Heard of Deadnaming?

SRN said:
I understand calling a transperson their birth name can be upsetting (why would anyone even do that on purpose?) but calling the cops is insane. If the person is harassing you then yes go to the police or sue them other than that just go on with your life.
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Nah. If they’ve legally changed their sex/gender whatever, then maybe there is a case. But if i start calling you ‘dave’, or something other than your name, how is that different from calling ‘Jennifer’ Peter? It’s not harassment, unless it’s abusive.

Problem is that there’s credence put into people who claim to identify as something. Fine, if you REALLY believe that, do it legally. Then I’ll call you by your new name. Otherwise, it’s my choice what I call you.

On a side note, I employed someone who wanted be called a gender neutral name. Because they requested it in a honest, and respectable manner, we were fine with it, nice person.

If they had been an asshole about it, we would have getting a legal team ready to understand rights, trust me.

I identify as the long dead ghost of King James II, now give me your fucking land....
 
Typical cis-gendered Sherdog forum posters dead-splaining dead-naming.

Very offensive.
 
laz0001 said:
Nah. If they’ve legally changed their sex/gender whatever, then maybe there is a case. But if i start calling you ‘dave’, or something other than your name, how is that different from calling ‘Jennifer’ Peter? It’s not harassment, unless it’s abusive.

Problem is that there’s credence put into people who claim to identify as something. Fine, if you REALLY believe that, do it legally. Then I’ll call you by your new name. Otherwise, it’s my choice what I call you.

On a side note, I employed someone who wanted be called a gender neutral name. Because they requested it in a honest, and respectable manner, we were fine with it, nice person.

If they had been an asshole about it, we would have getting a legal team ready to understand rights, trust me.

I identify as the long dead ghost of King James II, now give me your fucking land....
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I would consider a form of harassment if you continuously and deliberately misgender and deadname your employe after it was made legal.

I think the gender neutral thing is boloney but there's no reason to mistreat people, congrats on not being a jerk. That was cool. ;)
 
Deadnaming has been around for a while. But I get why some of you are just learning about it. And it also goes back to slave names vs african names (but obviously was not given a snazzy title).

I'm not really sure why you wouldn't just do your best to make the small adjustment and use a person's preferred name/pronoun. The fact you would go out of your way to callously or maliciously refuse to do so IS essentially aggressive by nature.

It took me about 3 weeks to remember to say he and not she for my cousin. He didn't freak out about it, because he knew I was doing my best to remember. Saying his name was less difficult, because we all grow up deciding on nicknames for friends etc... so that is pretty easy in our brains. The pronouns are a little harder just due to habit and fluidity, but it's quite simple. And you have to actively try to not do it, which again.... is aggressive by nature. Passive aggressive, sure. But still aggressive.

Anyway, a lot of you are real big babies about stuff, so keep crying about it I guess?
 
MilesAbove said:
Deadnaming has been around for a while. But I get why some of you are just learning about it. And it also goes back to slave names vs african names (but obviously was not given a snazzy title).

I'm not really sure why you wouldn't just do your best to make the small adjustment and use a person's preferred name/pronoun. The fact you would go out of your way to callously or maliciously refuse to do so IS essentially aggressive by nature.

It took me about 3 weeks to remember to say he and not she for my cousin. He didn't freak out about it, because he knew I was doing my best to remember. Saying his name was less difficult, because we all grow up deciding on nicknames for friends etc... so that is pretty easy in our brains. The pronouns are a little harder just due to habit and fluidity, but it's quite simple. And you have to actively try to not do it, which again.... is aggressive by nature. Passive aggressive, sure. But still aggressive.

Anyway, a lot of you are real big babies about stuff, so keep crying about it I guess?
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I think most people would use preferred pronouns and names in direct interaction. It's just a different thing whether there is a perceived duty to do so (or you are non-compliant / breaking some law) or whether it is common courtesy.
 
JDragon said:
I think most people would use preferred pronouns and names in direct interaction. It's just a different thing whether there is a perceived duty to do so (or you are non-compliant / breaking some law) or whether it is common courtesy.
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I agree, but it has seemed quite clear to me the only reason for the "it is now breaking a law" addendum has been added to the basic idea is due to aggressive refusal.

I'm not sure how many people here know more than 1 (if any) transgender persons. I know a handful due to the work one of my parents and my sister due with at-risk communities. One is married into my family. I also worked with a non-gender person who simply didn't identify with either (but he went the other way and you could say he or she because he didn't give a shit and was too metal to care).

I don't know one that is anything but graceful if someone deadnames or misgenders them randomly, even if it's multiple times. They only become upset when they have made a clear and direct effort to inform the person of the preference, and then it's clear that individual refuses to do so out of spite.

I'm sure there's some random dramatic outliers who are just.... the worst. But that's a problem with dramatic bitches and not trans- or non-gender persons.
 
That’s a disturbing name for it, but also perfectly suitable, given that what a transgender is really trying to do is kill themselves without actually dying. Also probably one of the reasons post-transition outcomes are poor, everywhere you go there you are, you can’t escape yourself.
 
machidafan99 said:
I had a buddy named Bill. He tried to reinvent himself in his 20s and refer to himself as "Will". His wife calles him Will. I just refuse. He'll always be little Bill to me. That's who I knew.

And he's not even trans.
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I have a friend like this. Only, he used to be fat, so his nickname as a kid was 'Chubby'.
He's now basically a beanpole and I still call him Chubby.
 
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