Uncle Handle's guide to wealth and prosperity

Jack Handy jr

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Firstly anyone of average income can create wealth if you follow my rules.

Now let's define. By average I mean you earn 40K or more per year.

The very first thing you must do is buy a small yet stylish reliable car no escalades no expensive car you can't afford.

Dating when trying to accrue wealth you should only date single moms that work and that receive generous child support reason being she won't really have time to go on proper dates which saves you money.

You get to stop by late after kids are sleep to "watch a movie"

Investments...all your investments should be high risk high, high reward playing it safe is a waste of time.

Get jacked and tanned. One of the master strokes of life is being a guy from the lower or working middle class that can "marry up"

If possible move to an area where you're more likely to meet a chick going to school on daddy's fortune

Even if she's very fat or ugly in my expert opinion you should wife her or get with an unattractive rich chick like tori spelling or Oprah

Thoughts

.
 
Last edited:
I sprayed myself with a garden hose yesterday on purpose.
 
Last night I dreamed @Clippy was spraying me with a garden hose and when I woke up my bed was all wet
 
You sound...

Like a guy that ain't messin with no broke bitches.
 
Your clothes

Like the way they feel

3490859E00000578-3604744-The_sound_and_lighting_technician_described_his_human_pup_lifest-m-11_1464091165874.jpg
 
Ok, now you two are just making everyone uncomfortable
 
if you want wealth, don't have anything to do with bitches.
 
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