When I walked my dog this morning, I felt fortunate for myself and society

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by jeffk, Jan 15, 2013.

  1. jeffk

    jeffk Brown Belt

    Joined:
    May 21, 2007
    Messages:
    4,071
    Likes Received:
    3,035
    It is fortunate for society that we can control our bowels.

    When I walked my dog this morning I had to go really badly and didn
     
  2. Josh

    Josh Guest

    Shitty thread.
     
  3. odog

    odog A cat trapped in a dog's body

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2007
    Messages:
    13,048
    Likes Received:
    8,536
    Location:
    Terminal City
    If we couldn't control our bowels, there would be more public toilets. There would probably be one on every street corner.
     
  4. TheSauce

    TheSauce Brown Belt

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2009
    Messages:
    3,202
    Likes Received:
    125
    Location:
    why tho..
    in my doctoral thesis i showed there was a correlation between waiting to use a toilet and dating fat chicks. experts in the field are currently rustling papers and having panic attacks over my discovery. i predict in just 3 months all public and private bathrooms will be destroyed in place of a free shitting utopia.
     
  5. RSmith47

    RSmith47 Brown Belt

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2011
    Messages:
    3,049
    Likes Received:
    37
     
  6. jeffk

    jeffk Brown Belt

    Joined:
    May 21, 2007
    Messages:
    4,071
    Likes Received:
    3,035

    About 190 lbs and 6'1" tall. When I trained for a marathon a couple months ago I would eat two Chipotle burritos after my long run every Sunday. Then be a blob and watch TV for a couple hours. It was glorious.
     
  7. SafyreSchool**

    SafyreSchool** Banned Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2007
    Messages:
    6,563
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    The forests of DC
    To be fair, on a big dude, it doesn't seem that bad.
    3 or 4, now that's a problem.

    Personally, I could never eat two in one sitting, but I'm not a big guy, so I imagine it's not exactly into the realm of lardass yet.
     
  8. equus

    equus Horse Belt Staff Member Senior Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2009
    Messages:
    31,583
    Likes Received:
    5,876
    Location:
    Korova Milk Bar
    dogs can control their bowels. hence the reason they walk over to the door and look at you until you open it. then go shit OUTSIDE.

    also if you eat 2 burritos from chipotle in a sitting, you may NEED to go check out that "how you know youre fat" thread.

    i agree with RSmith.
     
  9. Eyepokesftw

    Eyepokesftw Brown Belt

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2007
    Messages:
    3,927
    Likes Received:
    1,340
    Why do you think dogs love their human master so much? We get to control when they take a shit. Most of the time.
     
  10. Phreaxer

    Phreaxer Black Belt

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2011
    Messages:
    7,423
    Likes Received:
    41
    this.
    I think the best is when someone's dog is mad at them and shits in the house on purpose. I think people should adopt that. My bosses desk would be a veritable mine field. lol
     
  11. Diktaattori

    Diktaattori ★☆★☆★

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2012
    Messages:
    3,015
    Likes Received:
    277
    Location:
    ★☆★☆★ threads.
    In b4 shitstorm.
     
  12. lakersfan45

    lakersfan45 That's sardo! No mr, accent on the do!

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2011
    Messages:
    8,463
    Likes Received:
    35,340
    Location:
    socal
    I feel terrible for my dog in the morning. I take him out at 530am and its freezing, je begs me not to take him out. Hes a pug and looks me straight in the eye to show me how miserable he is... shivering as he shits. When he comes inside he doesn't even walk around the house just goes back yo jis bed and burrieshimself.

    Summer is completely different he loves going out and shitting everywhere
     
  13. TriangleMan

    TriangleMan Purple Belt

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2012
    Messages:
    2,267
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    La Mirada, CA
    What the fuck.
     
  14. Da Boss

    Da Boss Gettin nasty, Bro

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2006
    Messages:
    5,878
    Likes Received:
    2,929
    Location:
    Finding My Way
  15. Roop Holstry

    Roop Holstry Red Belt

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2012
    Messages:
    9,004
    Likes Received:
    18,552
    Location:
    Flavortown, NJ
    I once pooped my pants in public years ago. I was up late the night before drinking excessive amounts of Natty Ice and decided to eat Taco Bell. (I also failed to remember that I also had chili for dinner).

    The next morning I was walking down the street and was about to greet my friend on the sidewalk when I decided to fart. It wasn't a fart though, it was a shart, and I had a full-blown case of the Natty Splatties. My friend knew something was up so had to briefly explain to my friend that I shit myself. I then awkwardly jogged to the beach holding my ass to cover the green stain on my white board shorts. Then I jumped into the ocean the crisis was mostly evaded.

    If I wasn't still drunk when this happened I feel like I would be more embarrassed because I had to pass at least 100 people before jumping in the ocean.


    tl dr: People can't always hold their shit and it can come out unexpectedly.
     
  16. genecop

    genecop Silver Belt

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Messages:
    11,293
    Likes Received:
    14,260
    The thread title gave me hope.....then this shit talk.....
     
  17. PalharesIsHulk**

    PalharesIsHulk** Blue Belt

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2012
    Messages:
    757
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Australia (not fapping)
    I expected something completely different when I first read the thread title...
     
  18. jeffk

    jeffk Brown Belt

    Joined:
    May 21, 2007
    Messages:
    4,071
    Likes Received:
    3,035
    lol. I looked over to my dog and he was like why are you laughing. I know how that dog feels.
     
  19. MortalWombat

    MortalWombat Vombatus Sherdoggus

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2005
    Messages:
    7,249
    Likes Received:
    235
    Location:
    Australia
    Didn't the Egyptians worship the sphincter and even make statues of it near the pyramids?
     
  20. thebluerider

    thebluerider caelgender ftw

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2007
    Messages:
    24,845
    Likes Received:
    1,791
    Location:
    the caelgenderverse
    praise jeebus for our mastery over poop
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.