your entire post is sad. but to be honest the thing that's the weirdest about this reaction to his death is people saying he was acting crazy because of drugs.
because what exactly do you expect people do to when they are in bad chronic pain? you go insane because you can't take it anymore. so if the options are either kill yourself immediately or make a scene, most people choose to make a scene, or at least for a number of years (which it seems like kind of did on and off).
can you even imagine being in intolerable, I literally cannot stand being alive anymore level of physical pain and NOT ONLY do the doctors not even run any tests on you to see if there is anything wrong, they basically treat you like you are a bad person and inferior to them, simply because you want them to do their job and figure out what's wrong with you.?
i get that there's probably 10 stupid drug seekers for every 1 person in actual chronic pain (but of all people who probably are in actual chronic pain why would you not believe MMA veteran stephen bonnar is NOT in chronic pain?) but can you imagine being that 1 that has a real issue and no one will help you with it? and you know that they COULD but they just WON'T? and you can't think about what to do because you can't sleep/eat/etc because of the pain? You're just stuck in this hell where nothing will ever get any better and there's nothing you can do. and that's when people start freaking out and raising their voice because no one is listening and you know that if you died people would pretend to care so you start yelling DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT ME NOW??? and of course they don't. and the longer you live like that the more insane it's going to make you. and so many people just want to use you as a person they can point at as inferior to themselves like look at that drug addict, i'm so much better than him. this is also why no one helps homeless people. that's got to be the worst thing imaginable. that would drive anyone crazy.
