White House fight card - what’s your lineup look like?

[prime_lobov]

Main event: Jon Jones vs. Ngannou. But for 6 months leading up to the fight, tell Tom Aspinall that he’s fighting Jones. Then switch to Ngannou 2 days before the event and remove Tom from the card entitely.

Co-main: Conor vs Chandler, PowerSlap rules but using your penis instead of your hands to slap.

Other fights:
Tony Ferguson vs Deontay Wilder, boxing match
Fabricio Werdum vs Junior Tafa, for the BJJBMF belt

 

[Kenny Powerth]

Dagestan vs The rest of Russia card

 

[TimeToTrain]

Trump vs musk winner takes all.

What are they gonna take?

 

[Hymen Crusher]

What are they gonna take?

The entirety of america

 

[Shaolin Alan]

Trump vs Biden, loser goes to a retirement home, winner also goes to a retirement home.

AOC vs Candace Owens, openweight. talking not allowed during this fight; the audience will thank me later.

Mike Pence vs Tim Walz in the battle of "why the fuck was this dude ever considered for VP"

Kamala Harris vs Hillary Clinton, if Kamala wins she will be enshrined for all time for getting rid of Hillary and we'll stop making fun of her for claiming to like Tupac in college. if Hillary wins, the world weeps.

JD Vance of 2025 vs JD Vance of 2016. make the guy fight his past, more principled self.

Pete Buttigeig vs Ted Cruz because it would be funny seeing Cruz knocked out cold by a gay dude.

Tucker Carlson vs Rachael Maddow to see who really is the sassiest lesbian out there.

Chris Christie vs a diet and exercise regimen.

John Stewart vs Seth Meyers to determine which aging liberal celebrity will get to moralize and browbeat people on their mediocre shows for canned laughter.

Bill Mahar vs his own ego. hard to pick a winner here.


book it Dana!

You forgot Ben Shapiro v Charlie Kirk. Loser has to have sex with Hillary

Milo Yianopolus v Juicy Smallette. Loser gets a pickle jar shoved up shim's ass!! (if you know, you know )

 

[Blastbeat]

You forgot Ben Shapiro v Charlie Kirk. Loser has to have sex with Hillary

Milo Yianopolus v Juicy Smallette. Loser gets a pickle jar shoved up shim's ass!! (if you know, you know )

i actually considered both Shapiro and Kirk but based on what i know about them, they'd probably both wimp out and have their security teams fight each other

also i didnt consider either Juicy or Milo re-enacting 1guy1jar

 

[sonhow]

Jon Jones vs Conor McGregor in a rap battle. Trum decides the winner.
Loser is fired
"---youre fired -tm"

 

[Neck&Neck]

Felons vs Patriots main card
Celebrity Slap Fights undercard
Special Tito Ortiz monologue

 

[JBJ was here]

Jon Jones makes one last cut to 206 to fight McGregor, who weighs in at 198, no cut, in a reenactment of Cormier vs. Henderson.

 

[Leonard Haid]

The fans were promised this, but it never happened. Make it happen, Dana.

 

[ChrisBenoit]

obama vs osama

Winner fight Onama

 

[Leonard Haid]

Winner fight Onama

Winner fight yo mama

 

[TankAbbott4Eva]

Surely Putin v Zelensky, we know who Trump would be going for!

 

[HI SCOTT NEWMAN]

I'd love to see Trumpy vs Bob Arum

 

[Goat Poster]

For the Main Event we have:

 

[Dorkman]

The fans were promised this, but it never happened. Make it happen, Dana.

View attachment 1104411

I don't think vince would fight trump. But I do think he's crazy enough to fight somebody.

 

[cburm]

Jon vs Tom
Gane vs lewis
Illia vs arman
Volk vs henry
Gaethje vs paddy
Jiri vs ank
Khamzat vs Strickland
Bo vs Colby

 

[NoSmilez]

You have to pack it with Americans winning.

Jon will probably fight Alex or Black Beast.
Colby will probably get a slot.
Masvidal will get a comeback fight. Gilbert and Moicano will get fights too.
Gaethje, Holland and Chandler will get slots.
Bo and Pyfer will round it out.

Sprinkle some Mexican Americans within the card and we are good to go.

 

[Ladder Master]

12 jurors
7 Attorneys
6 police officers
1 judge

 

[mangokush]

Main event should be

Co main should be

Conor & Jones can headline the prelims