Vikings are the GOAT

[JadeOwl]

Yeah, it only took them a century or so and around 50,000 casualties to figure it out. Or to quote the great author George MacDonald Fraser,

"The Romans view on Scotland was: too hot to handle, and not worth the trouble anyway".

A century? By my count it was only 29 years between Agricola kicking their teeth out from the inside (AD 83) and the Romans beginning construction on Hadrian's Wall (AD 112).

And those casualty numbers also sound mighty exaggerated to me. 50,000? That's more men than the entire Roman garrison in Britannia at any given time.

 

[JadeOwl]

I find it abit funny to claim one tribe as one's "ancestors"...

It was confirmed by a DNA test I had done - until then, I'd never even heard of the Maetae. I carry a very rare genetic marker that is not found outside Scotland.

If I ever had one of those done I would probably have a leg up on everybody in this forum. My father is from Sicily. That means I probably have ancestors from all over the place. Almost every nation that wetted their feet in the Mediterranean wetted something else in Sicily.

 

[KnightTemplar]

A century? By my count it was only 29 years between Agricola kicking their teeth out from the inside (AD 83) and the Romans beginning construction on Hadrian's Wall (AD 112).

And those casualty numbers also sound mighty exaggerated to me. 50,000? That's more men than the entire Roman garrison in Britannia at any given time.

There were still Roman soldiers stationed in Scotland during and even after the construction of the Walls. And the Walls themselves were subject to attack on numerous occasions. As for the 50,000, that's the figure historians believe is a rough guesstimate. It's difficult to be entirely accurate: the Picts left no written record, and the Romans didn't tend to write about their defeats.

However, the invasion of Scotland by Emperor Severous in 208 is well recorded. He invaded with the single largest force ever to land in the British Isles: around 40,000. He was determined to finally conquer the northern barbarians. Four years later, he had lost around 10% of his forces to guerrilla warfare and disease, without winning a single major battle. Dying, he bribed several tribal leaders to bend the knee to him. He had coins minted to commemorate his, "victory" and returned to Northern England. Of course, as soon as he did so, the Picts etc started raiding into England again.

On his deathbed, Severous commanded his son, the new Emperor, to take the Legions north again and slaughter every man, woman and child in Scotland. His son, however, had campaigned in Scotland alongside his father, and had no intention of going anywhere near the place again. As soon as the old bastard kicked the bucket, he fucked off home to Pasta-Land.

 

[KnightTemplar]

If I ever had one of those done I would probably have a leg up on everybody in this forum. My father is from Sicily. That means I probably have ancestors from all over the place. Almost every nation that wetted their feet in the Mediterranean wetted something else in Sicily.

The two major companies in the field are 23AndMe and FamilyTreeDNA. Testing ranges from relatively cheap to several thousand dollars.

 

[KBE6EKCTAH_CCP]

If I ever had one of those done I would probably have a leg up on everybody in this forum. My father is from Sicily. That means I probably have ancestors from all over the place. Almost every nation that wetted their feet in the Mediterranean wetted something else in Sicily.

Yeah, Sicily is pretty varied, but seriously most areas of Europe are a complete mess.

 

[DoomPatrol]

1 yes they were, regardless or relevancy https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_in_the_militaries_of_ancient_Greece

2 yes technically they were, all persians were slaves, owned by the God king. Not really relevant tho. They also relied heavily on archery, a sensible, pussies weapon. Vikings fought smart, that's not a negative.

3 Vikings were tall at 5'7" for the era, people were considerably shorter.

4 again fighting smart is not a negative, winning is what counts. They fought pitched battles, even sieges. They didn't have the numbers to waste.

5 I don't think armour/technology is relevant.

6 Vikings practiced warfare as well, they were at times a military. I think that individualism is more hardcore than formation fighting anyway.

7 reports of facing such warriors suggests otherwise.

8 that makes their accomplishments more impressive, natural badass vs science experiment.

9 the third time you've used the same arguement. Using tactics is not a sign of weakness.

If winning is what counts, then what the fuck did the Vikings ever win that was worth a shit? The only reason everyone left them alone up north is because they were the only people stupid enough to live in that cold ass region. Everyone else had great territory.

 

[STEVEN SEAGOLD]

If winning is what counts, then what the fuck did the Vikings ever win that was worth a shit? The only reason everyone left them alone up north is because they were the only people stupid enough to live in that cold ass region. Everyone else had great territory.

Trash talking scrub!

 

[DoomPatrol]

Trash talking scrub!

Just being curious. They best they could pull off from what I know is robbing poor people with no real wealth. Real big accomplishment..... not.

The Vikings are the gas station robbers of their era. They were a bunch of overrated crackheads that preyed on the weak. Anytime they went head to head with the baddest of Europe, they got smashed.

 

[Mr Mojo Lane]

Average Viking.

Average Mediterranean/Roman/Spartan/Greek

So the Vikings didn't test for PEDs back in the day?

 

[Phlog]

If winning is what counts, then what the fuck did the Vikings ever win that was worth a shit? The only reason everyone left them alone up north is because they were the only people stupid enough to live in that cold ass region. Everyone else had great territory.

Ownership of France, Britain and Russia....

 

[Crimson Glory]

WHat I've always wondered was... Norwegians, Swedes and Danes(Fins are a little different culturally) of the modern day don't make me think of badass warriors...

In Norway any sport with head contact(like Boxing or MMA) is banned by the King and in Sweden Feminism has taken over and while they're lots of still manly looking dudes from these countries, the attitudes seem too have made them weak and passive.

I have alot of respect for these countries, they've kept Metal alive and have some of the best bands... but what the hell happened? Why aren't they the badasses they were 1000-600 years ago?

I guess Christianity pussified them... or were Vikings ever really that great?

 

[Crimson Glory]

¨
Nah, i can literally rape 75% of Scandinavian male population. Scandinavians got thin bones and high estrogen. I mean look at Sweden.

If we talking about genetics when it comes to fighting then Africans, Slavs, Native Americans (and their modern ancestors) and Caucasians... are all more genetically giftet than Westerners.

With that said i am talking about average. I know they are exceptions and some genetically freaks in Scandinavia and the West.

When you say Cuacasians, who are you referring too?

You do also realize you're being very racist by saying this crap right?

 

[STEVEN SEAGOLD]

When you say Cuacasians, who are you referring too?

You do also realize you're being very racist by saying this crap right?

By Caucasians he is the referring to the people of the Caucasus region(Russia provinces like Dagestan)Armenia, Azerbaijan, Georgia etc...

I'm not sure if Caucasians is the right word because that's commonly used as a whole race... similar to Caucasoid in scientific terms.

 

[STEVEN SEAGOLD]

Caucasus region is known for being great at wrestling.

I'm not sure what the genetic lineage of the region looks like.. In general terms I think an admixture of Russian, Turkic, Mongoloid, Middle Eastern influence.

 

[Crimson Glory]

By Caucasians he is the referring to the people of the Caucasus region(Russia provinces like Dagestan)Armenia, Azerbaijan, Georgia etc...

I'm not sure if Caucasians is the right word because that's commonly used as a whole race... similar to Caucasoid in scientific terms.

That's what I thought, as in Khabib and the like.

Whenever I hear some refer too all white people as "Caucasian" I think, "is that really what we are? We're not from there.

 

[Rusk]

You do also realize you're being very racist by saying this crap right?

 

[Crimson Glory]

Exposed as an unapologetic racist.

You should be proud.

 

[STEVEN SEAGOLD]

The Nordic is the largest of them all. Dwarfs the rest.

 

[SweetDaddySiki]

Keep in mind the vikings only expanded because the economic collapse precipitated by the muslim conquest of the middle east and north africa left europe without much central authority. They werent bigger..the vikings simply ate better because thier lands weren't overpopulated. (The skeletons of romans in the first century BC before Italy grew overpopulated were actually larger than the germans of same period due to a superior diet). They weren't super warriors..they had the advantages of mobility and were mostly interested in plundering. Once the Vikings actually did settle down in the lands they took, they did not last long. The Celts reconquered ireland and the Anglo-Saxons reconquered England and forced the Vikings to bend knee.

The Norse were scared shitless of Charlemagne, so much so that one viking chieftain was killed in a mutiny by his own troops because he wanted to press raids against the franks. The Danes build a freakin' wall across the penninsula to keep him out.

 

[STEVEN SEAGOLD]

Behold! The legendary Nordic giant Ricky Bruch.



6 ft 6. 310. Viking.