We need cards for mediocre fathers

[Fedorgasm]

I think I'll start a greeting card company for people like me, who have fathers that weren't great, but they're not bad enough that you wouldn't get them a card at all.

The ones I'm looking at right now all say thanks for being a great dad, or thanks for your sacrifices, or I love you... None of those even come close to how I feel.

I wish one would just say "fuck you" and then you'd open the card and the inside would say, "but fuck you slightly less today. Happy fathers day."

 

[Pliny Pete]

Just appreciate the fact that you had a dad who wanted to be in your life

 

[Uptown Swinger]

My wife has the same problem with her piece of shit mother. Hard time finding a card for that pos on mother's day.

 

[Uptown Swinger]

Just appreciate the fact that you had a dad who wanted to be in your life

You sound poor.

 

[That209]

Imagine giving a feel better soon card to someone with Down syndrome. Or being in an elevator with one and saying ‘going down’?

 

[Cheese]

target just pulled down Baby Daddy cards.

 

[revoltub]

Hey dad,

Thanks for leaving me here with my crazy mom,

Love, Son

 

[Law Talkin’ Guy]

My wife had this problem with her Dad. He was a drunk and her parents split up when she was 9 years old. Only in the last two years of his life did he make a real effort to clean himself up, only to unexpectedly die of a heart attack when my wife was 6 months pregnant with our first kid.

 

[is normal]

Just appreciate the fact that you had a dad who wanted to be in your life

Wanted is a strong word.

 

[Pliny Pete]

You sound poor.

Least I dont gotta hide my credit card receipts from my wife you pussy
Oh no shes gonna find out I was at a hotel and ordered porn, Im in such big trouble

 

[Mike]

Need to make a blank one for all the dudes who's fathers died or just bounced. Every fathers day I'm like oh yeah, most people had dads. Interesting.

 

[Malvo]

Least I dont gotta hide my credit card receipts from my wife you pussy
Oh no shes gonna find out I was at a hotel and ordered porn, Im in such big trouble

 

[mb23100]

Yeah some shit like "thanks for the blue eyes and the solid hairline. Wish you wouldn't of murdered mom though. Hope you're not getting raped too much in prison."

Love your son

 

[Jack Reacheround]

I often think the same thing around Mother’s Day. I wish there was a card that said “remember that time you threw a metal folding chair at me on Christmas? Happy mother’s day.”

Or one that says “Mom. Do you remember when I broke two bones in my wrist? After a month, I had the cast removed. And you were there...to yell at me and then slam my wrist on your knee in your attempt to break it again. Happy mother’s day.”

Spoiler

My Mom did both of those things to me

 

[SSgt Dickweed]

I think I'll start a greeting card company for people like me, who have fathers that weren't great, but they're not bad enough that you wouldn't get them a card at all.

The ones I'm looking at right now all say thanks for being a great dad, or thanks for your sacrifices, or I love you... None of those even come close to how I feel.

I wish one would just say "fuck you" and then you'd open the card and the inside would say, "but fuck you slightly less today. Happy fathers day."

Yeah, and put Maury Povich's face on the card.

 

[Cubo de Sangre]

I think I'll start a greeting card company for people like me, who have fathers that weren't great, but they're not bad enough that you wouldn't get them a card at all.

You could send the right message and maybe save a buck by purchasing an out-of-season Mother's Day card?

 

[Vergilius]

"Dear dad, thanks for being an interesting person and getting me excited about all sorts of things in our world. Less sincere thanks for all the put downs and random outbursts of rage that made our house a bit like standing in an open field with a lightning storm brewing. Also, did we have to be in debt all the time? When the debt collectors came and you left so I had to deal with them it was pretty horrible. Then again, hey, at least it's given me a certain drive. And you are great with your grandkids. Love, in spite of everything, Vergilius"

 

[spin]

They have cards without writing.

 

[UKBBC]

When I was in Baltimore, I cracked up seeing cards with messages like
“You’re almost like my real Father”

Then I realised one of the most important business spin-offs from Johns Hopkins was the commercial DNA paternity test

 

[lsa]

My wife had this problem with her Dad. He was a drunk and her parents split up when she was 9 years old. Only in the last two years of his life did he make a real effort to clean himself up, only to unexpectedly die of a heart attack when my wife was 6 months pregnant with our first kid.

is this why you became a divorce lawyer?