Television What to do if you find a large amount of cash?

[HereticBD]

I definitely wouldn't be making any big investments, or changing my habits too much. It would basically be a money tree for bullshit that wouldn't raise any alarms. Maybe I start taking more chances with it when I'm old and don't give a fuck, but ultimately, I wouldn't be telling anyone about it and I'd be a little paranoid to do a whole lot with it.

 

[Batjester]

Nobody has said 2 chicks at once yet?





I'm VERY disappointed in you Sherbros.

 

[ralphc1]

would it work to start some kind of hard to trace business like a "life coach" or something and start logging 8 clients a day at 200 dollars a session? would something like that work?

that's over 500000 dollars a year in income and you don't do any work for it.

@ralphc1

You might get by with that if you paid taxes on the income and didn't get selected for a random audit and they checked on your customers. They might find it strange that everyone pays in cash.

 

[ralphc1]

I’d find Dana and a card game in Vegas.. Fully ready and willing to lose a million dollars.. The rest of the chips I bought gets turned back into fresh new money, and I’m off to an Island! Woot!!

If you spend $10K or more to buy chips, the casinos have to report it. You could go to many different casinos and buy smaller amounts of chips to stay under the $10K reporting limits. Remember, everything that happens in a casino is recorded by multiple cameras.

 

[Cherry Brigand]

If i found a suitcase with 10 million dollars somewhere, most of the scenarios running through my head would be bad. Like id assume it was drug related etc. I would briefly contemplate how I could keep it without being found out but in the end I would chicken out because I’d just assume I’d slip up somewhere down the line and get my family killed.

The most likely scenario.

 

[submerged88]

Set up a non profit, accept an anonymous gift from an anonymous donor, buy some land for the non profit (for assets) and pay myself and others from the "donation" for a few years until the money runs out, dissolve the non profit and sell the land.

 

[terrapin]

You might get by with that if you paid taxes on the income and didn't get selected for a random audit and they checked on your customers. They might find it strange that everyone pays in cash.

How do they check on your customers by the way that seems like it would be hard to really prove or disprove doesn't it?

 

[NoSmilez]

I learned that I need to make a chinese friend so we can buy land or something.

 

[Bacco]

I am watching a Korean show on netflix where the premise is the main charecter finds two dead drug dealers and takes their money. So I was wondering what you would need to do to deal with all that money. Let's say you find 10 million dollars. Could you go to a place that sells gold. Then go to another place that buys gold and get a check. I get you might have to pay taxes on the check you get from the second store but that is one idea I have. What if you are just getting rid of 100k? What would really happen if you just put it all in the bank and paid taxes on it? Just declare it as income. Does the government really try to trace all this stuff?

The Show is Model Family

My life is going decently, would not keep money related to a possible/likely murder
Both cops and crime may find you

If is just moral question, no risk related
Would keep, from there there are ways

 

[ralphc1]

How do they check on your customers by the way that seems like it would be hard to really prove or disprove doesn't it?

It would be very difficult for you to prove you had customers if you can't provide a list of them. It would be very easy for them to watch you to see if you meet 8 clients a day. Remember you would need to have physical contact for them to hand over cash to you.

 

[empsim]

I'd work part time and use the cash for every day expenses like coffee, groceries, and hookers.

Just live comfortably without ever having to worry about money. I don't need a huge house or a Ferrari.

 

[HHJ]

First thing I think I would do would be to bury it for like five to ten years. The reason is to give it time for criminals or authorities to stop looking for it. I would also divide it into five caches of $2 million each, just in case any of them were found by someone else just as I had found them.

I would periodically check the sites, maybe once a month each, to keep an eye on them.

Over those five to ten years I’d start exploring options on how to launder the money once I felt it was safe to dig it up. I’d do research, may touch base with some “unsavoury” lawyers or accountants that could help me out. Then I would start following through on their advice, whether that involves opening up car washes or laser tag places. The running joke in Edmonton is that our multitude of Donair shops are all for laundering drug money, so maybe I’d hire a couple of Lebanese dudes to run a Donair shop and be its face for me.

Once I had the money laundered etc I would buy a big house and a fancy car, maybe a separate vacation property, then set up a college fund for my kids and a retirement fund for me with the rest.

Very fuckin smart.

 

[HHJ]

I'd work part time and use the cash for every day expenses like coffee, groceries, and hookers.

Just live comfortably without ever having to worry about money. I don't need a huge house or a Ferrari.

Easier said than done when you have 10 million

 

[Fedorgasm]

would it work to start some kind of hard to trace business like a "life coach" or something and start logging 8 clients a day at 200 dollars a session? would something like that work?

that's over 500000 dollars a year in income and you don't do any work for it.

@ralphc1

That's the biggest red flag. Everyone knows life coaches are basically just unemployed people. Nobody actually uses them.

 

[Fedorgasm]

I used to work in a casino and most of our business was drug dealers or small business owners laundering money. There were a few dozen gambling addicts and occasionally a young sports star with an escort on his arm and more money than sense.

It is simple. For European Roulette you place a red bet for x amount on one machine for the 1st wheel. Then the same x amount on a second machine for the same 1st wheel. Place ×/36 on zero to cover your loss. If zero comes in you break even, if red or black come in you lose the x/36 bet.

Or you could learn basic strategy for Blackjack, with has a mean casino edge of 0.5% over the long term. So by betting $500 every friday night for a year, you'd clear $26k, keeping $24.4k.

Then there is cash pocker, you sit down, pay the blinds for an hour, make an all un for the first pair you get. Buy in a again for a larger amount "to win your money back", sit for another hour paying the blinds, then cash out because "the cards are shit tonight"

On dice there is a 5/6ths chance you won't roll a 7, so you cover all the bets but 7. You win some and lose some, then cash out.

You could easily clear $100k a year, without it looking like you aren't just using recycled betting money. From one casino, from one person. The government is well aware of this too, they just like that sweet tax revenue from the black market too much.

Why do you need to use those gambling strategies if they don't care? Couldn't you just buy chips, go take a shit, have a drink, bang a hooker, then turn in your chips for cash and go home?

Who's actually watching the cameras looking for money launderers?

 

[HHJ]

Watch enough movies to know nothing good happens if you keep it.

Fuck that. You got one shot. Try to make it work. Even if you wind up only usin a quarter of it in your lifetime,its still better than not havin it

 

[terrapin]

That's the biggest red flag. Everyone knows life coaches are basically just unemployed people. Nobody actually uses them.

I don't know about that. The reason I brought that profession up is because I have known a few who make really good money doing it.

 

[MichiganMMA1978]

I would get my cat cloned with that kind of dough for sure.

Fucking genius

I'd be hunting with my buddy Mac again for sure... RIP

 

[THEfightsAREfixed]

Fucking genius

I'd be hunting with my buddy Mac again for sure... RIP

I’ve heard it’s like 100k in Japan or something

 

[MichiganMMA1978]

I would start a Lego business, like our fallen comrade @Danger Dave. Because everyone knows that's where the smart investment is at.