- Joined
- Oct 6, 2008
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@Ottawaguy sent me this postcard from Florida. Below is what it said on the back.
Greetings from Florida,
Vacation is going great. Python wrapped around my head and popped my eyeball out. Makes me look tough doesn't it? I don't know if you can see in this pic, but a huge crab grabbed me by the dong. They say the swelling is going to be permanent so the old lady is quite excited.Wink wink.
Yea, BWR was right; there are bears in Florida. Took most of my right side. It took my liver, or appendix, or something. They say what doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger, so things are looking good. What really pissed me off was the selfie came out blurry. Damn iPhones!
Shark bit off my left hand. At the time I was so happy it wasn't my right hand if you know what I mean. LOL.BWR is so dumb. He told me panthers go for the neck, but this one went right for the scalp. Who's looking like a fool now? Got eem!!
@Myrddin Wild warned me about scorpions in your shoes. Took my right leg below the knee. They say Florida has more one-footed people than anywhere else in the world, so I should fit right in. Barracuda chomped off my right ear. Fast little creatures. I was in awe to see them in action.
Alligator ate my right hand, so the locals fashioned me this hook. I look like a pirate. Speaking of pirates, I got a pirate joke. What would I say if the crab had a steering wheel? "ARRRRRR. It's driving me nuts!". Haha. So many pirate jokes ahead.
Life's good, having a blast!!
Ottawaguy AKA "Floridaguy"
Source image on the background in spoiler
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Glad the postcard made it! In spite of all the friendly creatures loving me too much, the scariest part is driving around. Lifted trucks everywhere! My car rental is a Corolla, and it looks like a toy car in the middle of a monster truck rally. Thinking of adopting the bear, such a cuddly fellaw.
