Can't decide.
I started weaning off them without consulting my Doctor. This is the second time I've done this...it's perfectly safe...
Just can't decide if I want off them. I'm feeling real emotions again, but it's harder to love because of them.
As others here have already told you, it's dangerous as hell to fuck around with your meds without your doctor's supervision. You're taking a big risk by doing it on your own because withdrawal from antidepressants can be absolute hell. Physically, emotionally & mentally.
I'm bipolar but years ago I was misdiagnosed as merely having dysthymia with a generalized anxiety disorder. So, my doctor put me on Paxil & while it helped a bit with my depressive episodes it wasn't what I really needed. But, with therapy, I coped for a few years. Until my doctor retired suddenly & left many of his patients without prescriptions to carry them over until they could find a doctor to replace him. Including me.
So, I was forced to endure a hellish week going from the highest dose of Paxil allowable to nothing. Which, resulted in seven days of torture that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Massive depression & sadness, irritability through the roof. Insomnia & finally night terrors that kept waking me up whenever I did nod off. It was beyond awful. In retrospect, I should have gone into the psych ward. But, I toughed it out. But, I think many would have tried to off themselves. It was that bad.
But, I found a new doctor & therapist both of whom diagnosed me properly as being bipolar. And, they placed me on an off-label high dose of Effexor with an Abilify chaser. A combination that's done absolute wonders for me & turned my life around. In conjunction with regular counseling & the two of them rediagnosing me with ADD so that I could get back on my desperately needed Adderall, I began living life again & feeling great. And, I've been doing fantastic for years now. So, chill with the sudden cessation of your meds, bro.
If you're experiencing difficulties & adverse side effects from the drugs that you were on then speak to your doc about switching you to a different one. You're not supposed to feel like a zombie & for your sex drive to be a dead zone. If that's the case then go see your doc asap & demand to be put on something else. Obviously, it may be trial & error for a little while before they find what works for you.
As I was saying, though, never settle for poor health care or improper meds.
I'm on the highest dose of Effexor & a strong dose of Abilify along with Adderall & I have no adverse side effects at all. I still function at a high level, I feel great & I have an excellent sex life. So, you can be properly medicated without brain fog & sexual disfunction. But, it starts with you advocating for a change from your doctor & your not attempting to modify his treatment on your own.
I hope things go well for you, man. Take care.