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Tell me how to be you in just a few sentences

Act like an alien that isn't very good at pretending to be human.
 
you only have about 20 seconds to tell this shape-shifter how to act like you.

Go!
I'd tell them this

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I forget their breeds now, but the ones I currently have are just basic mix breeds. One is grey and brown, the other white with little bits of grey (I call her “cloudy with a chance of rain” lol). They were being sold as meat rabbits so they’re nothing fancy. I’ll dig up some photos here just a sec.

I remembered that I don't know shit about rabbit types after I wrote that post. This is despite working in a store in my teens that sold them. I basically bucket them into rabbits that live outside behind me, normal rabbits, lop-eared rabbits and Flemish giants.

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That’s Miami.

The brown one is Malibu

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I deem them the breed of "cute rabbits"
 
Let's say aliens land and recruit you to go on a mission to save the universe. Nobody can know about it and you'll be gone for 6 months. You must leave immediately.

To keep anyone from getting suspicious, this shape-shifting alien will take your place on earth. He'll look exactly like you. But they're escorting you to the ship right now so you only have about 20 seconds to tell this shape-shifter how to act like you.

Go!
Just stay inside and don't mingle with people. Get everything you need delivered. Nobody will suspect that anything is up, even after 6 months. Make sure all the bills and taxes are paid of course. If anyone calls, decline politiely any invitations to go anywhere or do anything. Wouldn't be the first time. It won't arouse suspicion, believe me.
 
Wear only underwear, be anti social, play too many games, eat tendies
 
Carry the honor of your father, and his father before him. Stay vigilant, sharp cutting through and not blindly slashing. Always finish your milk.
 
Fart freely and often. Answer every question with I don't know.
 
When my friends try to contact you, just call them bitches cunts and a lot of slurs. They won't suspect a thing.
 
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