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So I am curious how this has changed based on time/generation and location/culture.
As such I will leave a few prompt questions
1- What age were you when you stopped living with your parents/family?
(For the sake of clarity let's define this as you moved out such that your primary residence was not your parents address AND either permanently continued living on your own (or with roommates)
.. lets say it is OK/counts if you moved back in at your parents at some point, but just living in a dorm then coming back to your family house doesn't count.
1b- Did you ever move back in with your parents?
2- What was the major deciding factor in your move?
(Ie, did your parents kick you out? You got married?
Moved to college but Lived there year round
_______________________________________
Edit:::
Just want to clarify that there is no judgement from me if anyone ever needed or received some help. Life is tough and finances can be very difficult to manage in this world, particularly if compounded by injury, illness or other similar of life's little surprises.
My in laws have helped me and my wife out on 2 occasions for which I am eternally grateful, first when we bought our first house, as we were moving from LA back to NJ they let us stay with them while we looked for a house and got set up with jobs, and again several years later we ran into tight finances due getting railroaded by a fucked up lawsuit situation and we (with 2 dogs and 2 young kids) moved in with them again and rented out our house for 2 years to get our finances in order.
______________________________
Bonus details:
What year did you move out?
What was your rent? (your share if you had roommates)
If you have kids, would you want the same for them or different?
Have you ever been "homeless" or some slight variant thereof, such as couchsurfing?
If you were forced out by your parents, looking back do you think it was for the best?
Do you resent being kicked out or coerced out?
If your parents kicked you out, do you feel like it was fair or reasonable?
My answers
||
V
As such I will leave a few prompt questions
1- What age were you when you stopped living with your parents/family?
(For the sake of clarity let's define this as you moved out such that your primary residence was not your parents address AND either permanently continued living on your own (or with roommates)
.. lets say it is OK/counts if you moved back in at your parents at some point, but just living in a dorm then coming back to your family house doesn't count.
1b- Did you ever move back in with your parents?
2- What was the major deciding factor in your move?
(Ie, did your parents kick you out? You got married?
Moved to college but Lived there year round
_______________________________________
Edit:::
Just want to clarify that there is no judgement from me if anyone ever needed or received some help. Life is tough and finances can be very difficult to manage in this world, particularly if compounded by injury, illness or other similar of life's little surprises.
My in laws have helped me and my wife out on 2 occasions for which I am eternally grateful, first when we bought our first house, as we were moving from LA back to NJ they let us stay with them while we looked for a house and got set up with jobs, and again several years later we ran into tight finances due getting railroaded by a fucked up lawsuit situation and we (with 2 dogs and 2 young kids) moved in with them again and rented out our house for 2 years to get our finances in order.
______________________________
Bonus details:
What year did you move out?
What was your rent? (your share if you had roommates)
If you have kids, would you want the same for them or different?
Have you ever been "homeless" or some slight variant thereof, such as couchsurfing?
If you were forced out by your parents, looking back do you think it was for the best?
Do you resent being kicked out or coerced out?
If your parents kicked you out, do you feel like it was fair or reasonable?
My answers
||
V
1- What age were you when you stopped living with your parents/family?
I was 18 in 1997 when I moved out to go to Lacrosse summer preseason at Hofstra, but never lived with my parents again after that. The longest I have ever stayed with them since then is 3 days, following a major shoulder surgery.
I did not realize when I left at 18, the summer after my senior year in HS that I was moving out for good.
I pledged a fraternity my 2nd semester, and the intense schedule and sleep deprivation made it tough for me academically. As I had to maintain an overall 2.5 GPA to keep my scholarship (academic scholarship that the lacrosse coach secured for me, which was awesome because I kept that scholarship even though I only played Lax the fall season freshman year.)
To keep my GPA up, I withdrew from all but one class that semester.
Somehow I managed to get a C in calculus.
When my grades came in my parents kicked me out and told me I had to go to summer school on my own dime to make up the 4 classes I dropped. I took the maximum allowable amount of credits which was 2 condensed classes in each of the 2 summer sessions, totaling 12 credits, leveling me back to where I would have been without withdrawing. I had full time classes, 8 hours a day m-f 8-12 + 1-5 and I had to take a full time job. I managed straight A's somehow, it definitely helped that I took easy classes like human sexuality,.abnormal psychology which I was interested in and 2 language classes, I think it was Japanese and Italian.
I was given the boot that night with the money I had in my pocket, which was $20.
I had no job because I was expecting to be living at home in a different state than my college, so I took what I could get, which was school security for minimum wage... but i used that job to steal food and that is how I fed myself. I would keep tabs on school meetings, clubs and catered events and pack up the leftovers.
1b- Did you ever move back in with your parents? Nope..
2- What was the major deciding factor in your move?
Punishment for dropping classes
Bonus details:
What year did you move out? 1997
What was your rent? (your share if you had roommates)
That summer was one of 2 times I was borderline homeless.
At first I lived on an air mattress on the kitchen floor of an apartment in the GHETTO
By August I upgraded to a couch in the garage of the frat house.
Somehow I got laid all summer and would use that as an opportunity to live in the relative luxury of a girls nice clean bed with sheets. I had 3 chicks which I had recurring things going with. One catholic school chick who was also a freshman who lived nearby with her family but invited me over if her parents went away, hs sweetheart who was down for public shit like car sex, school playgrounds, Central Park.... good times, and an Asian chick who everyone thought was a nerd math genius type but was a actually a goddamn FREAK nympho
First apartments I paid for my share was $400/month
If you have kids, would you want the same for them or different?
Nope. The cost of living is so fucking out-of control now.and as I have daughters I would rather they live with me and be safe than live-in the seriously dangerous neighborhoods I had to live in with gang activity and gunshots and shit. One place I lived in the next door neighbors house got hit with 14 gunshots from a drive by on the first weekend of a 1 year lease. My lady, understandably did not like to come visit me there
My HOPE is thay I can raise my.girls to eventually be self sufficient,.but I would be more than happy to help them out for a few years while they save up money and pursue their careers. If things go perfectly to plan, which I highly doubt they will, we have a guest house 1bedroom apartment that one of them could rent to have morenindepwnxence and get used to living one their own and paying some rent (I would charged them WAY under market value, hopefully helping them to save for a down payment if they are seeking to own a home.
Have you ever been "homeless" or some slight variant thereof, such as couchsurfing?
yup. 2x. The summer i lived onnthe airmattress then the gsrage and a few years later i wound uo bsck innthe garage, sometimes sleeping in my car or sneaking into the practice rooms in college music department.
If you were forced out by your parents, looking back do you think it was for the best?
100% absolutely. It was the right thing, I deserved to be kicked out and I learned SO MUCH about myself and about life, learned how to be resourceful, gained major insight and appreciation for when things are good. Also very much learned what is I portent and what is not. Somehow being somewhat homeless and dead broke I still had one of the best summers of my life.
Do you resent being kicked out or coerced out? Nope. Fair play
If your parents kicked you out, do you feel like it was fair or reasonable?
Yup. I appreciate that they forced me to take responsibility for my actions, thay they DIDN'T bail me out and didn't therefore teach me I could fuck up and get away with it. It was a TOUGH lesson, but maybe the most valuable lesson I ever learned.
My mom cried when she saw how I was living and it all sunk in for her but even then I wasn't mad at them
I was 18 in 1997 when I moved out to go to Lacrosse summer preseason at Hofstra, but never lived with my parents again after that. The longest I have ever stayed with them since then is 3 days, following a major shoulder surgery.
I did not realize when I left at 18, the summer after my senior year in HS that I was moving out for good.
I pledged a fraternity my 2nd semester, and the intense schedule and sleep deprivation made it tough for me academically. As I had to maintain an overall 2.5 GPA to keep my scholarship (academic scholarship that the lacrosse coach secured for me, which was awesome because I kept that scholarship even though I only played Lax the fall season freshman year.)
To keep my GPA up, I withdrew from all but one class that semester.
Somehow I managed to get a C in calculus.
When my grades came in my parents kicked me out and told me I had to go to summer school on my own dime to make up the 4 classes I dropped. I took the maximum allowable amount of credits which was 2 condensed classes in each of the 2 summer sessions, totaling 12 credits, leveling me back to where I would have been without withdrawing. I had full time classes, 8 hours a day m-f 8-12 + 1-5 and I had to take a full time job. I managed straight A's somehow, it definitely helped that I took easy classes like human sexuality,.abnormal psychology which I was interested in and 2 language classes, I think it was Japanese and Italian.
I was given the boot that night with the money I had in my pocket, which was $20.
I had no job because I was expecting to be living at home in a different state than my college, so I took what I could get, which was school security for minimum wage... but i used that job to steal food and that is how I fed myself. I would keep tabs on school meetings, clubs and catered events and pack up the leftovers.
1b- Did you ever move back in with your parents? Nope..
2- What was the major deciding factor in your move?
Punishment for dropping classes
Bonus details:
What year did you move out? 1997
What was your rent? (your share if you had roommates)
That summer was one of 2 times I was borderline homeless.
At first I lived on an air mattress on the kitchen floor of an apartment in the GHETTO
By August I upgraded to a couch in the garage of the frat house.
Somehow I got laid all summer and would use that as an opportunity to live in the relative luxury of a girls nice clean bed with sheets. I had 3 chicks which I had recurring things going with. One catholic school chick who was also a freshman who lived nearby with her family but invited me over if her parents went away, hs sweetheart who was down for public shit like car sex, school playgrounds, Central Park.... good times, and an Asian chick who everyone thought was a nerd math genius type but was a actually a goddamn FREAK nympho
First apartments I paid for my share was $400/month
If you have kids, would you want the same for them or different?
Nope. The cost of living is so fucking out-of control now.and as I have daughters I would rather they live with me and be safe than live-in the seriously dangerous neighborhoods I had to live in with gang activity and gunshots and shit. One place I lived in the next door neighbors house got hit with 14 gunshots from a drive by on the first weekend of a 1 year lease. My lady, understandably did not like to come visit me there
My HOPE is thay I can raise my.girls to eventually be self sufficient,.but I would be more than happy to help them out for a few years while they save up money and pursue their careers. If things go perfectly to plan, which I highly doubt they will, we have a guest house 1bedroom apartment that one of them could rent to have morenindepwnxence and get used to living one their own and paying some rent (I would charged them WAY under market value, hopefully helping them to save for a down payment if they are seeking to own a home.
Have you ever been "homeless" or some slight variant thereof, such as couchsurfing?
yup. 2x. The summer i lived onnthe airmattress then the gsrage and a few years later i wound uo bsck innthe garage, sometimes sleeping in my car or sneaking into the practice rooms in college music department.
If you were forced out by your parents, looking back do you think it was for the best?
100% absolutely. It was the right thing, I deserved to be kicked out and I learned SO MUCH about myself and about life, learned how to be resourceful, gained major insight and appreciation for when things are good. Also very much learned what is I portent and what is not. Somehow being somewhat homeless and dead broke I still had one of the best summers of my life.
Do you resent being kicked out or coerced out? Nope. Fair play
If your parents kicked you out, do you feel like it was fair or reasonable?
Yup. I appreciate that they forced me to take responsibility for my actions, thay they DIDN'T bail me out and didn't therefore teach me I could fuck up and get away with it. It was a TOUGH lesson, but maybe the most valuable lesson I ever learned.
My mom cried when she saw how I was living and it all sunk in for her but even then I wasn't mad at them
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