Stupid sh*t you've cried about.

[Tone C]

Thank you for your kind words.

I, against my better judgement, watched a few of her recent video-blogs and she announced she was moving down to Florida a week before her passing. She was excited for it and mentioned she had no idea how to transfer her medication prescription.

I had no idea she was on any medication at all, and in her last video (the one she said 'help me') she looked to be off her medication.

I'm not a doctor, but my guess was she was bipolar, or some variation of it.

This doesn't make it easier, but at least it is some kind of explanation for me to believe.


I grew up in a Baptist household, and one of the many things I've internally battled with since my childhood was the concept that everyone that isn't Christian goes to hell, and Christians that committed suicide weren't really Christian so they go to hell.

I didn't know this girl's religous background, but I do know she was the victim of child abuse - Physical, Mental, and Sexual. She was never able to form a healthy mind outside of that trauma, and perhaps the bipolar symptoms multiplied those issues within her mind. Her medication didn't rid her of the demons she was fighting, merely suppressing them temporarily by the pill. She had no idea what she was going.

If God is good and merciful, she's in a better place.

Sorry for your loss x

 

[Tuf_guy]

I guess you can call this a 'Should I throw away my man card?' thread.

I don't get emotional about much. It comes from being a student of history and always figuring that someone else has had it much worse than myself and they were able to make it through it without crying a single tier, why can't I?

Then this morning something hit me out of left field. There's a model I've followed on twitter for three years, she follows me, and we've DMed pretty often. We've never met, just chat back and forth.

I've never pitched the idea of meeting up in person, for multiple reasons. We were twitter friends and that's it.

She's not ultra-popular, just has acouple ten thousand followers, but I always thought she had a unique look to her, but not mainstream-popular look. This led to difficulty to her finding work in the modeling industry. I've DMed her about it in the last month multiple times about agents and companies being assholes, and asking if she's alright because she seemed very very stressed about her modeling career coming to an end, and she had no idea what she was going to do next. But she seemed happy about one modeling job she had lined up, possibly her final one, last week.

So, this morning I hadn't heard from her in eight days, so I checked my DMs and found nothing from her. Checked out her twitter profile and she hadn't posted anything for a week, which is very very unlike her. Then I checked her last tweet, which had several responses like...

...Suicide Hotline (***) ***-**** Call if you need help!...
...R.I.P...
...I'll Miss You...

Apparently, she killed herself five days ago.

From what I gathered, she went to the modeling gig and they turned her away after they saw some flaws with her body. She always had insecurity, and trouble finding jobs, because of some discoloration of the skin on her shoulder.
She left the modeling location in tiers, and committed suicide.

Her final tweet was a video of her acting incoherent and in the last few seconds she said "help me."

And now, I'm wondering why I've only got two hours sleep in the last eight hours, crying my eyes out so much my pillow is soaked, and all because of a girl I never met killed herself.

Probably because of the way she said 'help me.' I only watched it once but it replays in my head, over and over.

And now I have to get up and go to work in 45 minutes.

So, what stupid shit have you guys cried about?

Yeahhh... not seeing how this was stupid. Some people cry over fictional movies. This was a live person, who you actually knew. Only some level of sociopath would not care at all. Hopefully you got to bed early to catch up on sleep.
Oh... looks like you're up. Should try to crash, man. Self-care is important

 

[GearSolidMetal]

Hopefully you got to bed early to catch up on sleep.
Oh... looks like you're up. Should try to crash, man. Self-care is important

Slept 2 hours in the last 35.

I'm a fucking wreck.

 

[Tuf_guy]

Slept 2 hours in the last 35.

I'm a fucking wreck.

I've used this recently. Playing it a couple times kinda helps me relax when I'm kind of wound up. Not 100% success rate, but could get the ball rolling a little towards resting.

 

[Andersons Foot]

@GearSolidMetal

I found out about a month ago that an ex from school passed in 2017. I had no clue she was even sick. I was a mess for about 2 weeks.

Still think about her pretty much every day & how I had so much time to reach out & didn’t. It’s a tough feeling when people you’ve built a connection with are no longer here.

 

[Andersons Foot]

JUst yesterday. Season finale of stranger things

That was tough. I don’t want to spoil anything but El reading that note really hit me.

 

[Deleted member 509215]

I guess you can call this a 'Should I throw away my man card?' thread.

I don't get emotional about much. It comes from being a student of history and always figuring that someone else has had it much worse than myself and they were able to make it through it without crying a single tier, why can't I?

Then this morning something hit me out of left field. There's a model I've followed on twitter for three years, she follows me, and we've DMed pretty often. We've never met, just chat back and forth.

I've never pitched the idea of meeting up in person, for multiple reasons. We were twitter friends and that's it.

She's not ultra-popular, just has acouple ten thousand followers, but I always thought she had a unique look to her, but not mainstream-popular look. This led to difficulty to her finding work in the modeling industry. I've DMed her about it in the last month multiple times about agents and companies being assholes, and asking if she's alright because she seemed very very stressed about her modeling career coming to an end, and she had no idea what she was going to do next. But she seemed happy about one modeling job she had lined up, possibly her final one, last week.

So, this morning I hadn't heard from her in eight days, so I checked my DMs and found nothing from her. Checked out her twitter profile and she hadn't posted anything for a week, which is very very unlike her. Then I checked her last tweet, which had several responses like...

...Suicide Hotline (***) ***-**** Call if you need help!...
...R.I.P...
...I'll Miss You...

Apparently, she killed herself five days ago.

From what I gathered, she went to the modeling gig and they turned her away after they saw some flaws with her body. She always had insecurity, and trouble finding jobs, because of some discoloration of the skin on her shoulder.
She left the modeling location in tiers, and committed suicide.

Her final tweet was a video of her acting incoherent and in the last few seconds she said "help me."

And now, I'm wondering why I've only got two hours sleep in the last eight hours, crying my eyes out so much my pillow is soaked, and all because of a girl I never met killed herself.

Probably because of the way she said 'help me.' I only watched it once but it replays in my head, over and over.

And now I have to get up and go to work in 45 minutes.

So, what stupid shit have you guys cried about?

Sorry to hear that man that’s really rough. I bet she was a sweet gal. Too bad you never got the chance to meet her in person..

 

[sleepwalk]

A girl probably back in the day.
It's a Wonderful Life every single time.

i was watching this show on netflix a couple days ago, and this guys young son goes missing. i just had a baby boy in march and i started thinking how i would feel if that happened to him and i started tearing up

Anything with kids will get you after you have them. From my job, I've had to see dead children from time to time. Not fun but, since I've had kids of my own (and lost one,) stuff on TV bothers me more. The Last of Us, some of Walking Dead, and episode of freaking NCIS had the wife and I squeezing each other's hands.

 

[Bubzeh]

 

[Nameless King]

I guess you can call this a 'Should I throw away my man card?' thread.

I don't get emotional about much. It comes from being a student of history and always figuring that someone else has had it much worse than myself and they were able to make it through it without crying a single tier, why can't I?

Then this morning something hit me out of left field. There's a model I've followed on twitter for three years, she follows me, and we've DMed pretty often. We've never met, just chat back and forth.

I've never pitched the idea of meeting up in person, for multiple reasons. We were twitter friends and that's it.

She's not ultra-popular, just has acouple ten thousand followers, but I always thought she had a unique look to her, but not mainstream-popular look. This led to difficulty to her finding work in the modeling industry. I've DMed her about it in the last month multiple times about agents and companies being assholes, and asking if she's alright because she seemed very very stressed about her modeling career coming to an end, and she had no idea what she was going to do next. But she seemed happy about one modeling job she had lined up, possibly her final one, last week.

So, this morning I hadn't heard from her in eight days, so I checked my DMs and found nothing from her. Checked out her twitter profile and she hadn't posted anything for a week, which is very very unlike her. Then I checked her last tweet, which had several responses like...

...Suicide Hotline (***) ***-**** Call if you need help!...
...R.I.P...
...I'll Miss You...

Apparently, she killed herself five days ago.

From what I gathered, she went to the modeling gig and they turned her away after they saw some flaws with her body. She always had insecurity, and trouble finding jobs, because of some discoloration of the skin on her shoulder.
She left the modeling location in tiers, and committed suicide.

Her final tweet was a video of her acting incoherent and in the last few seconds she said "help me."

And now, I'm wondering why I've only got two hours sleep in the last eight hours, crying my eyes out so much my pillow is soaked, and all because of a girl I never met killed herself.

Probably because of the way she said 'help me.' I only watched it once but it replays in my head, over and over.

And now I have to get up and go to work in 45 minutes.

So, what stupid shit have you guys cried about?

Watch out, alpha male sherdoggers will put you down quickly.

Fuck em.

 

[Legumes]

I cry every time I logon here and have zero likes.

 

[rearnakedchoke]

That was tough. I don’t want to spoil anything but El reading that note really hit me.

Oof. I was done.

 

[dadams]

You sound really young lol. Just going by the first movie you cried to was St Vincent. Anyway, no shame in feeling things deeply. A lot of guys neglect their feelings and many that are sensitive and soft deny their feelings and belittle those that express them. Keep that in mind as you wade through life.

Actually it was the first movie I watched with my girlfriend. Not the first movie I watched. I'm 53 years old. After my mother passed away in 2001 it seems I have become much more sensitive to emotions. I appreciate the kind words though!! (And no, I didn't tear up....)

 

[Wrath of Foamy]

When I was a young teenager, my mother took me to the local GAME and asked me if I wanted some Touring Car or Football game on the Sega Saturn.

I picked the football game, though didn't give a direct answer, when she bought it, I told her that it was wrong. She replaced it.

At the bus stop, I was hit by a wave of guilt so severe that I literally lay on the bench, put my head on my mother's lap and screamed...

"I'M SOOOOOOOOWWWWWWRRRRYYYYY!!! WAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Fucking bawled...

 

[Steerpike]

That would hit me hard too, but i'm infamously soft so I'm not a good litmus test

A five year old girl once told me that she was being bullied at school and couldn't do her work because the bully sat next to her and would stop her. She said she never told her mum because 'mummy is angry all the time and never wants to play with me'. She was sitting with her head down, wringing her hands in her lap and she looked completely defeated by the world

I think about that moment every day of my life. It broke off a piece of me, somehow

 

[Tone C]

Anything with kids will get you after you have them. From my job, I've had to see dead children from time to time. Not fun but, since I've had kids of my own (and lost one,)

Yea, funny enough , Tom Clancy books often make me well up , some thing in the way he writes about kids and the emotions they evoke....he gets it.


And sorry for your loss.

 

[Dinotective]

Just look at the flowers

 

[Devout Pessimist]

Lots of video games. Where do I turn in my man card and pick up my Pampren?

FF7
The Walking Dead
Halo Reach
Red Dead Redemption 2

To name a few. Fuck Hollywood. All the best stories are told in games now.

I actually cried while playing Final Fantasy 15 during the final campfire scene where Noctis tells his bros how much he cares for them before the end sequence of the game. The Feels!

 

[Devout Pessimist]

Dog movies always get me. While watching Hachi I cried throughout the second half of the movie.

 

[KhabibTheBeagle]

Thank you for your kind words.

I, against my better judgement, watched a few of her recent video-blogs and she announced she was moving down to Florida a week before her passing. She was excited for it and mentioned she had no idea how to transfer her medication prescription.

I had no idea she was on any medication at all, and in her last video (the one she said 'help me') she looked to be off her medication.

I'm not a doctor, but my guess was she was bipolar, or some variation of it.

This doesn't make it easier, but at least it is some kind of explanation for me to believe.


I grew up in a Baptist household, and one of the many things I've internally battled with since my childhood was the concept that everyone that isn't Christian goes to hell, and Christians that committed suicide weren't really Christian so they go to hell.

I didn't know this girl's religous background, but I do know she was the victim of child abuse - Physical, Mental, and Sexual. She was never able to form a healthy mind outside of that trauma, and perhaps the bipolar symptoms multiplied those issues within her mind. Her medication didn't rid her of the demons she was fighting, merely suppressing them temporarily by the pill. She had no idea what she was going.

If God is good and merciful, she's in a better place.

Any God that would be so unforgiving is not a God worth worshipping. Either way, she is at peace from whatever her demons were, whether there is an afterlife or none.

I hope you find peace in the fact that your support still likely meant a lot, despite her struggles.

Sorry again for your loss, bud