Should you tell people they are special?

[Fedorgasm]

In the US we have this habit of telling every child they're special. Which I guess wasn't too bad but now we even tell adults that, and it's not remotely true in most cases.

In Japan, at least a few decades ago, they would teach the opposite. That you're not special. Which makes them feel like they need to do more to fit in and behave in a way that benefits the group they're in.

What say you? Both have their advantages, but if you had to choose... Would you tell people they're special?

 

[STRYDG]

I vote no, not in a general sense. Only encourage them for things they have done or if they say they want to do then words of encouragement to help them along.

That Japanese example is interesting. Wonder what effect it has on them.

 

[Nameless Ghoul]

I wouldn't say something generic like "special", but if you recognize a talent/characteristic in them that seems elevated or better than normal you can compliment them on that. Also thinking about it really, as an "adult to adult" interaction I likely wouldn't even say that. To someone growing up though, and there is a strength/quality you recognize I maintain my original point.

 

[Versez]

I think you’re a bit special @Fedorgasm

 

[Brom Bones]

No, we need to tell more people that they are fucking retards.

"You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else and we are all part of the same compost heap."

 

[Sycho Sid]

 

[Spounman]

 

[traditionally_irreverent]

 

[plataoplombo]

To kids, yeah, within reason to help build self confidence.

Adults...fuck em

 

[TribalDrumz]

I wonder how many of you were special needs students.

 

[Versez]

I wonder how many of you were special needs students.

Shut up

 

[TribalDrumz]

I wonder how many of you were special needs students.

Shut up

Gfy Canadian Can weirdo

 

[Kardashians]

I wouldn't say something generic like "special", but if you recognize a talent/characteristic in them that seems elevated or better than normal you can compliment them on that. Also thinking about it really, as an "adult to adult" interaction I likely wouldn't even say that. To someone growing up though, and there is a strength/quality you recognize I maintain my original point.

I agree with this for the most part, except I actually do tell my friends these things, a lot even. Everybody’s confidence is shot, their self perception is skewed, whatever it may be, I want them to know there are these good and beautiful things about them, and they are in fact special people, to me at least.

 

[Versez]

I wonder how many of you were special needs students.

Gfy Canadian Can weirdo

Fuck off , thirsty bitch, with his thirsty attention whoring avatar. Basement dweller.

 

[Osculater]

I remember adults telling kids they can be anything they want to be and now they identify as ghey dolphins, or something similar

 

[pugilistico]

Definitely not. Even if they are, you should instill discipline and humility.

Nobody is special in an absolute sense in vacuum. We're just bags of flesh and bone in the end.
They might to special within a context. Some people are gifted athletically or intellectually. I was special among my peers for being socially retarded as a kid.

I think we should always strike a fine balance between encouraging them and building confidence without letting hubris fester, and cultivating humility without cutting away at their self-esteem.

 

[Osculater]

I wonder how many of you were special needs students.

 

[Sad Dad]

I vote no, not in a general sense. Only encourage them for things they have done or if they say they want to do then words of encouragement to help them along.

That Japanese example is interesting. Wonder what effect it has on them.

Both extremes are seriously detrimental to society and mental health. We teach people that they’re individuals and we acknowledge innate talent and but reward consistent effort. We don’t need to tell our children that they’re the most special because that creates a society of people who think they’re the main character of the universe and have no self awareness. but we can tell them we love them unconditionally more than anything else on the planet so they feel secure enough to try new things and succeed or fail. We teach our kids that they have tons of potential but it takes dedication to become special.

 

[Batjester]

I tell people they are special all the time.


They even have an Olympics just for them.

 

[Baby Hanma]

In the US we have this habit of telling every child they're special. Which I guess wasn't too bad but now we even tell adults that, and it's not remotely true in most cases.

In Japan, at least a few decades ago, they would teach the opposite. That you're not special. Which makes them feel like they need to do more to fit in and behave in a way that benefits the group they're in.

What say you? Both have their advantages, but if you had to choose... Would you tell people they're special?

Meritocracy is part of my beliefs. You're not special unless you accomplish something. And people should be told that.