What were some ridiculous things you thought were true or funny logic about life you had as a child

[OverCoronavirus Pressure]

When I was 6 or 8 years old, I reasoned out that Santa Claus couldn't exist.

So I marshaled all of my logical arguments and went to my mother, expecting to trap her into admitting it.
I went up to her, and asked her if Santa Claus is real. She just said "Nope." and went on making dinner. I was actually sort of crushed that she didn't try to argue about it.

 

[usmctanker242]

I thought every time a movie or show was on that it was "live," but the actors were so good that they never messed up. I must have been 7 or 8 and one day scrolling channels I found the same actor playing 2 different roles at the same time...I was fucking perplexed beyond all reason. LMAO

As most young kids do I also believed in religion and all the silly magic / hocus pocus involved with it. I used to be terrified of the 7 trumpets signaling the apocalypse, and every time I'd hear someone playing an instrument in my neighborhood I'd damned near shit my pants in fear. haha

 

[Pliny Pete]

When I was a kid I thought all white people were like the white people in sitcoms
I thought they didn't have real problems, no money worries, no domestic violence, no drug addiction, just a buncha happy little charmed suburban lives full of good grades, nice clothes and Disneyland vacations and none of that bullshit we had to live through every day in the ghetto

So basically I was woke on white privilege from a very young age

 

[minute bull]

I mistook the word "tenure" for "ten year," which I'd concluded meant if a teacher worked for ten years they couldn't be fired. So close, but not even not at all.

 

[Law Talkin’ Guy]

My dad was a chemical engineer working in an oil refinery.

Until I was six or seven I thought being an engineer meant my dad drove a train and dressed like this for work: