Edit : see this is a example of sherdog forum therapy. Which basically you did by typing things out and sharing. Forgoten tomorrow.
No your mom is a good person and loves you. She is also right to teach you about God and the holly Bible. It´s a fact - love and serve your parents. One day we won´t have them anymore. They love us more than anyone. Noone wants good things for you like your mom or dad. Noone. If you are sick they suffer. They think about you every day. You came out of their body. You are a part of them. They can´t sleep if you are hurt.
My mom never did temper tantrums in public or embarass me. Only told us and other kids in a awful foreigner accent "schön zusammen spielen" " play together nicely". Jesus her accent speaking German was so bad and cliche. I flashback hear it now. Never forget it. Now I respect that she can speak okaish German. Even picked up a bit spanish from her work friends. I mean she is from Croatia Bosnia Jugoslavia. Croatian, used to be jugoslavia, now we are part of Bosnia, same city, different borders, new countries. Bosnia is new. She only worked in Germany in her 20ies. Out of poverty LOL. Our bros the Germans let our people and the greeks and italians and turks come to make some cash and help them spice the economy up. She was like 23 years there. Also took us away from war. Our city was safe but it´s obviously a risk. My friends mom died to a bomb, RIP. But in a different city 1 hour away. We are all Croatian on the Croatian border. We did go out to fight a lot. But it wasn´t on our teritory. People are crazy and still celebrate war heroes and events, dates every year, 30 years later. Biggest concert in Croatian History still is now Thompson (named after the gun) who was a general or soldier and half his songs are about war. People in Germany used to aks me why I am so nationalistic. Took me a few years to balance myself out and not be a "proud Croatian". I grew up more in Herzegovina ( Lower part of Bosnia, neighbouring Croatia on the west). Lol I just checked Marko Thompson last concert in the Capital had 504 000 visitors. We are literaly a country of 4 milion. We are brothers. Croatians. Rest can suck my dick if you don´t like it. Albanians are that way too, mentality wise.
However she apsolutely did panic at times and get rage and stress. From a small age. I mean in my home country was a war going on and she was alone with me and my brother, we were 3 and 6, and was going to work full time, working also extra. We have family in Germany but still. To this day the reason I always have problems being on time is cause I had since the age of like 7 to set my own alarm and walk to school myself. I got a letter that I came too late 50 times to school one year. I went to my first day at school alone and my mom was proud. Over this Pforzheim weird big bridge I randomly sometimes see in my dreams, it´s soo high and underneath it is water. That´s it I need to go back. I need to go back to Pforzheim. Family asking for me too. That´s family from my dads late half brother Ilia. Actually lol same name as dick head Topuria. Ilia. Are they Iliryans or something. Run into my old clique from elementary school. See those places we hung. The school. That one playground. That one penny markt. I literaly wanna walk around there. Imagine I find my old best friends house and ring. I randomly run into Cem and Edgar and Benny. I wonder what Andy is doin, he was pretty nuts.
And she did beat me. Cause that´s what you did to bad kids back than. If I was bad. Sometimes. Like when I was 2 years old and protested my grandma holding me. Good reason for some green branch whips. Pretty psycho actually but my mom is the best. I mean she never injured me. Literaly only thin green branch to the legs or arms. No marks no nothing. Slapped me once when I was a teen, cause she told me to not touch the "Window roller shutters" (I googled this word) and I did and she gave me a slap in front of my friend. And I used to fight my brother non stop when she was at work. He was getting bullied in school, probably was always very provocing verbaly and the city we were at as kids is 50% immigrants, yeah if he was 6 means he went to school without speaking German LOL. I actually still wanna punch that one bitch in her mouth who bullied my brother in front of me. I mean a female. And phisically atacked him. What a whore. If one day I for whatever reason figure who it was and happen to be back in my old city and see her, maybe I would enjoy giving her a little fist. Bitch.
Than in Herzegovina we would play "war" with our neighbour kids and basically each group takes a side in this game and we throw rocks at each other. Marko hit his sister in the head on accident with a rock. I inituitively took the blame "Did I hit her" he was like "yes you". Probably good guy instincts. Than the next times I walked pass their house their grandma let me have it verbaly lol.
Like the last time I was home, at my neighbours house, one of their brothers suddenly brings up how I threw his brother over his head. We were like 12. In front of his mom. Like sorry I was a idiot in that moment 26 years ago.
My dad was always very kind or call it quiet. Not a lot of effort. But he did make sure to slap me 3 times when I failed at school and wasn´t accepted into the good high school. I was not once mad at my mom hitting me a bit but I hated my dad when he did that. He said "because of you I don´t have my peace". I was so angry. So this is about your peace, like you never helped me study.
All in all this shit is nothing. We all had a great life. Me you and everyone like that. Other people wished they had it that easy. Other people were hungry. My dad didn´t have a dad, died when he was 4 months, rest in peace to my grandad.
So see, this is how you do therapy. You just tell sherdog parts of you history. Or your best friend irl and you all laugh at it and joke. Like how my best friend was supposed to get shot dead in war, they grouped people from his village up, in Kosovo, and told the youngest ones to leave. The others were killed. Including his uncle. And we still don´t cry. He sure cried a lot as a kid. I was a notorious crier XD. But only at home. Maybe teenager hormones or something. Mix of rage and cry. Only once in school. Actually twice. Over getting bad grades. Jesus that´s so feminine to cry over grades.
We are blessed and happy. You didn´t starve did you. Go pay your therapist for his highly sufisticated advice and expertise. Or talk to your friends.
This is pathetic talk. Nobody in Bosnia cries bout these kids stories. If someone dies of course. Also if you have depression or whatever problems. But "hey hey my mom once beat me" ok here´s your medal, the woman was stressed and perhaps learnt that that is how you treat childreen. By her parents. That´s just what people used to do.
Edit : Don´t get me wrong my parents are great people. Awesome parents. I just brought up whatever would be like similar to his therapy session topics. Whatever was a little more unfun about growing up for me. Throwing stones was fun lol she got hit in the head not me. Just thin´gs around this "trauma / parents / childhood" topic. My dad was one of the most quiet non violent dads I have ever seen. Would never consider a fight. Didn´t hit us. Let us be rude to him. Let us do stuff. No rules. Took us to the beach and anywhere when we were kids. Basically I became some idiot teenager. Than again I wasn´t a bad kid either. Noone complained about me.
My advice is go as much as possible to your therapist so she can have your money. Clearly you got symptomps like ? If you don´t she still shall find something to keep you engaged.
