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Should you tell people they are special?

We dont use the word special anymore, the current acceptable term is Autistic.
 
Unless they truly are, absolutely not. ALWAYS let them know they are loved and they can work towards the things they want. But unless the kid really is special, all you do is set them up for failure. No little Tommy, you can't be President one day because you can't even sit still without eating your own boogers.
 
I like the old "You're special and unique...just like everyone else." Encourage people who have talents to use them in such a way that they and others can benefit. Also help them understand they will have shortcomings and will need the talents of others to get by. It's all about how we fit into life's puzzle.
 
I don't think we should tell everyone they are special, but we should tell people that they are all capable of being special.

People are capable of great things, but we are often unwilling to dedicate the time and effort to achieving it.
 
Fedorgasm said:
In the US we have this habit of telling every child they're special. Which I guess wasn't too bad but now we even tell adults that, and it's not remotely true in most cases.

In Japan, at least a few decades ago, they would teach the opposite. That you're not special. Which makes them feel like they need to do more to fit in and behave in a way that benefits the group they're in.

What say you? Both have their advantages, but if you had to choose... Would you tell people they're special?
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Definietly the first option.
 
I Am Legion said:
Unless they truly are, absolutely not. ALWAYS let them know they are loved and they can work towards the things they want. But unless the kid really is special, all you do is set them up for failure. No little Tommy, you can't be President one day because you can't even sit still without eating your own boogers.
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Stupidest shit I've heard today. Little Tommy is a child, that means he is in the process of growing. Why limit his growth by your stupid ideas about how a President should be in his childhood?

If Donald Trump can become president then it's safe to say not only restless booger eating Tommy can but almost anyone can.
 
KeepingItReal said:
Stupidest shit I've heard today. Little Tommy is a child, that means he is in the process of growing. Why limit his growth by your stupid ideas about how a President should be in his childhood?

If Donald Trump can become president then it's safe to say not only restless booger eating Tommy can but almost anyone can.
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How do you interpret "stupid" when you wake up every day in a state of "stupid". As soon as you mentioned Trump, you showed your hand. Not worth even debating. I have coached and taught and have raised 2 great kids. I know letting a kid feel they are loved and have value is way more important than lying to them about their "specialness".
 
I think the idea behind the Japanese way is that you don't tell them they're special until they earn it. It encourages them to be ambitious about achievement.

Whereas American kids just grow up thinking they're great when haven't done anything.

Like I've seen American teens that think they're too good to work at McDonald's and I'm like "motherfucker you've never had a job, never played sports, and your grades suck. What makes you think MacDonald is beneath you?"
 
i grew up in a household that had a father that was a salesman. Everyone was special, and for $9.99 you could own your very own, what ever was being sold that year. :)

I don't think there is anything wrong with pointing out positives in a persons special qualities. Being realistic is important also.
 
I Am Legion said:
How do you interpret "stupid" when you wake up every day in a state of "stupid". As soon as you mentioned Trump, you showed your hand. Not worth even debating. I have coached and taught and have raised 2 great kids. I know letting a kid feel they are loved and have value is way more important than lying to them about their "specialness".
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If I am waking up everyday in a state of stupid aren't I the best one to comment on said state? Direct experience is not something that needs to be interpreted. You really are good at coming up with more stupid shit to say. I never said you should tell your them they are special, but saying a child can't become President one day because they eat their boogers as a child is just pure nonsense.
 
Selfish culture versus seppeku culture?

I'd lean towards teaching a young one how to respect themselves in order to garner respect from others.
 
We should stop telling fat chicks they're brave and beautiful.
 
Fedorgasm said:
In the US we have this habit of telling every child they're special. Which I guess wasn't too bad but now we even tell adults that, and it's not remotely true in most cases.

In Japan, at least a few decades ago, they would teach the opposite. That you're not special. Which makes them feel like they need to do more to fit in and behave in a way that benefits the group they're in.

What say you? Both have their advantages, but if you had to choose... Would you tell people they're special?
Click to expand...
Well the Japanese example sounds pretty cruel. I know we josh around on a fisticuff forum but I don't like making people feel miserable. I remind my loved ones how brilliant they are for whatever reason quite frequently.
 
I ask people all the time if they were in "Special Ed". Does that count?
 
A child is special to the parent/family, but not society. You have to work hard to become special in society. Both should be emphasised.
 
I think telling people they are special is a symptom not a cause.

I think you can say someone is special and that this doesn't matter a jot.
 
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