your favourite "crap" movies

[ClubFoot]

"And you go in pieces." Damn, I haven't thought of this movie in probably close to 25 years.

I watched it a couple of months ago. It still holds up if you can see past all the cheese and take Dolph with a fistful of salt.

 

[Bay Area]

Walking Tall

Road House

 

[ClubFoot]

 

[Jack Reacheround]

Star Trek: Nemesis. It got panned by virtually everyone, but I thought it was the best of the TNG movies.

I liked it. I thought the special effects were excellent. It may be my least favorite TNG movie though. Still good.

 

[HHJ]

My understanding is that Berserker, if it ever gets made, will follow Apocalypto's lead and will be shot entirely in Old Norse.

I could see him wavering from that for moneymaking purposes, though. He needs another hit.

Fuck that. He needs to do it how he wants to do it. Leave Mel alone,let him work,and he can make magic.

 

[europe1]

Keeping the list going...

Welcome to the Punch
6.1

Night of the Comet
6.4

Ghost of Mars (yes, I'm serious)
4.9

Eraser (overshadowed but still good)
6.1

The Gauntlet (ie: the one where Eastwood gets beat up a lot)
6.4

Some Girls Do
6.0

Red Planet Mars (a hodgepodge of all the paronoia and fascinations of the 50's)
4.9

The Barbarians (better than their other films)
4.9

Red Lights
6.2

Trancers (one of my personal favorites. Most of it's sequels are at-least watchable too)
6.1

The Prodigal
5.2

San Antonio (Errol Flynn made awesome westerns as well)
6.3

Valley of the Kings (one of the main inspirations for Indiana Jones)
6.0

Cult of the Cobra
5.8

Future Force
3.5

Legion of Iron (probably the best of the "Modern Gladiators" movies)
4.2

The Devils Sword
5.9

A.P.E.X (Zer Approved)
4.4

Back Door to Hell (By Tarantino's mentor Monte Hellman)
5.2

Andriod Apocalypse
4.2

 

[HHJ]

 

[europe1]

Man... I really, really wished I could agree with you on that one but it was such a huge piece of vasted potential. It's alright but considering what they had it could have been great if it was just more focused and cohesive.

Silk 2 (Monique Gabrielle as an Action Heroine... it's glorious)
5.4

Patrick Still Lives
5.6

Spoiler: Where stuff like this happens

Devil Girl From Mars (just... a classic)
5.0

Ambush at Tomahawk Gap
6.0

The Archer
5.6

The Wherewolf and the Yeti (or ANY Paul Naschy film for that matter)
5.3

La Casa 5
4.0

Terror in the Midnight Sun
3.9

Womaneater
4.6

Little Rita in the West (much better than the one where she meets the Nazis)
4.6

Sleepless (From 2017, really solid crime-suspense film)
5.5

I, Frankenstein
5.1

Risen (the first half is basically a police procedual in the time of Christ)
6.3

Killer Klowns From Outer Space (Obviously...)
6.1

W Django (one of the better Django knock-offs)
6.1

Princess Warrior
3.2

Light Blast (Erik Estrada action-flick!)
5.1

 

[HHJ]

Man... I really, really wished I could agree with you on that one but it was such a huge piece of vasted potential. It's alright but considering what they had it could have been great if it was just more focused and cohesive.

Silk 2 (Monique Gabrielle as an Action Heroine... it's glorious)
5.4

Patrick Still Lives
5.6

Spoiler: Where stuff like this happens

Devil Girl From Mars (just... a classic)
5.0

Ambush at Tomahawk Gap
6.0

The Archer
5.6

The Wherewolf and the Yeti (or ANY Paul Naschy film for that matter)
5.3

La Casa 5
4.0

Terror in the Midnight Sun
3.9

Womaneater
4.6

Little Rita in the West (much better than the one where she meets the Nazis)
4.6

Sleepless (From 2017, really solid crime-suspense film)
5.5

I, Frankenstein
5.1

Risen (the first half is basically a police procedual in the time of Christ)
6.3

Killer Klowns From Outer Space (Obviously...)
6.1

W Django (one of the better Django knock-offs)
6.1

Princess Warrior
3.2

Light Blast (Erik Estrada action-flick!)
5.1

Well i liked the guardian,it has alot of flaws but its got stuff in it thats awesome. It could have been better,but i still like it. I wish i had it on dvd.

 

[europe1]

Island of Doom (one of the uncountable films where Peter Lorre is absolutely badass)
5.9

The Assault
3.6

Master of the Flying Guillotine 4 and Return of the 18 Bronzmen -- two of my favorite Carter Wong films)
5.9 and 6.1

Johnny Oro (one of the first Spaghetti Westerns and one of Corbucci's firsts)
5.6

The Street Fighter 3 (the last in the seires, still very good)
6.1

Sword of Honor
5.3

The Vampire and the Ballerina (one of the first films in the Italian Horror wave)
5.8

Death Drug (hilarious anti-drug PSA with the Tubbs from Miami Vice)
5.2

British Intelligence and Before I Hang (just another couple of examples in the infinite amount of masterpieces staring Boris Karloff)
6.0 and 6.1

The Leg Fighters (really great and funny Kung Fu flick about... well... leg fighters)
5.9

Tunka (Spanish Conan the Barbarian!)
4.4

Some of the better Italian Mad Max cash-ins out there. Endgame, Exterminators of the Year 3000,1990: Bronx Warriors, 2020 Texas Gladiators, The New Barbarians. And untold others.

 

[Guestx]

Fuck that. He needs to do it how he wants to do it. Leave Mel alone,let him work,and he can make magic.

I don't disagree but I could see him foregoing Old Norse for English in the name of mainstream success.

 

[HHJ]

Some of these shit movies have such awesome cover art.

 

[europe1]

Some of these shit movies have such awesome cover art.

Nothing makes me more enraged when I'm promised this...

But get this...

Of course NOTHING even REMOTELY like that AWESOME poster happens in that actual FREAKING movie.

I ain't picky. Had she not actually been white then I could have overlooked that. But I want my Goddamn Female-Tarzan taking on fucking Kaa from the Jungle Book in a Knife vs Fangs Fight to the Death!<45>

 

[HHJ]

Endgame,look at that cover.That looks fuckin awesome.

the trailer looks like i wanna watch this,but i wont post cos of big fat titties.

 

[chrisdiaz]

I logged in just to like this post. This movie was so awesome as a kid and has a pretty awesome soundtrack.

 

[chrisdiaz]

The big hit (1999) was awesome as well. Great action and mark wahlberg as a little bitch was too funny getting punked by mulitple women.

 

[Deleted member 220895]

The Crank movies and Ghost Rider 2

Also any movie with MST3K commentary

 

[Philo-Publius]

Well i liked the guardian,it has alot of flaws but its got stuff in it thats awesome. It could have been better,but i still like it. I wish i had it on dvd.

I was very young when I saw that movie, so I would kind of like to give it another whirl. I seem to recall that it did have some spooky scenes, but wasn't some of that just a bird flying across the screen?

 

[AgentSmecker]

Endgame,look at that cover.That looks fuckin awesome.

the trailer looks like i wanna watch this,but i wont post cos of big fat titties.

I was just admiring some of those oldschool pieces of vhs cover art that people been posting up. That Endgame one is sweet and I remember seeing it in my local video store when I was a lad. Back then some of those covers really enchanted me and some of the video nasty ones creeped me the fuck out.

 

[Good Ole Stannis's BBQ]

My understanding is that Berserker, if it ever gets made, will follow Apocalypto's lead and will be shot entirely in Old Norse.

I could see him wavering from that for moneymaking purposes, though. He needs another hit.

That sounds great and they could go a lot of ways with it. Viking settlers battling with native people of Newfoundland would be cool. I've been waiting a while for a Viking epic. There's a movie called Viking that came out in December in Russia that had a lot of hype and billed as game of thrones like. It didn't release here and it got pretty disappointing reviews unfortunately. Also I asked my friend to download that Hansel and Gretel movie for me and he downloaded a spoof version by mistake called Hansel and Gretel get baked so I'm yet to see it.