Tales of Deliciousness

[Five by Five]

I need to rethink my pumpkin carving abilities... and possibly my life.

I contend i'm not as good at anything as fatty is at pumpkin carving.

 

[bacon]

I contend i'm not as good at anything as fatty is at pumpkin carving.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Fatty is a classically trained artist.

 

[MichaelDiamond]

This one hardly qualifies as cooking (at least the way I do it), but it's healthy, quick and easy, so I think it's worth adding.

Chicken Tikka Masala

Cut up a mess o' chicken breast and fry in coconut oil, preferably in a wok. Add chopped onion (maybe 1 small or 1/2 large) and continue cooking until onion is glossy. Add a can of diced tomatoes, 1/2-3/4 cups water and about 1/4-1/3 cups tikka masala curry paste. Cook until water reduces and sauce begins to thicken. Add about 1/2 cup plain yogurt and simmer a couple minutes longer.

It's not much of a feat considering I use canned tomatoes and jarred curry paste, but it is delicious.

As already stated by multiple people, thanks for this recipe.

I used olive oil instead of coconut and chicken thighs instead of breasts but it still came out to be one of the tastiest things I've ever made. Definitely going to have to experiment with curry paste more.

Making this in my apartment elicited plenty of WTF looks from my roommates who subsist on ramen... and that was before I dumped plain yogurt on it.(OMFG that's not strawberry dannon!)

 

[Justin_Time]

^^ I'm going to have to try that next week. looks fucking fantastic.

I made a fritatta based on your recipe and it was ridiculous... thanks for sharing!

 

[ghostwipe]

While at the pumpkin patch, the idea popped into my head. It took a grand total of ~3 minutes to find and load 3 white pumpkins into our wagon along with our orange ones. Scooping and carving took about 10 minutes, so maybe we're looking at more like 13.

Proof of pumpkin patch visit, wagon and existence of orange pumpkins at said patch:

Proof of existence of white pumpkins at said pumpkin patch:

Proof that snowman pumpkin was a rush job compared to what I usually do:

Lots of win going on in here.

 

[Barut]

Oops. I accidentally edited my tenderloin post instead of creating new. Fuck.

If you're all primal all the time, skip this post.

Spaghetti Carbonara

This is one of my all time favorite things to make and most definitely my favorite pasta dish. If you have planned cheat days, use a carb cycling approach to eating or just plain don't give a fuck, then this is one to keep in mind. It's super simple and oh-so-delicious.

Essentially, Carbonara is just pasta with bacon, eggs and cheese, so why is it named after a dirty, black element? It's spaghetti as the coal miner's wife would make it... peasant food. Poor Italian women needed to feed their poor, hard working husbands with something hardy, yet affordable, and consisting of readily available ingredients. This stuff is bone sticking fuel for men's men and so it did (does) the trick.

Here goes...

A while before you start everything else, crack 4-5 whole eggs plus an extra yoke into a bowl and set aside.

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil and heat a large skillet with a coating of olive oil. Cut your bacon (pancetta if you want it to be authentic) into a moderate dice and fry in the olive oil while cooking 12 oz. of dried spaghetti in your pot of water.

While that's going, beat your eggs, add about 1/4 cup of Romano cheese (yes, parmesan will work), salt and a healthy dose of cracked pepper and mix together. As the pasta cooks, grab 1/4 cup of the pasta water and mix into the egg mixture.

When your pasta is done, drain it and transfer to a large bowl. You should have timed your bacon to be done by now, too, which you'll now spoon into the pasta bowl along with a fair portion of the fat. Give it a quick stir, then pour your egg mixture over the concoction and mix furiously with a wooden spoon.

Plate and serve with some extra cheese.

True Carbonara is nothing more than that, but from time to time, I'll add peas to the dish, as well, which you'll notice in the photo. They work nicely with the other components.

Now, there's really only one way to fuck up Carbonara, but it's easy to do if you don't pay attention to the following rules. I already went over them, but they're important, so:

• Crack eggs early enough to reach room temperature.
• Use more yoke than whole egg.
• Temper the egg mixture with pasta water.
• Mix like a mother fucker when you add the eggs to the pasta.

If you don't take these steps, you'll scramble the eggs and the entire dish will move from pasta coated with a beautiful, creamy egg sauce to pasta with... scrambled eggs. I suppose there are worse things in the world, but if you're going to do it, you might as well do it right.

I made this tonight. Great success.

 

[fat_wilhelm]

Glad you're all enjoying this stuff. Work's been stupid lately, so I've been getting home late and not cooking much the past week, but hopefully, I'll get back at it shortly.

 

[Lusst]

I'll get back at it shortly.

 

[fat_wilhelm]

Sauteed Chicken Breast with Mustard Sauce, Braised Red Cabbage

If I could only have one food for the rest of my life? That's easy. PEZ. Cherry flavor PEZ. There's no doubt about it. If, for some reason, PEZ one day ceased to exist, however, I'd take braised cabbage as my backup.

I could literally eat the stuff with every meal and never get sick of it. I don't know what it is about braised cabbage... it isn't some nostalgia dish that I ate as a kid or anything. I just love the shit out of it.

Melt about 1/2 a stick of butter in your favorite enameled dutch oven. Slice ~2 onions and add to the butter. Cook and stir whilst coring and slicing a small head of red cabbage. I cut it into ribbon like pieces. Add the cabbage and a good bit of salt to the dutch oven and cook away for 10-15 minutes until everything is getting nice and sweaty and soft. Add about 1/2 cup of white wine and 1/2-3/4 cups balsamic vinegar. If you don't have wine, you can use chicken or vegetable stock or even water. Cover your pot, reduce heat to a simmer and let 'er go.

For the obligate protein, thin out your chicken breasts by doing a pseudo-butterfly, finishing the cut. Sprinkle both sides w/ s&p and heat a skillet on med/high with a couple turns of olive oil. Don't use non-stick or I'll whip your ass with a belt. When the oil pops, add your chicken and lightly brown each side. Remove from the pan and set aside.

To the hot skillet, add a cup of chicken stock, 2-3 T white wine and a couple healthy spoonfuls of stone ground mustard (dijon will do if you're a peasant). Stir to combine and deglaze the pan by scraping the bottom with a wooden spoon. Let the sauce boil for a minute or two, then add your chicken back to the pan. Continue to cook until the liquid reduces into a nice saucy consistency.

By this time, your cabbage should be nearing the end. Remove the lid, give it a quick stir and add a good handful of raisins, which is my own personal touch... I've never seen raisins used by anyone else in braised cabbage, but I swear by it. Give it a try and I bet you'll love it. Cover and cook another 2-3 minutes.

Done.

 

[modena1983]

I am with you on cherry pez.

 

[Zerocrew1984]

Not a fan of PEZ the candy. Just the containers.

 

[fat_wilhelm]

You guys must be too young to have seen Stand By Me. One of my top 10 movies of all time.

 

[modena1983]

Seen bits and pieces never beginning to end though.

 

[Lusst]

Observation: This is Fatty's third Stand By Me reference in 2 years.

I'll try the shicken and cabbage pretty soon - looks delicious. Two things though; what the hell is chicken stock, and what does it mean when one is "coring cabbage".

 

[fat_wilhelm]

Observation: This is Fatty's third Stand By Me reference in 2 years.

Will you two just shut the fuck up? If either of you assholes had two-thousand dollars, I'd kill you both. (now 4)

I'll try the shicken and cabbage pretty soon - looks delicious. Two things though; what the hell is chicken stock, and what does it mean when one is "coring cabbage".

Chicken stock? Seriously? Wow

 

[Zerocrew1984]

Don't worry modena. When we are 45 and making Old School references, the young kids won't get it either.

 

[bunzo7]

why s&p food? i never s&p anything i cook and it still tastes great

 

[bunzo7]

i would watch food channel and the chefs would add a "pinch" of salt and all of a sudden its raining salt on the food lol

 

[fat_wilhelm]

why s&p food? i never s&p anything i cook and it still tastes great

It could taste better.

 

[modena1983]

Don't worry modena. When we are 45 and making Old School references, the young kids won't get it either.

LMAO. I think about this sometimes, like how I might put jurassic park on and my gets will be like "that looks so fake dad" "this was the best special effects back in my day, damn youngsters and your 4d tv "