The correct technique is to have your hands on the crown of the head to maximize your leverage. The points of your elbows should be around the collarbone and are used to frame, and as the fulcrum to lever the head down/swing your opponent.
Your slightly misinterpreting knees too. The idea isn't to stand square, set, then throw a knee, obviously it will get snapped up. The idea is to swing your opponent off balance and down, then throw the knee.
I don't think anybody is advising using MT clinch INSTED of wrestling, but outside of a pure grappling context, I think it's essential.
You say you've grappled with mma guys, perhaps you should step in on some MT clinch work? It might help you understand a little clearer what some people are describing.