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When I walked my dog this morning, I felt fortunate for myself and society

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by jeffk, Jan 15, 2013.

  1. jeffk Brown Belt

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    It is fortunate for society that we can control our bowels.

    When I walked my dog this morning I had to go really badly and didn
     
  2. Josh Guest

    Shitty thread.
     
  3. odog A cat trapped in a dog's body

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    If we couldn't control our bowels, there would be more public toilets. There would probably be one on every street corner.
     
  4. TheSauce Brown Belt

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    why tho..
    in my doctoral thesis i showed there was a correlation between waiting to use a toilet and dating fat chicks. experts in the field are currently rustling papers and having panic attacks over my discovery. i predict in just 3 months all public and private bathrooms will be destroyed in place of a free shitting utopia.
     
  5. RSmith47 Brown Belt

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  6. jeffk Brown Belt

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    About 190 lbs and 6'1" tall. When I trained for a marathon a couple months ago I would eat two Chipotle burritos after my long run every Sunday. Then be a blob and watch TV for a couple hours. It was glorious.
     
  7. SafyreSchool** Banned Banned

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    To be fair, on a big dude, it doesn't seem that bad.
    3 or 4, now that's a problem.

    Personally, I could never eat two in one sitting, but I'm not a big guy, so I imagine it's not exactly into the realm of lardass yet.
     
  8. equus Horse Belt Staff Member Senior Moderator

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    dogs can control their bowels. hence the reason they walk over to the door and look at you until you open it. then go shit OUTSIDE.

    also if you eat 2 burritos from chipotle in a sitting, you may NEED to go check out that "how you know youre fat" thread.

    i agree with RSmith.
     
  9. Eyepokesftw Brown Belt

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    Why do you think dogs love their human master so much? We get to control when they take a shit. Most of the time.
     
  10. Phreaxer Black Belt

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    this.
    I think the best is when someone's dog is mad at them and shits in the house on purpose. I think people should adopt that. My bosses desk would be a veritable mine field. lol
     
  11. Diktaattori ★☆★☆★

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    ★☆★☆★ threads.
    In b4 shitstorm.
     
  12. lakersfan45 That's sardo! No mr, accent on the do!

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    I feel terrible for my dog in the morning. I take him out at 530am and its freezing, je begs me not to take him out. Hes a pug and looks me straight in the eye to show me how miserable he is... shivering as he shits. When he comes inside he doesn't even walk around the house just goes back yo jis bed and burrieshimself.

    Summer is completely different he loves going out and shitting everywhere
     
  13. TriangleMan Purple Belt

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    What the fuck.
     
  14. Da Boss Gettin nasty, Bro

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  15. Roop Holstry Red Belt

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    I once pooped my pants in public years ago. I was up late the night before drinking excessive amounts of Natty Ice and decided to eat Taco Bell. (I also failed to remember that I also had chili for dinner).

    The next morning I was walking down the street and was about to greet my friend on the sidewalk when I decided to fart. It wasn't a fart though, it was a shart, and I had a full-blown case of the Natty Splatties. My friend knew something was up so had to briefly explain to my friend that I shit myself. I then awkwardly jogged to the beach holding my ass to cover the green stain on my white board shorts. Then I jumped into the ocean the crisis was mostly evaded.

    If I wasn't still drunk when this happened I feel like I would be more embarrassed because I had to pass at least 100 people before jumping in the ocean.


    tl dr: People can't always hold their shit and it can come out unexpectedly.
     
  16. genecop Gold Belt

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    The thread title gave me hope.....then this shit talk.....
     
  17. PalharesIsHulk** Blue Belt

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    I expected something completely different when I first read the thread title...
     
  18. jeffk Brown Belt

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    lol. I looked over to my dog and he was like why are you laughing. I know how that dog feels.
     
  19. MortalWombat Vombatus Sherdoggus

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    Didn't the Egyptians worship the sphincter and even make statues of it near the pyramids?
     
  20. thebluerider caelgender ftw

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    praise jeebus for our mastery over poop
     

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