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Tales of Deliciousness

Oops. I accidentally edited my tenderloin post instead of creating new. Fuck.

If you're all primal all the time, skip this post.

Spaghetti Carbonara

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This is one of my all time favorite things to make and most definitely my favorite pasta dish. If you have planned cheat days, use a carb cycling approach to eating or just plain don't give a fuck, then this is one to keep in mind. It's super simple and oh-so-delicious.

Essentially, Carbonara is just pasta with bacon, eggs and cheese, so why is it named after a dirty, black element? It's spaghetti as the coal miner's wife would make it... peasant food. Poor Italian women needed to feed their poor, hard working husbands with something hardy, yet affordable, and consisting of readily available ingredients. This stuff is bone sticking fuel for men's men and so it did (does) the trick.

Here goes...

A while before you start everything else, crack 4-5 whole eggs plus an extra yoke into a bowl and set aside.

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil and heat a large skillet with a coating of olive oil. Cut your bacon (pancetta if you want it to be authentic) into a moderate dice and fry in the olive oil while cooking 12 oz. of dried spaghetti in your pot of water.

While that's going, beat your eggs, add about 1/4 cup of Romano cheese (yes, parmesan will work), salt and a healthy dose of cracked pepper and mix together. As the pasta cooks, grab 1/4 cup of the pasta water and mix into the egg mixture.

When your pasta is done, drain it and transfer to a large bowl. You should have timed your bacon to be done by now, too, which you'll now spoon into the pasta bowl along with a fair portion of the fat. Give it a quick stir, then pour your egg mixture over the concoction and mix furiously with a wooden spoon.

Plate and serve with some extra cheese.

True Carbonara is nothing more than that, but from time to time, I'll add peas to the dish, as well, which you'll notice in the photo. They work nicely with the other components.

Now, there's really only one way to fuck up Carbonara, but it's easy to do if you don't pay attention to the following rules. I already went over them, but they're important, so:

  • Crack eggs early enough to reach room temperature.
  • Use more yoke than whole egg.
  • Temper the egg mixture with pasta water.
  • Mix like a mother fucker when you add the eggs to the pasta.

If you don't take these steps, you'll scramble the eggs and the entire dish will move from pasta coated with a beautiful, creamy egg sauce to pasta with... scrambled eggs. I suppose there are worse things in the world, but if you're going to do it, you might as well do it right.
 
I love carbonara, is adding the peas common? I do the same but I'm not sure where I picked it up.

If you seek out another recipe on the internet you will see many atrocities committed against this dish using extraneous ingredients such as cream.

I also will often saute onions and a bit of garlic with the bacon/pancetta.
 
Yeah, raw egg sauce?

*Is skeptical*

Caesar dressing uses raw eggs as well.

The pasta and water more or less cook the whites (which is the "dangerous" part), but as fat_wilhelm pointed out, you have to be careful not to coddle the eggs.
 
I love carbonara, is adding the peas common?

Not common, but I've seen it done before.

If you seek out another recipe on the internet you will see many atrocities committed against this dish using extraneous ingredients such as cream.

Truth.

And yes, as 5X5 pointed out, the eggs aren't raw. They're cooked just enough by the hot pasta.
 
Made the carbonara tonight...amazing. My son tore. That. Shit. Up.
 
Im going to have the Bacon, Onion and Cheddar Frittata for tomorrow morning. Im gonna throw in some chopped Kielbasa in it. Nice recipes Fatty.
 
Sweet n Souwa Chicken })

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Easy peazy. Dump 2/3 cup rice vinegar, 6T brown sugar (oh noes!), 1T soy sauce, 2T ketchup and a herd of pineapple chunks (I use Trader Joe's frozen) into a pot, stir, and bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer for a bit before adding everyone's favorite non-Newtonian fluid, cornstarch & water... ~2T water and 1T c.s. Let it thicken up, then turn off the heat.

Meanwhile, cube some boneless/skinless chicken breast and coat in a light dusting of flour (I use spelt). Cut up some pepper and onion and heat a couple tablespoons of coconut oil in a wok on high heat. Throw the chicken in, brown up all sides, then add your veggies. When they are cooked, but still crisp, add your pot of sauce. Serve with rice if you're a carb loving nazi.

The end.
 
How To Carve a Semi-Interesting Pumpkin When Trick-Or-Treating Starts in Only 10 Minutes

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The end.
 
Nevermind metaphors, you're mixing your seasons. Snowmenz are for winter, silly.
 
Nevermind metaphors, you're mixing your seasons. Snowmenz are for winter, silly.

It's so cold in the D. Feels like winter.

Also, I call bullshit on the whole 10 minute thing. I bet you picked out those three white pumpkins just so you could make that snowman pumpkin. Planning and forethought != 10 minute project.
 
Looks like a premeditated pumpkin snowman to me.
 
It's so cold in the D. Feels like winter.

Also, I call bullshit on the whole 10 minute thing. I bet you picked out those three white pumpkins just so you could make that snowman pumpkin. Planning and forethought != 10 minute project.

While at the pumpkin patch, the idea popped into my head. It took a grand total of ~3 minutes to find and load 3 white pumpkins into our wagon along with our orange ones. Scooping and carving took about 10 minutes, so maybe we're looking at more like 13.

Proof of pumpkin patch visit, wagon and existence of orange pumpkins at said patch:

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Proof of existence of white pumpkins at said pumpkin patch:

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Proof that snowman pumpkin was a rush job compared to what I usually do:

Hpumpkin.jpg
 
Those first two pics look like photochops. The third just looks like you put on some orange face paint. You probably don't have a puppy or a pumpkin snowman. I demand video evidence.
 
I need to rethink my pumpkin carving abilities... and possibly my life.
 
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