Food & Drink What instantly ruins a hamburger?

[Kung Fu Kowboy]

Hate burgers that're so big you can't comfortably pick them up and get them in your gob hole.

Fuck I want a burger that I need a knife and fucking fork to eat it, served on a chopping board with chips in a basket. fuck off you uppity cunts

 

[gondo]

Too much sauce of any kind. It does not have to be dripping all over the place during every bite. I always assume the food itself must be gross if it has to be drown in sauce.

 

[lowlife]

I like all kinds of burgers. Ketchup, mayo, mustard, whatever man as long as the meat is good and the bun doesn't suck. I like thin burnt edges type patties like smash burgers, I like big juicy patties, and everything in between. For me the only thing that can fuck it up is an undercooked patty or weak ass bun.

 

[Sir Elzio Dennick]

Too expensive.

 

[ThaiSexPills]

I hate when the patty is just fat. If I make a burger at home, I use lean ground beef.

 

[Brom Bones]

Yellow mustard. Shit's vile. I can tolerate (dijon) to enjoy (honey mustard) other types of mustard, but straight yellow mustard has one note - sour and even reasonable amounts overpowers the other flavors and you're left with trash.

I know there's a lot of yellow mustard fans AKA slack-jawed s here, so COME AT ME, BRO!

 

[JoeBobbaLou2]

over cooked, and mayo

 

[scoopj]

A hair.

 

[Frank_Drebin]

Yellow mustard. Shit's vile. I can tolerate (dijon) to enjoy (honey mustard) other types of mustard, but straight yellow mustard has one note - sour and even reasonable amounts overpowers the other flavors and you're left with trash.

I know there's a lot of yellow mustard fans AKA slack-jawed s here, so COME AT ME, BRO!

agreed. i love honey mustard but regular mustard is nasty. overpowers and generally disgusting.

COME AT US, BRO!

 

[Streeter]

Pickles on burgers I never could stand. I like pickles on hot chicken sandwiches never burgers.

 

[TankAbbott4Eva]

In Australia beetroot and pineapple is common on burgers, I say they should GTFO out of any burger.

 

[Intermission]

I have two major gripes:

1. Overcooked, dry patty. A burger’s soul is its meat. Overcooking it into a hockey puck? Instant heartbreak.

2. Soggy bun. A once-golden, fluffy bun soaked in ketchup, mustard, or grease is a dealbreaker.

Bill Wallace says it's hard to ruin a hamburger. That¨s why he loves eating them everywhere.

 

[Sweater of AV]

 

[Neck&Neck]

Tomato

 

[Sakuraba is #1]

 

[Thrawn33]

I have two major gripes:

1. Overcooked, dry patty. A burger’s soul is its meat. Overcooking it into a hockey puck? Instant heartbreak.

2. Soggy bun. A once-golden, fluffy bun soaked in ketchup, mustard, or grease is a dealbreaker.

Nailed it.

I like some juice in my burgers so the bun needs a crisping to hold up. A bottom bun that turns into paste is fucking disgusting.

 

[Noveltymortar]

Poison, especially if there's a lot of it.

 

[Otto!]

Ketchup

 

[HereticBD]

Other than the obvious(over/under cooked, and toppings you don't agree with), I'd say a weak bun that can't handle the juices. You must toast the bun to perfection, or else you will wind up with a spongey sloppy mess, like a leftover sub with oil dressing.

 

[WhiteMousse]

The best way to make a burger:

Get 80/20 ground beef
Get an iron skillet
Get it as hot as you can, preferably on the grill
Divide the beef into 2.5 ounce patties shaped like hockey pucks.
When you're ready to cook, salt the top side of the puck, and put that fucker face down on the skillet.
Use steel spatulas, two of them. Put one on the patty and smash it using the other one. Flatten it out so it's as thin as can be without it falling apart.
30 seconds. During that 30 seconds lightly salt the other side, then flip.
30 more seconds.

That's it. You're welcome.