Strange things found in the woods

[Shoguns Prodigy**]

When I was 10 and exploring the woods around my neighborhood... an old couch, a bunch of used condoms, empty beer cans, and potato chip bags surrounding a smoldering fire.

I assumed it was the local teens. Turns out, it was my friend's dad and some of his buddies. They later got caught back there one time with a prostitute.

At 26, I moved into my own house a few neighborhoods away from where I grew up. I went exploring those woods close to dusk. Saw a tent set up and went to inspect. As I got closer I noticed a few teens running away, I guess they thought I was a cop.

There was a cooler filled with Natty Ice by the tent, a bag of weed, and a bowl. Being the good guy I am, I left them the weed and bowl and just grabbed a six pack out of the cooler. Haha.

Haha! you should of lit the weed and dropped the bowl and left.

 

[MR NHB]

Yeah, Bukowski's right....once you get off the 1-5 spine of both Washington AND Oregon, there are spooky little towns and people living way up in the middle of nowhere. I'm sure there is a massive amount of freaky shit that goes unnoticed or caught happening all over the place in the PNW.

 

[Bukowski82]

Are you sure the guy in the window is the guy who helped repair your vehicle? Cheney is a college town right? There is a high possibility it was just another college student trying to check out some arse.

True. And no, I'm not sure... But it wasn't on the main strip where all the College kids live by Goofy's and all the bars. Kind of more on the boarder of that and where the people/families that actually live there stay. Her and her friends, who were gone at the time... lived above their landlord in a big house that had been converted into an upstairs apt.

While I only saw an outline, the guy I outside was bigger than me and I stand just a hair under 6'1. That guy earlier that night was definitely bigger than me...

And the timing... That would be one hell of a coincidence.

 

[Merlotte's]

Alaska is nothing but woods. You go for a walk in any direction for five minutes and you're lost in the woods.

In my early 20's I had a job which required me to run a boat up and down the Yukon River frequently. Sometimes I was required to camp out with no real shelter. Though most often I'd find someone in the village who was nice enough to give me a place to stay for the night.

It's always a mixed bag when you stay at a strangers house overnight. There were a couple families who's homes I avoided because they were drunks or would constantly ask for money even though I never agreed to pay. Then there were families I'd frequent more often than not because they had grown up daughters staying with them. Now I'd seldom get involved with these girls but it's always nice to have female company especially when you've been out in the woods for weeks on end.

I remember I'd stopped by a little town called Galena late one night. There was a guy there who was really cool and seemed to be okay with me spending time alone with his daughter. His entire family loved me and wanted me to pursue her it seemed. After some chit chat with the guy I ask where she is and he tells me she's out on the four wheeler somewhere and said I can borrow his if I want to go find her. I ain't about to turn down some riding so I hop on and head to an area about a mile away in the woods(
its all woods) where they have a dog kennel.

She's there. Looking good, it'd been a while since we'd seen each other and her hair grew out. We hug and she begins kissing me like a wife who's husband just came back from war. Now we've never really gone past kissing, I'd been holding off cause if something doesn't go right there's a good chance their home wouldn't be available to me.

I quickly realize this is going somewhere. We're out here in the middle of nowhere with only a bunch of howling dogs this might be the only alone time we get. So I start undressing from the waist down and she does the same. Keep in mind we're at a remote dog kennel, it looks like this picture but the dog houses were more modern and had doors to lock the dogs in(it was summer also, no snow).

Its time to get down. Either we go at it in the dirt, against a tree covered in sap, or on top of a dog kennel. I chose the kennel, she bends over on it. Like that. Things are going great, puttin' in work.

Girls tend to make noise during sex, she was no exception. Dogs don't tend to be cool with a strange person making their owner scream, so as you can imagine they were barking up a storm. Whatever, they ain't getting out. I'm safe, and puttin' in work.

But amid all the noise I didn't hear the kennel breaking....crash! It collapses. She goes down face first with my body weight behind her and an 80lb dog gets loose. I spring to my feet and this things already got a hold of my leg. Attempting to get loose I inadvertently give the dog my arm. While getting mauled I see her slowly rise and it seems her chin is split open. And she's begins screaming. Not screaming at the dog who's trying to kill me, she's screaming at me for punching the dog who's now given me several lacerations to my arm and leg.

After a few seconds of cool down she gets the dog off me. Her and I are both covered in blood, quite the scene. I've had some shit go down in the woods but never in my life thought I'd be half naked on the ground and bloody after sex. The girl is no longer mad at me but concerned about my wounds and says we need to get back to the house quickly. I'm hesitant....imagine a father asking you to go hang out with his daughter and you bring her back with a busted chin. Never mind the fact it happened during copulation.

We went back, everything was fine. Gave him some story of the dog coming at me and her slipping on her face during the melee. I never went back and hope she's doing okay. Not really into girls with scars.

 

[Pancake]

during high school(sophomore or jr year) i wanted to get smoked up before a school football game. i knew of a little secluded spot in a fancy partly developed neighborhood less than 100 yards from the road. taking advantage of my 4wd pickup i explored the empty lots and found a nice little area to relax and toke in my truck. whilst smoking my bowl i saw some trash in the sand. upon closer inspection there was a nice pile of already open dildo/sex toys. only the cardboard/plastic remained. many had some pretty wild names. i call the area "dildo graveyard"

 

[Bukowski82]

Alaska is nothing but woods. You go for a walk in any direction for five minutes and you're lost in the woods.

In my early 20's I had a job which required me to run a boat up and down the Yukon River frequently. Sometimes I was required to camp out with no real shelter. Though most often I'd find someone in the village who was nice enough to give me a place to stay for the night.

It's always a mixed bag when you stay at a strangers house overnight. There were a couple families who's homes I avoided because they were drunks or would constantly ask for money even though I never agreed to pay. Then there were families I'd frequent more often than not because they had grown up daughters staying with them. Now I'd seldom get involved with these girls but it's always nice to have female company especially when you've been out in the woods for weeks on end.

I remember I'd stopped by a little town called Galena late one night. There was a guy there who was really cool and seemed to be okay with me spending time alone with his daughter. His entire family loved me and wanted me to pursue her it seemed. After some chit chat with the guy I ask where she is and he tells me she's out on the four wheeler somewhere and said I can borrow his if I want to go find her. I ain't about to turn down some riding so I hop on and head to an area about a mile away in the woods(
its all woods) where they have a dog kennel.

She's there. Looking good, it'd been a while since we'd seen each other and her hair grew out. We hug and she begins kissing me like a wife who's husband just came back from war. Now we've never really gone past kissing, I'd been holding off cause if something doesn't go right there's a good chance their home wouldn't be available to me.

I quickly realize this is going somewhere. We're out here in the middle of nowhere with only a bunch of howling dogs this might be the only alone time we get. So I start undressing from the waist down and she does the same. Keep in mind we're at a remote dog kennel, it looks like this picture but the dog houses were more modern and had doors to lock the dogs in(it was summer also, no snow).

Its time to get down. Either we go at it in the dirt, against a tree covered in sap, or on top of a dog kennel. I chose the kennel, she bends over on it. Like that. Things are going great, puttin' in work.

Girls tend to make noise during sex, she was no exception. Dogs don't tend to be cool with a strange person making their owner scream, so as you can imagine they were barking up a storm. Whatever, they ain't getting out. I'm safe, and puttin' in work.

But amid all the noise I didn't hear the kennel breaking....crash! It collapses. She goes down face first with my body weight behind her and an 80lb dog gets loose. I spring to my feet and this things already got a hold of my leg. Attempting to get loose I inadvertently give the dog my arm. While getting mauled I see her slowly rise and it seems her chin is split open. And she's begins screaming. Not screaming at the dog who's trying to kill me, she's screaming at me for punching the dog who's now given me several lacerations to my arm and leg.

After a few seconds of cool down she gets the dog off me. Her and I are both covered in blood, quite the scene. I've had some shit go down in the woods but never in my life thought I'd be half naked on the ground and bloody after sex. The girl is no longer mad at me but concerned about my wounds and says we need to get back to the house quickly. I'm hesitant....imagine a father asking you to go hang out with his daughter and you bring her back with a busted chin. Never mind the fact it happened during copulation.

We went back, everything was fine. Gave him some story of the dog coming at me and her slipping on her face during the melee. I never went back and hope she's doing okay. Not really into girls with scars.

lol, that's awesome.

 

[PureDominance]

during high school(sophomore or jr year) i wanted to get smoked up before a school football game. i knew of a little secluded spot in a fancy partly developed neighborhood less than 100 yards from the road. taking advantage of my 4wd pickup i explored the empty lots and found a nice little area to relax and toke in my truck. whilst smoking my bowl i saw some trash in the sand. upon closer inspection there was a nice pile of already open dildo/sex toys. only the cardboard/plastic remained. many had some pretty wild names. i call the area "dildo graveyard"

OK we really need to get to the bottom of this "random dildos in the woods" phenomenon. Half of Sherdog has come across them...

 

[Scrody]

lol Sam

 

[weed]

hahaha I was literally just thinking "forests/woods serve to be dildo graveyards" too.

Bukowski82 that story is ridiculous

Anyways, growing up I lived next door to this small apartment building known as the spot for drugs. I used to think it was funny to watch people walk in normal, and stumble out all fucked up. Anyways, there was a large field behind our street, with a very small wooded area in between, that me and my buddys used to make forts in and what-not. So one day we're digging out there, and we discover this very large pile of kinda clear glassy shards. We just figure it was drugs and move on to another spot.

Turns out we were right - meth. A couple mornings before this, there was a pretty major raid on the apartment building, and while the dude was found, they never found the drugs that he ran out with.

so if I'm reading & piecing this all together correctly..


you kept the stash, became an addict, which serves to be the reason why you chose your forum handle?

 

[INeedARemedy]

Hah Sam that is a great story

Quality thread TS. Great idea.

...

so if I'm reading & piecing this all together correctly..


you kept the stash, became an addict, which serves to be the reason why you chose your forum handle?

Hahaha nah I was an opiate man

 

[Mickey Mick]

Random porn in the middle of the woods. Found a pot growing op (small) but crudely booby trapped with some trip wires and logs. Got pissed destroyed traps and took the plants.

Random naked dude sunning on top of clearing in a chez. Found gigantic black dildo (would post pics but don't want da dubs) with animal chew marks.

Lol I'm from Mass where was this at? Sounds like sodom and gomorrah.

I used to love going for walks in the woods as a kid. Always found random porn magazines, one time found a cool hunters perch that you could climb up with a little seat up top of the tree. Very dangerous, but I remember peeing off it for sport.

Kinda miss the tranquility and privacy of a walk in the woods. Unfortunately I don't get that at all where I live now.

 

[Poser Caust]

Not really in the deep woods, but about 10 years ago and this has happened twice where I'm driving along old dirt logging roads and n the ditch along some back roads I found a dozen or garbage bags of pot. Sometimes people just ditch it when things start getting heat I don't know, but out in this area its rampant with grows.

So both times I loaded up each and every bag into my truck and got the fuck out of there as fast as I could. Now on the second time this happened I was quite a bit further out so I needed to get gas. So I find one and the pumps are all full. Not wanting to draw attention because of the smell I decided to circle around and come back once they have had time to fill up and leave. When I pull in the second time, I notice that there is branches, shake and shit everywhere leaving a path that goes right through the station and right back to behind where I am parked now at the pumps. I know I need gas so I have no choice but to fill up right there, luckily nobody is around but the attendant inside, I'm closed to finishing when I hear truck coming down the road, they were going pretty fast and because of this my first thought is that these are the guys the pot belonged to and they followed me here.

I don't even take and chance get the hell out of there without getting all my gas. Sure enough the truck pulls into the same gas station as I'm pulling out. I still got another hour to go home and its about 5 minutes later I realize im still spraying shit out the back so I pull over and start closing up the bags good with some tuck tape, which I should have done earlier as I'm doing this the same truck drives by and stops about 40 feet ahead of me. I can hear a alot of yelling coming from the truck I'm thinking I'm fucking dead, these guys are going to kick my ass or worse.

So I'm still behind my truck so I start chucking the bags over the ditch and into the bush, but in such a way that I know they cant see me over the top of my truck. That's when they hit it in reverse, I quickly throw the last two bags toward the front of the bed hoping they wont see it as I wont have time to tosh them in the bush without being seen, I make like I am taking a piss just as we come into each others views, I turn around **** in hand and stuff it away to really sell the fact i was takin piss when I wasnt. The passenger who was getting out gets right back in and they drive off without saying a word.

So in the end I made it home safe, smoked alot of weed that winter, but ever since then I make a habit of driving up the logging roads when I have the chance just in case I can make a big score again. No luck, although one year I found a huge pile of shake that had all been dumped, but it had been raining out and it was all fucked. Was able to get a few passable buds by digging through tho.

 

[HappyHaHa**]

Found an 83 Buick with the keys still in the ignition and about a quarter tank of gas. Windows were busted out except for the front windshield, which didn't have a scratch. And the really weird thing is that the opening it was in was surrounded by really big, old trees. There wasn't a gap between the trees that was big enough to drive that car through.

 

[apizur**]

I didn't read the whole thread so idk if this is repeat. They have this lame shit called "geocaching". I probably wouldn't hate it so much if the guy who I first discovered did it wasn't such a complete douche. Anyway, in a nut shell, people stash things in the wilderness and leave coordinates on a website. People use compasses and maps to track the coordinates and write about their finds.

Here's the site:
http://www.geocaching.com/

 

[Zookeeper Gabe]

Lol I'm from Mass where was this at? Sounds like sodom and gomorrah.

I used to love going for walks in the woods as a kid. Always found random porn magazines, one time found a cool hunters perch that you could climb up with a little seat up top of the tree. Very dangerous, but I remember peeing off it for sport.

Kinda miss the tranquility and privacy of a walk in the woods. Unfortunately I don't get that at all where I live now.

Lol Blue Hills is apparently the hookup for gay sex on the dl.

 

[Rawex]

Bukowski82 and Sam nice stories.

 

[SevenSamurai]

Alaska is nothing but woods. You go for a walk in any direction for five minutes and you're lost in the woods.

In my early 20's I had a job which required me to run a boat up and down the Yukon River frequently. Sometimes I was required to camp out with no real shelter. Though most often I'd find someone in the village who was nice enough to give me a place to stay for the night.

It's always a mixed bag when you stay at a strangers house overnight. There were a couple families who's homes I avoided because they were drunks or would constantly ask for money even though I never agreed to pay. Then there were families I'd frequent more often than not because they had grown up daughters staying with them. Now I'd seldom get involved with these girls but it's always nice to have female company especially when you've been out in the woods for weeks on end.

I remember I'd stopped by a little town called Galena late one night. There was a guy there who was really cool and seemed to be okay with me spending time alone with his daughter. His entire family loved me and wanted me to pursue her it seemed. After some chit chat with the guy I ask where she is and he tells me she's out on the four wheeler somewhere and said I can borrow his if I want to go find her. I ain't about to turn down some riding so I hop on and head to an area about a mile away in the woods(
its all woods) where they have a dog kennel.

She's there. Looking good, it'd been a while since we'd seen each other and her hair grew out. We hug and she begins kissing me like a wife who's husband just came back from war. Now we've never really gone past kissing, I'd been holding off cause if something doesn't go right there's a good chance their home wouldn't be available to me.

I quickly realize this is going somewhere. We're out here in the middle of nowhere with only a bunch of howling dogs this might be the only alone time we get. So I start undressing from the waist down and she does the same. Keep in mind we're at a remote dog kennel, it looks like this picture but the dog houses were more modern and had doors to lock the dogs in(it was summer also, no snow).

Its time to get down. Either we go at it in the dirt, against a tree covered in sap, or on top of a dog kennel. I chose the kennel, she bends over on it. Like that. Things are going great, puttin' in work.

Girls tend to make noise during sex, she was no exception. Dogs don't tend to be cool with a strange person making their owner scream, so as you can imagine they were barking up a storm. Whatever, they ain't getting out. I'm safe, and puttin' in work.

But amid all the noise I didn't hear the kennel breaking....crash! It collapses. She goes down face first with my body weight behind her and an 80lb dog gets loose. I spring to my feet and this things already got a hold of my leg. Attempting to get loose I inadvertently give the dog my arm. While getting mauled I see her slowly rise and it seems her chin is split open. And she's begins screaming. Not screaming at the dog who's trying to kill me, she's screaming at me for punching the dog who's now given me several lacerations to my arm and leg.

After a few seconds of cool down she gets the dog off me. Her and I are both covered in blood, quite the scene. I've had some shit go down in the woods but never in my life thought I'd be half naked on the ground and bloody after sex. The girl is no longer mad at me but concerned about my wounds and says we need to get back to the house quickly. I'm hesitant....imagine a father asking you to go hang out with his daughter and you bring her back with a busted chin. Never mind the fact it happened during copulation.

We went back, everything was fine. Gave him some story of the dog coming at me and her slipping on her face during the melee. I never went back and hope she's doing okay. Not really into girls with scars.

putin' in the work

 

[Merlotte's]

lol

It was a good time. Usually nothing happens to me in the woods, and I'm there often. Find the occasional dildo but that's normal.

 

[weed]

@Poser

holy fucking balls man

 

[El Chimpo]

id imagine theres some spooky shit in the middle of nowhere in montana