What is it like being married?

[The Hash Slinging Slasher]

100% correct ..

Happily married 17 years my good fellow, thought i had it all .. Detatched house nearly paid for, 2 cars, 2 kids .. Good neighbourhood..

Worked my fucking ass off for her.. Gave her my life and lived my life for her ..

The cunt betrayed me.. Fucking evil cunt betrayed me .. SHE TOLD THE COURTS AND CHILD AGENCY I WANTED TO MURDER MY OWN CHILDREN... YEAH IM SCORNED ..

On top of that she took the lot. . everything i had ..

Hey man, I’m sorry it happened that way for you. I really am. But that doesn’t mean that it’s going to be that way for everyone. On the flip side of that I recently witnessed a 65th wedding anniversary for my wife’s grandparents. I know that’s getting less common, but it’s what we all should hope for.

 

[Nimrod]

Hey man, I’m sorry it happened that way for you. I really am. But that doesn’t mean that it’s going to be that way for everyone. On the flip side of that I recently witnessed a 65th wedding anniversary for my wife’s grandparents. I know that’s getting less common, but it’s what we all should hope for.

You're right, it's not all bad.

But I've been burnt and my life was taken .. so I got shit under my cloud which I will workout one day .. when you see your angel turn demon theres nothing bringing you back from that.. nothing.

 

[Oliver Clothesoff]

You're right, it's not all bad.

But I've been burnt and my life was taken .. so I got shit under my cloud which I will workout one day .. when you see your angel turn demon theres nothing bringing you back from that.. nothing.

Wow. THAT is so fucked up what happend to you. My wife went a bit nuts a couple of years ago and got really insecure and jealous/possessive. Nearly destroyed us. I'll admit some of it was my fault, but mostly it was her freaking out because our kids grew up and are leaving the nest. At least that's my theory. We worked through it though and things are back to normal again,. But it was awful gong through it.

Question: In hindsight, do you think you could have done anything differently on your side to have stopped this from happening? Was she by any chance going through Menopause? Can you think of any reason WHY she changed so drastically?

 

[Nimrod]

Wow. THAT is so fucked up what happend to you. My wife went a bit nuts a couple of years ago and got really insecure and jealous/possessive. Nearly destroyed us. I'll admit some of it was my fault, but mostly it was her freaking out because our kids grew up and are leaving the nest. At least that's my theory. We worked through it though and things are back to normal again,. But it was awful gong through it.

Question: In hindsight, do you think you could have done anything differently on your side to have stopped this from happening or did she just all of a sudden go nuts and change into a vicious evil bitch? Was she by any chance going through Menopause? Can you think of any reason WHY she changed so drastically?

I don't think I could have done much more.. I did everything for her.
She cheated on me with someone 15 years younger.. I was done.
I have recently found out she's a covert narcissist, I had my suspicions throughout the years but you just get blinded by other stuff that's more important, in hindsight knowing the person your with is the most important lesson to learn .. but if your with someone thats extremely good at manipulation and wears a mask your fucked.

 

[Oliver Clothesoff]

I don't think I could have done much more.. I did everything for her.
She cheated on me with someone 15 years younger.. I was done.
I have recently found out she's a covert narcissist, I had my suspicions throughout the years but you just get blinded by other stuff that's more important, in hindsight knowing the person your with is the most important lesson to learn .. but if your with someone thats extremely good at manipulation and wears a mask your fucked.

I don't think I could forgive my wife cheating on me either. That would be such an epic breach of trust I think I'd be done too. I love my Wife and all, but I don't delude myself that our Marriage is bomb proof. I've seen her dark side and it's pretty fucking horrifying. Glad to hear you've been able to move on and are happy again. That's pretty inspirational.

 

[Nimrod]

I don't think I could forgive my wife cheating on me either. That would be such an epic breach of trust I think I'd be done too. I love my Wife and all, but I don't delude myself that our Marriage is bomb proof. I've seen her dark side and it's pretty fucking horrifying. Glad to hear you've been able to move on and are happy again. That's pretty inspirational.

It's been 3 years, I have been able to take the cheating, what I havnt been able to put behind me and has permanently damaged my psyche is being accused of wanting to murder my own children .. that cuts deep..

Yeah sleep safe brother.. with one eye open.

 

[Satsui Ryu]

Twice divorced. My taste in women + my business ventures = disaster... What did I get out of a combined 9 years of marriage? Two psycho ex's (the first one lives on a private island she bought with the proceeds from the divorce and my assets she was award that she couldn't liquidate fast enough), two sets of in-laws that hate me, two kids that hate me and cut ties, and a third who only talks to me because he doesn't have friends.

I have been casually dating every once in a while, but that's it. I refuse to be a financial hostage ever again.

Fucking christ man. This shit sounds like the plot of a movie.

Lol, why's there no happy medium here?

Every guy is either all: "It sucked, that's why I'm divorced now" or "It's a fairy tale" Interesting how there's no: "Meh, it's alright" Lol

Anyway, I think it depends on who you marry. I think there are some women who will go completely batshit crazy once they know they have you "locked down". I could only imagine how much of a hellion Jeff Bezos's wife was knowing her husband couldn't leave her without parting with billions of fuckin' dollars!!! Jeez

I think you're hard pressed to find somone admit they are in the middle as it implies they are not really happy, but sticking around anyway. Makes it look like they are either weak and can't find something better or they are using their spouse which makes them come if as a POS.

Marriage is definitely a YMMV kind of thing. It depends on who you marry as some people will never be successful in marriage and even good people can go bad depending on the circumstances they go through.

 

[Oliver Clothesoff]

It's been 3 years, I have been able to take the cheating, what I havnt been able to put behind me and has permanently damaged my psyche is being accused of wanting to murder my own children .. that cuts deep..

Yeah sleep safe brother.. with one eye open.

A friend of mine had his wife accuse him of molesting his kids and the Judge believed it and she got full custody. She took his kids and moved 3000 miles away with her new Boyfriend. Years later he uncovered her Diary (his daughter found it and mailed it to him) where she'd planned out the whole thing WITH the new Boyfriend....

Guess who STILL kept sole custody of the kids 3000 miles away? Yep. She did. It's a fucked up World to be sure. He said the only thing that saved him from jumping off a Bridge was that his KIDS believe him, and that they hate the new guy. I hope to God I never have to deal with the Courts.

 

[LHWBelt]

I love my wife and she's turning into a great mom (our boy is less than 2 weeks old). Its making me love her more.

 

[FyrFytr998]

Let me just go ask my wife how I feel about this....

First post nails it.

Seriously though, as in anything in life. It depends on how the day is going. Some days we are madly in love. Other days we hate each others guts.

 

[ralphc1]

Hey man, I’m sorry it happened that way for you. I really am. But that doesn’t mean that it’s going to be that way for everyone. On the flip side of that I recently witnessed a 65th wedding anniversary for my wife’s grandparents. I know that’s getting less common, but it’s what we all should hope for.

I've often thought about the people of my grandparents age who were born in the 1880 and 90s. They never got more than a few miles from home and met a limited number of people. My grandfather and his brother married sisters. Almost everybody in the areas they lived in were related through marriage. There was a very small pool of prospective spouses, yet people of that era, met, married and stayed married until one of them died. By 1920 8 in 1000 couples were divorced. Maybe because they had so much in common. There may have been a few murders but not divorces. It was still rare before 1950, especially in rural areas.

Today, almost 50% of marriages end in divorce. First marriage divorces have dropped from a high of about 40% around 1980 to a current rate of about 30%. Divorce rates from subsequent marriages are much higher keeping the overall rate near 50%.

 

[The Hash Slinging Slasher]

I've often thought about the people of my grandparents age who were born in the 1880 and 90s. They never got more than a few miles from home and met a limited number of people. My grandfather and his brother married sisters. Almost everybody in the areas they lived in were related through marriage. There was a very small pool of prospective spouses, yet people of that era, met, married and stayed married until one of them died. By 1920 8 in 1000 couples were divorced. Maybe because they had so much in common. There may have been a few murders but not divorces. It was still rare before 1950, especially in rural areas.

Today, almost 50% of marriages end in divorce. First marriage divorces have dropped from a high of about 40% around 1980 to a current rate of about 30%. Divorce rates from subsequent marriages are much higher keeping the overall rate near 50%.

I think that today there are a lot of reasons that make it harder than it was back then. There’s more options since you can connect with people online and we’re venturing farther in general, people have less respect for the institution of marriage, less respect for everything really. And also people are very much self-serving. If they don’t feel like they’re getting what they need, instead of working it out and compromising, they’ll jump off the wagon. I work with a guy who’s been divorced twice and he’s 27 years old. That’s crazy to me.

 

[Yuval Levy]

Married for more than a decade. Never been happier.

 

[Danger Dave]

Im trans robot. Waiting to create that perfect girl.

ima get so many weird emails and pms now.

as Marcus Phoenix once said "shit"

 

[Satsui Ryu]

I think that today there are a lot of reasons that make it harder than it was back then. There’s more options since you can connect with people online and we’re venturing farther in general, people have less respect for the institution of marriage, less respect for everything really. And also people are very much self-serving. If they don’t feel like they’re getting what they need, instead of working it out and compromising, they’ll jump off the wagon. I work with a guy who’s been divorced twice and he’s 27 years old. That’s crazy to me.

I don't think its necessarily because people are more self serving or something along those lines. I think before people just didn't really have a choice in the matter. Before divorce was more taboo and in the case of women they didn't really have many options to take care of themselves alone. People staying married did not necessarily mean they were happy. I think one reason among many of why people are more hesitant to get married or start families these days is because they grew up with parents who were miserable in their marriages or may have not wanted kids, but stuck with it simply because they had to. They saw all the results of that including how it impacted them as kids.

Now marriage is strictly based on attraction which over a long period of time can become very fleeting. This expectation of perpetual attraction is an extremely high standard to achieve.

 

[aldeniro78]

It's good for about six months and then you start getting a little tired of seeing each other but it's still not awful. Then gradually you start to get sick of each other's little tics and it isn't long before you're looking for reasons to not be home.

 

[blaseblah]

Fucking christ man. This shit sounds like the plot of a movie.


I think you're hard pressed to find somone admit they are in the middle as it implies they are not really happy, but sticking around anyway. Makes it look like they are either weak and can't find something better or they are using their spouse which makes them come if as a POS.

Marriage is definitely a YMMV kind of thing. It depends on who you marry as some people will never be successful in marriage and even good people can go bad depending on the circumstances they go through.

All these horror stories seem avoidable tbh.

1. Know the person you're with, in and out. Not just the side they present to you, but the side they present to their own family and friends. If she's a psycho, her friends absolutely know about it. Her family knows about it. Make these people your own friends so you get a well-rounded perspective of what your woman is really like. Don't get blinded by love.

2. Only be willing to settle down with someone who makes similar or more than you do. Don't marry a DNB. Seriously. Don't do it. There are too many fish in the sea, too many independent women with their own careers to play the role of someone's sugar daddy. You are rolling the die and gambling half your income away to promise your life to someone below your tax bracket.

 

[blaseblah]

To each their own, but in no way do I feel like the life I live with my wife is an “awful decision”. I think it’s the way it should be. We are one in all aspects of life. Talking about the way things are in today’s world isn’t exactly a good argument for why you should do something.

It's great now, I'm talking about having some foresight. Risking half your income to chance isn't the smartest decision.

You could've had an amazing wife without risking the possibility of losing half your income. Just saying.

 

[TankAbbott4Eva]

The sex is great, some day hopefully my wife will join in!

 

[Nimrod]

All these horror stories seem avoidable tbh.

1. Know the person you're with, in and out. Not just the side they present to you, but the side they present to their own family and friends. If she's a psycho, her friends absolutely know about it. Her family knows about it. Make these people your own friends so you get a well-rounded perspective of what your woman is really like. Don't get blinded by love.

2. Only be willing to settle down with someone who makes similar or more than you do. Don't marry a DNB. Seriously. Don't do it. There are too many fish in the sea, too many independent women with their own careers to play the role of someone's sugar daddy. You are rolling the die and gambling half your income away to promise your life to someone below your tax bracket.

That's easy to say.. but life ain't like that . Men mature slow.. I'm 47 and still act like a fucking kid .. the only way you learn is to go through it .. listen watch and experience life on your own terms..