i tell people who bitch about tap time the same line i give the dudes who find out i've banged their girlfriend:
"that's a 'you' problem, not a 'me" problem."
if your girlfriend's sitting on my face, that's your problem.
if you didn't tap fast enough, that's your problem.
i absolutely respect the tap, 100%, and in practice i don't even lay it on hard, but you have to explain to the kids that it's not about the pain, it's about the lock.
as far as competition goes, whatever. i had a dude kimuraed twice and he still didn't tap, and i couldn't bring myself to snap his shoulder. 30 seconds later he's back in my guard, arm straight across my body, and i kick over for juji. you'd figure he'd tap, but you figure wrong. so, eleventy billion pops later, he figures it out. has to bow out of the tournament and spends the rest of the day in a sling.
i felt bad. almost.