What were some ridiculous things you thought were true or funny logic about life you had as a child

[ultramanhyata]

Thinking chicks with dicks were real, then realizing it just a dude pretending to be a chick

This is a true story.

When I was about 13 I was hanging out at a buddy's house with some other guys and he showed us some Swedish Erotica video catalogs he had found in his dad's bedroom. One of them featured hardcore stills from John Holmes films.

I saw Holmes' erect dick and immediately assumed it was fake. I said to the guy sitting next to me, who was about 16, "Look at this ridiculous, giant fake cock. They must glue it on over his real one."

I will always remember the next moment. It is burned into my brain. This 16 year old looked me right in the eye and in a very serious voice said, "That's real, dude." I think all the color drained from my face because I knew he was telling me the truth.

From that day forward I never again looked at my penis the same way.

 

[Steve-French]

The first time I saw a black individual (at 3), I thought they were made from chocolate. Literally.

LOL... That's pretty bad. A friend of mine grew up in the sticks in an area where there was only white people. When he was four he and his family went to Detroit to see some relatives. They got out at a gas station or something and he saw a group of Black people for the first time and said... "Hey Dad look... Indians."

 

[HereticBD]

Don't swim for one hour after eating, or you'll sink to the bottom, drown and die.

 

[weed]

I used to love The Jetsons growing up.

for some reason in my mind, I believed we'd all have flying vehicles before we hit the year 2000.

ultra disappoint.

 

[Steve-French]

Mr. Gwasdoff - a very popular & well respected social studies/history teacher during middle school always told us only a white person could become president. I actually believed that.

I grew up in a predominately white area and we were always told that there will most likely be a Black president during our life time. I always thought it was bullshit that there wasn't as I couldn't really wrap my head around racism. You can love or hate Obama's politics him being elected was a very important and great day for the United States.

 

[JimmyFresno]

The assumption that we are all equal as human beings, and that the nations of the world were like teams, competing with each other to create the best societies/people possible.

Ha!

Also, I wanted adamantium bones, and claws like Wolverine for Christmas, when I was 7.

Ha!

 

[Otto!]

I was born in the 60s. Some of the things we saw in science fiction movies back then became reality. A phone without a cord? Robots, space station.

 

[franklinstower]

Not mine but my godson thought the world used to be black and white because of old movies....

 

[ElKarlo]

I used to love The Jetsons growing up.

for some reason in my mind, I believed we'd all have flying vehicles before we hit the year 2000.

ultra disappoint.

The future promised to us by the 80s has been severely disappointing. 2000 stuff looked better in 1985 than 2020 does now smh

 

[Oeshon]

I thought supermarkets manufactured all the products on site. You would see the people bring the boxes of goods from 'the secret section' of the store, which is where everything was made and packaged.

 

[mb23100]

Watching my much older sister (16 years) and grandma play cribbage I always thought the board with all the colors was a part of the game strategy. Only about 2 years ago did I learn to play and found out the board is only to keep score and nothing else.

 

[HeffDoesWant]

I thought gypsies were fake like goblins and elves.

I found out they were real in my twenties.

 

[sleepwalk]

As a kid, I had hypothesized that grass, if strong enough, became a flower, then a bush, then a tree.

 

[Ruprecht]

The future promised to us by the 80s has been severely disappointing. 2000 stuff looked better in 1985 than 2020 does now smh

Yeah, even dystopian '80s futurism was pretty cool.
It was the '70s visions of the future that really appealed to me though, even with the strange combination of Cold War and New Age influences.

Spoiler

Although funnily enough they got plenty of things dead right, it was mostly that retrofuturistic style that was missing.

Spoiler

In terms of ridiculous things I believed as a kid...
When I was 9 or 10 (year 6) I read a book by Stan Deyo, "The Cosmic Conspiracy". I hadn't encountered that sort of material before. For about 2 weeks I took it as fact and it warped my world.
The combination of apocalyptic fundamentalist Christianity, UFOlogy and illumninati/government conspiracies to form a NWO Global Government by faking alien contact with their secret, suppressed anti-gravity technology, was a "reality tunnel" leading nowhere good.

Spoiler

 

[Bald1]

I thought gypsies were fake like goblins and elves.

I found out they were real in my twenties.

Lol. Nice.

I grew up around gypsies so that was normal to me. But when I mentioned here that I didn't even meet a black person until the age of 11 it blew some minds.

 

[GeorgeO]

When I was a little kid someone told me that in order to become a boxer, you had to have the little bone in your nose surgically removed. Because if you didn't, it could be punched into your brain and then you'd die.

 

[aus101]

because of Dumbo, I really thought Storks dropped off babies and newborns.

I remember being so confused by that scene. Why had I been told something so much more disturbing when babies were really just dropped in by a bird.

 

[Tone C]

I thought you had to pee into a woman to get her pregnant.

 

[ElKarlo]

Yeah, even dystopian '80s futurism was pretty cool.
It was the '70s visions of the future that really appealed to me though, even with the strange combination of Cold War and New Age influences.

Spoiler

Although funnily enough they got plenty of things dead right, it was mostly that retrofuturistic style that was missing.

Spoiler

In terms of ridiculous things I believed as a kid...
When I was 9 or 10 (year 6) I read a book by Stan Deyo, "The Cosmic Conspiracy". I hadn't encountered that sort of material before. For about 2 weeks I took it as fact and it warped my world.
The combination of apocalyptic fundamentalist Christianity, UFOlogy and illumninati/government conspiracies to form a NWO Global Government by faking alien contact with their secret, suppressed anti-gravity technology, was a "reality tunnel" leading nowhere good.

Spoiler

70s future did have it's share of dystopia, but in general it was pretty cool. Nice stuff man

 

[tonysmasseuse]

Lol. Nice.

I grew up around gypsies so that was normal to me. But when I mentioned here that I didn't even meet a black person until the age of 11 it blew some minds.

Me too. Was 10 before i saw an exotic person irl, an Indian lady that suddenly one day stood at the busstop i passed on my way to school - in a colourful sari, jet-black hair, red dot on forehead and everything, Nearly fell off my bike.

Was 14 when i saw black peoples irl for the first time. On visit to Paris.