I can't recount every match so I'll go by tournament:
2 - 0 in MMA, first win a unanimous decision, 2nd win a submission
prolly over a dozen NAGAs:
Didn't place at all in one tournament, tons of 3rd and second place medals, sometimes only 1 medal on the day, sometimes placed in both divisions...
A couple golds in some pankration style tournaments.
Got two silvers in a submission only tournament two years ago, my first gold ever in the same submission only tournament about a month ago (got a silver in Gi as well).
Lost my first match in the NY Open last September to points (close match... next time I'll make it through a few matches in my bracket!!
)
As for funny instances, I relax myself by talking and having fun during my rolls, for example:
One time, I'm in a match and I'm on top in my opponent's half guard, keeping him flat. His corner yells "Let's go, get up. He's not stronger than the guys you train with!" And I looked up and said "You're damn right I'm not!" .. His corner chuckled, the guy on bottom chucked, the ref facepalmed and we continued on.
Another time I had a guy smothering me from side, couldn't get anything going. My corner guy was staring at me from the top half and couldn't see my bottom half. He says "I can't see what he's doing with your bottom half", and since he was on top of me blocking my vision, I yell back "I can't either, dude. He's literally on top of me." My corner yells back "PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR MATCH!" and I yell back "WELL THEN STOP DISTRACTING ME!" lol.
Another time I spent like, 3 minutes trying to break this dude's guard. It was an intense battle because we were both expending a lot of energy. I'd get close to breaking and he'd break me bakc down, etc etc. At one point the ref yells "keep working", and me and the guy both stop, stare at him and go "WE'RE TRYING" then continue rolling. lol.
Then there was a time when I was going for a collar choke from the back, and there was a photographer who came by and started taking pictures of our match. As I was going for the choke I stopped, looked up at him and let out a big goofy grin. The photographer looked down at his camera, made a weird face, looked up and me and started laughing, so I winked at him and then kept going for the choke.
I try and keep the mood light because if you're not having fun out there, what's the point, right?