When I walked my dog this morning, I felt fortunate for myself and society

jeffk

Brown Belt
@Brown
Joined
May 21, 2007
Messages
4,431
Reaction score
374
It is fortunate for society that we can control our bowels.

When I walked my dog this morning I had to go really badly and didn
 
If we couldn't control our bowels, there would be more public toilets. There would probably be one on every street corner.
 
in my doctoral thesis i showed there was a correlation between waiting to use a toilet and dating fat chicks. experts in the field are currently rustling papers and having panic attacks over my discovery. i predict in just 3 months all public and private bathrooms will be destroyed in place of a free shitting utopia.
 
You can eat two Chipotle burritos? How fat are you?


About 190 lbs and 6'1" tall. When I trained for a marathon a couple months ago I would eat two Chipotle burritos after my long run every Sunday. Then be a blob and watch TV for a couple hours. It was glorious.
 
You can eat two Chipotle burritos? How fat are you?

To be fair, on a big dude, it doesn't seem that bad.
3 or 4, now that's a problem.

Personally, I could never eat two in one sitting, but I'm not a big guy, so I imagine it's not exactly into the realm of lardass yet.
 
dogs can control their bowels. hence the reason they walk over to the door and look at you until you open it. then go shit OUTSIDE.

also if you eat 2 burritos from chipotle in a sitting, you may NEED to go check out that "how you know youre fat" thread.

i agree with RSmith.
 
Why do you think dogs love their human master so much? We get to control when they take a shit. Most of the time.
 
dogs can control their bowels. hence the reason they walk over to the door and look at you until you open it. then go shit OUTSIDE.

this.
I think the best is when someone's dog is mad at them and shits in the house on purpose. I think people should adopt that. My bosses desk would be a veritable mine field. lol
 
I feel terrible for my dog in the morning. I take him out at 530am and its freezing, je begs me not to take him out. Hes a pug and looks me straight in the eye to show me how miserable he is... shivering as he shits. When he comes inside he doesn't even walk around the house just goes back yo jis bed and burrieshimself.

Summer is completely different he loves going out and shitting everywhere
 
I once pooped my pants in public years ago. I was up late the night before drinking excessive amounts of Natty Ice and decided to eat Taco Bell. (I also failed to remember that I also had chili for dinner).

The next morning I was walking down the street and was about to greet my friend on the sidewalk when I decided to fart. It wasn't a fart though, it was a shart, and I had a full-blown case of the Natty Splatties. My friend knew something was up so had to briefly explain to my friend that I shit myself. I then awkwardly jogged to the beach holding my ass to cover the green stain on my white board shorts. Then I jumped into the ocean the crisis was mostly evaded.

If I wasn't still drunk when this happened I feel like I would be more embarrassed because I had to pass at least 100 people before jumping in the ocean.


tl dr: People can't always hold their shit and it can come out unexpectedly.
 
The thread title gave me hope.....then this shit talk.....
 
I feel terrible for my dog in the morning. I take him out at 530am and its freezing, je begs me not to take him out. Hes a pug and looks me straight in the eye to show me how miserable he is... shivering as he shits. When he comes inside he doesn't even walk around the house just goes back yo jis bed and burrieshimself.

Summer is completely different he loves going out and shitting everywhere

lol. I looked over to my dog and he was like why are you laughing. I know how that dog feels.
 
Didn't the Egyptians worship the sphincter and even make statues of it near the pyramids?
 
Back
Top