RAW Is War (Recap Thread)

[Bang Bang]

remember that great theme song, the one that made you sit around the tv and watch about 2 or 3 hrs (well if you factor in the commercials, its just about 2 hrs at most, and one hour of its promos) of good ol rasslin!

props to cz, chris hyatte, and other old farts who used to recap raw. Ive stolen their format. zagbief, we in here, mama!

@WAR RANDLEMAN! @SOLID JUAN @sniper

7/4/16


FOURTH OF JULY SHOW! SO EXPECT IT TO BE A WEIRD, ALTERNATE REALITY LIKE HOLIDAY EPISODE


live from the wookie planet, eh I mean colombus, ohio - its raw!


we are starting off at a mess hall. filled with carnies, so of course, theres a lot of disgusting people doing disgusting things instead of being normal, functional people. big e is putting his ankle on xaviers shoulder and showing him his nutsack in the corner. Im completely serious. the cans are stuffing their faces with shitty food. zammy is trying hard not to be insignificant but failing. the pretty girls are putting extra ketchup on their food (why do they always do that). road dogg is in a corner smoking crank. oh, and it looks like the piggly wiggly did their catering.

r truth is on the mic and is rapping the desert storm song from 1992 when the crowd HEYS and HOS loudly to shut them up. did you know that goldust is in str8 up blackface right now?

the vaudeville villains take the mic and go on to sing an inspired, classic, authentical USA anthem, and for their troubles they get food thrown at them. BUILD A WALL ABOUT IT, DUDES!


big tough guy shameus stands up and grabs a ketchup bottle to squeeze it at someone. totally gay.


food fight breaks out (yes. yes). jerico continues to indulge in the swine however, and ignore his fellow countryman in trouble, as kane and the big show decide to stop bickering amongst each other and chokeslam zami zane onto a table. wow, so this IS a good fourth of july, for sure. big things coming for america

KO laughs aboot it and gets out from under the same table that cesaro and apollo were both arm wrestling each other at WHOA WTF. why and what was he doing there this whole time. kevin fat bally gets out and gets a creampie (of course) in the face. then he cries and follows it up with this heavily overacted, 'Im having a breakdown' scene. people actually like this guys character, like hes not one, big fat, walking neckbeard of a cliche. okaaayyyyyyyy

 

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lilian of the hairy bush tribe sings us the national anthem, and then rusef walks out. russian wild samoan vs titus o'creed in pinstriped patriotic pair of shorts - titus walks out dressed like uncle sam if he was a roid shooting black guy father. direct pandering. also, remember, this is also how that one rocky started when they killed apollo creed. smh


its probably the forth-fifth time these s fought each other in the past few weeks or so. its wearing really thin. actually, its done, we dont care get on with it vince. this is why your ratings suck.


however, bradshaw mentions lex luger body slamming yokozuna while on top of a USS battleship and you cant help but feel the wells of pride swell up in your veins. but then this trash of a match deflates it... smh AGAIN.




a lil back and forth in this match up, with boring moves competing with boring moves. clothesline for a clothesline. titus gets his finisher all off into rusevs back. rusev gets up, shakes it off and wants another go. feed him more. rusef says NO GOOD ENOUGH then turns the match around with a superkick, like everyone else does. he wins with a camel clutch and tells america to celebrate today with their little weenies.

wow just wow, some real controversial booking there guys, except no one really booed or cheered for shit after the first minute passed. I found it yawn inducing too.



LATER TONIGHT! TEAM USA VS THE BAD GUYS! 16 MAN TAG! AKA LETS CRAM ALL OF OUR CRAPPY GUYS IN ONE MATCH AND HOPE IT STICKS


the social outcasts aka the total-nonstop-action rejects aka the fail version of new day - walk out dressed like drummer boys for the minute men. thus, the italiano gooftroop, lil cokehead and big cockhead, walk out to break this up before the outcasts even talk. its like exchanging bird shit for dog shit.


enzhoe name checks a bunch of dead presidents and cass says 'howya doin' after them, showing everyone who likes them that theyre bad people and should feel bad. there was nothing in this promo. nothing... this alone should push them off the main show and back onto sunday night heat. yeah thats right. and sunday night heat doesnt even exist anymore, btw.

so enzo and big test walk out and wrestle the same match they always do. the same, crappy match. the little guy throws himself into people and gets beat up until he tags in the big guy to do his little wanna be nash moveset and they win.

so, they win. and enzo puts on a white george washington wig and spazzes out. lets move on.


minnesota wrecking crew member dana boobs and charlotte the horse walk around backstage, and dana rudely bumps into a guy with her breasts and shoulder real hard, knocking him off balance. she laughs at the shit. like some weird little dwarf bully.

 

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charles flair and dana muscles are in the ring. promo time... charlie says that the strongest emotion is 'jealousy.' typical woman.

sasha 'almost a white girl' walks out to go boo boo nahnah. no Im not, you are, Im the best. they have a tit for tat about 'whos the boss.' ITS CHARLES. CHARLES IN CHARGE.


sasha claims that the boss is not handed things. uh, pretty sure that 98.9% (exactly) of bosses have things handed to them so they can manage it. for the owners. OMG next feud!

chick fight breaks out, only this time to bra and no panties are stripped, because steffany is a bitch who thinks that women should be taken more serious. PFFFFFTTT. they commence to brawl poorly and this is why we need more HLA and less DIVA MATCHES

just earlier sasha said that charlotte is simply an old-school rip off, but at least she knows the old school well enough to cover up sashas blown spots. sasha slapped her knee loudly while she clearly air and missed dana with it, so char char made up for it by immediatly superkicking the fuck out of banks. hard - classic old school there.

sasha hits the bank statement on charlotte, and she freaks out and runs away. her and her father have a lot in common in that regard

 

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the miz vs lean ambrose - cole says we may never see this match again due to the wwe draft. shut it cole. miz does the whole 'I work body parts' thing to try and make smarks happy. woooo, really cool there, mizzy. maybe next time you can even try a suplex with a bridge.


jbl works us and says that the miz is an excellent actor ... up there with dicaprio and george clooney. whoa there, bradshaw. hes not a complete .

jbl then shoots and says 'you cant put ambroses face up on billoards.' you can tell as the show goes on that hes getting more and more drunk. he mentions barry windham again.


dean goes and sells his leg that miz attacked by merely doing every single thing he would normally do - including running really fast and jumping out of the ring, but just that now he grabs his leg after he does it. for two seconds. he wins after the miz misses his kick and he hits the cactus jack DDT. this was a champion vs champion match, btw. nobody mentioned it much or got it over because, you know. theyre bloody fuckin' idiots


seths music hits while mean dean is still in the ring, and then xanbrose walks out. they pass each other by on the ramp. this... is kinda weird. this has never been done before to my knowledge. deans slaps seth on the ass-side and walks off. wtf

 

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codean decides to charge the ramp, get inside the ring ... then do nothing, and sit ringside with the announcers. the spanish announcers, that is. double wtf


he spouts off nuggets of wisdom in spanish by saying things like 'wwe loco' 'celebraccion' and 'cerveza.' Im sure he was going to say something about warning you about the hookers in adelitas too, but I wasnt listening


out walks the washed up lead singer of poison vs seth rollinSS - rudolpho ziggler and seth commence to have a really good match up for a monday night raw. could have legit been on ppv. ziggler doesnt flip upside down when hes body chopped, and seth doesnt injure ziggler by being sloppy .also, jbl mentioned an old school wrestler whenever he could and called dean a cockroach. all signs of a great match up


the champ offers his rebuttal to the cockroach accusation and says 'hehehe, yeah man. cockroaches survive, dude. yeah.' and dean loses all of his cool points right there. hes lou spiccoli on downers tonight. not one bit 'lunatic' or anything. so seth wins after a cool reversal series with dolph, and he grabs the mic ringside to stand on the announcers table.


seth says that hes worked hard. the crowd cheers. he says that roman shouldnt be given another chance. crowd cheers. hes a heel, right? he then tries to REALLY draw the ire of the crowd and says that the people out there all cheat and lie!! the crowd cheers even harder. dummy.


dean picks up a mic, yadda yadda throws the belt at seth and then charges him while jumping off the top of the other table. hes throwing some sissy assed drunk man punches, I should note. then he does a dirty deed ddt on top of the table, but it doesnt break. crowd chants one more time but dean says fuck it Im off ta sniff a line. cut to commercial.


still wasnt bad

 

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the wyatt hillbilly family is in a barn somewhere, trying to create a wrestling promo out of a crappy marilyn manson imitation video. but its not very impressive.


the rated r superstar baron corbin gets a similar vignette but it sucks even more. try putting on a fluffy shirt and walking out with a goblet next time, ass wipe


vicky guerrero aka mamacita carne walks out to a podium thats on the ramp looking and shrieking like any 30+ barrio mother built like a soda can. shes recklessly belting out slander at other possible smackdown! general managers, but security then escorts her out. if she wasnt supposed to be there, then why was there a podium for her to begin with?



big slow is wearing a flag themed singlet and hes telling everyone standing on Team USA standing in formation - that we're all one. its one for all and all for one. the truth is out there. black lives matter. plymouth rock, landed on - hey shit is that mark henry?
next up, more


goldust and r too hotty vs the vaudeville cans - OH BOY! FRESH CONTENT CAN BE FOUND RIGHT HERE! r is rapping some bootleg lil romeo lyrics and I dont know why he even bothers. they win, I dont want this anymore


darren young vs relevancy - same video from last raw, so lets try to forget about this guy until he walks out an we have to ignore him again

 

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juan cena gives a promo about aj styles and he continues to talk too much and explain things. mr cliff notes of all his fueds. this is why you need a mean gene.


aj cracker barrel walks out and says that cenas whining lol. he also says that hes alone, because hes a prick and a selfish mofo. no one will help him. actually, no one will help him because hes superman and he doesnt need it. duh


they start losing their shit and talk about dressing up like the bushwackers and brutus the barber. I think that in order to fully embrace your 'click' heritage you have to gay it up a bit.


speaking of which - the new age wiggers walk out ITS BIG TEST AND POOMBA! I dont know who is getting the rub from who, but I guess thats to be expected when youre looking at two (three) different lame balls joining up. they clear the ring and da club look like the opposite of the nWo

julio and junio, the matadors in fantasy island shirts start talking about how great their country is, and how their beach isnt commercialized like american beaches. true. but its also because its poor and there no money there. so I guess if you like vacationing cheap and seeing a place where your hooker dollars will stretch far, then porto rico is your place, papicito!


becky wench vs summer rae - summer rae is hailing out of the pornhub ham n egger class - cus I know Im not the only one who sees her as a third string porn star. like something out of the early 2000s too. a zshare era broad.


summer goes on to almost break beckys neck by fucking up a simple suplex. actually, becky looked a LITTLE at fault, since she jumped up before summer could get her footing right. it looked like a japanese flying ddt brainbuster. cool


becky lynch wins, no biggie. she had a good series of moves, but ends the match with a stiff forearm to the face and a sub. I dont care what its called. her music sounds a lot like zammys and because of that song reminding me of him, I hate it.

 

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jerico is backstage with 'team bad guys' aka the foreigners. he tells dos caras in spanish that he doesnt like his family his face or his mouth, and del rios suddenly shuts up and has nothing to say.

typical. KO belts out that hes mad as hell and isnt gonna take it any longer! him and zamuel zane are gonna fuck this up I can tell already man

sonic sponsored a scene where big test and coke demon fight over a corndog. gayyyyy

the new day twerk team comes out to talk about the wyfats and how theyre just inbred s who sex their sisters. way to spread the positivity there. they are also invited to the wyatts compound, and the new day plans to show up and ... offer them some booty. so, let me get this straight... no, no theres no getting that straight. forget it


wyfats show up on the titantron cutting a b-movie horror promo complete with the hills have eyes filters on the camera. xavier doesnt know what to do, so he just cries about it. go cry about it, chump


cesaro the wrestling stripper gram, kalisto and sin can-a with del rios, shameus, kevin fatneck with y2j and zammy zane vs the big slob, zack jobber, bisexual chocolate, lack swagger, the dud-ly boyz, and apollo yawn - brace yourselves murica


look no dam pbp here. zack ryder wins by pinning shameus. see, I told you this shit was some alternate reality episode. KO and zammy also fought ho hum. fireworks hit, we're outta here!

 

[StRatoCastR]

Lol I love this! Really digging your style keep up the great work. Very entertaining, your version and commentary are far better than the live RAW

 

[Bang Bang]

thanks, hoss

 

[Bang Bang]

RAW IS WAUUGH

7-11-16

we are welcomed by maggle cole telling us that tonight, is a special night here on raw, as superstars will be trying to better their standings, because it could change their lives ... forever - and holy hell shut up cole.

cans... cans everywhere inside the ring. oh - we will be having a battle royal? why? are they ever really that exciting? I wonder how much turnbuckle offense (ahem stalling, I mean), and 'pretend to push a guy over the top rope' we will have tonight!


miz is on the stick and he calls this must-see tv because hes a twit.

this is a battle royal to determine the next contender for the secondary title that gets passed around more than the european title did. shit I see the usos here. and the ascension. jobber tag teams here for no goddamn reason. brand split, its like youre here already



cole asks miz if he gets split up with his fine piece of french ass mayreese due to the upcomming draft, whats he gonna do?miz says he is talking to his people, his lawyers, managers, agents, and publicists for that. in other words, he blows paterson

a lot of boring turnbuckle offense and 'pretend to throw a guy over the top rope' goes on.


usles no # 1 throws brother usles no # 2 over the top, however he scooches back under the ropes before touching the floor, just laugh about it with his brother. serious, what a thing to do. and you dont even wait for the rest to get eliminated, no, you just throw your one true ally, your own flesh n blood over the top rope for a quick ticket to you vs everyone else? just, no words to describe how stupid it is


at LEAST wait until you and your man are the last two, this way it assures that one of you will win. its your best chance of getting to the last stage! do it like double dragon.


Im out of sorts right now. such a dumb thing for them to do. I need a lie down



bob backlund is ringside to yell at darren young, who is apparently in this match up. whut. bradshaw says that he had a great coach himself, backlund that is, the great scott cholera. huh? fuck outta here


da miz earnestly says that he doesnt even think the superkick that del rios does on baron corbin existed back when bob backlund was wrestling. yes, it did, pinhead. they just didnt spam it every two minutes because they wanted to other guy to lay down for a while

swear, these new guys can be such dumb asses. stupid idiots


lol darren young wins because everyone else launched themselves over the top with clotheslines and silly hip tosses. bob backlund celebrates with his ward by picking him up like a newlywed.to the delight of the audience. he puts him down and darren goes for the extra hug but bob ducks it and runs in circles. totally gay


I would have liked it if bob interfered while darren wasnt looking -and helped him win the match. that way its like darren thinks he did it by himself when he didnt. face wrestler, heel manager. book it, bucko

 

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raw 7-11-16 part 2

(wow I have to force myself to watch this shit. nitro reruns are legit betta)

steph and shane have yet another back and forth, but all of their sexual chemistry is gone. seth shows up and mentions his embarassing 'rock n rassling' moment when he got involved with john stewart. not doing yourself any favors there seth.


viedo package for brock and his recent MMA victory over mark hunt. heh. heh heh. heheheheheh


hes called the greatest combat athlete in worlds history. I would tell cole to shut up, because now is the perfect time (its always the perfect time) - yet its strangely satisfying to hear him say something stupid this time after recent alligations against brock. HES JUST JACKED, ASSHOLES



zack ryder talks smack to rusef backstage, and gets smacked. awesome. he then walks out for his fight with shameus. superstars match here we go

shameus has a cross on his shorts that makes it look like he skidmarked it. he begs for mercy mid match like a shit heel version of ric flair, and later wins with the prince albert kick.


rusef runs to the ring once zack jobs, and puts him in the recliner camel clutch. is this the next fool to job to rusef? not interested

 

[StRatoCastR]

Nice recap over the whole thing. This monday night raw sucked though.(the show not your commentary) Hopefully the draft reboots and injects some energy into wwe.

 

[Bang Bang]

Nice recap over the whole thing. This monday night raw sucked though.(the show not your commentary) Hopefully the draft reboots and injects some energy into wwe.

thanks. and as far as the reboots bringing in more interest, I would fucking hope so! if they call up enough nxt guys and old cans, it might just get interesting again

 

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fandango and gay indie guy walk out. breeze wango tango vs lucha cans - previously the lucha dragons threw tylers drink in his face like a chick. thus, a would be great match up ends up on raw, watered down and full of half gearted lucha style wrestling. ooo, look now there is a springboard elbow. wow, a huricanrana. who would have thought


jbl says that after a brand split he went onto the weaker show, got a lengthy title reign, lost his dumb steer gimmick and became irwin r shyster, while ron simmons went on to just evaporate from wwe existence. damn.

the lucha dragons are so damn kiddie and suck. this isnt even lucha libre, its some wwe hybrid of boring little guy flies into bigger guys. they fly into a turnbuckle, a superkick, and a rollup pin. next match



seth rollins is out to his trash metal theme music. hes gonna host a segment like hes rowdy roddy piper. is this supposed to be any good, or is it just what theyve been doing with everyone else?


seth changes things up by interviewing a pre recorded roman gains and asking questions that he never answered via split screen. not very cutting edge but aiht

 

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dean on lean walks out to say 'wooo dude! cool man! party hardy' seth whines and gets over more than dean. hmph.


does some goof out there have a new jack sign? no, nonono. leave that guy to the indies where he can OD or get shot up somewhere in a hotel parking lot.



xambrose gets serious and yells at seth. seth walks away. I dont think that segment really did anything of any worth - since that whole 'I will fight you at anytime' thing didnt peter out


smackdown! recap. Im not even going into that. but needless to tell you, zammy sane, KO, and y2j were involved. it turned out like, oh who cares, there is no consequence to that match. they all kept their precious 'heat.' you could book this yourself and it wouldnt stink Im sure


zane is ringside with cole and jbl, but KO talks to steff and gets him removed. yay, fat guy is a savior.



then he yells at zane, 'hey where are ya goin, eh?' uuhhhh, the fuck? you just got him removed.


vincent k macman rolls in and he looks slimmer and younger than before. drinking and feeding off of the blood from his jobber squad must keep him young



back to the ring, and cesaro is going to face off against kevin o'hesfat. I paid no attention to this match, but Im going to assume that it was average for these two.


cesaro the manslut does about 15 uppercuts in the corner to KO, but after the fifth uppercut, they all looked half hearted and empty. hey dudes, heres an idea. how about instead of 15 uppercuts, you just do one really effective? so that way you dont overexpose the move and make the match draw out like that. now the uppercut looks weaker cus you have to throw like 50 of them a match to get over.



cesaro then takes his male stripper gimmick to a new level by taking bradshaws fucking cowboy hat and runs around with it. cole points that out for us, (wow cole) and jbl says he is very proud. of course he is. hes part time gay.


KO wins with this torture rack into a reverse f5. Im sure it has some japanese name to it, like the twisting burn-cycle aplomb bomb, but who gives a shit


zammy runs in after the match, cesaro hits his airplane move on kevin leotard under the shirt, and everyone can go home happy.



you can find aj in da club, and he says to renee that john cena is selfish. he thinks hes the whole franchise. but hes too busy to be here, because hes filming a crappy show, instead of wrestling. even if hes not injured. he just described shawn micheals tho, the idol and leader of the click that hes based off of. poor country boy, just confused

 

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the job squad walks out and have a backstage promo which played like a very bad new day skit. the social outcasts v titus o'black - remember when I talked about seeing a 'superstars' match tonight? this really is one. in the ring the social outcasts are like brian christopher and scotty whatever his name is, before they got over. just dumb spazzes who dance and bump for the roid monsters.


titus wins and does that stupid fraternity dog step thing or whatever

sasha doggy dog says to renee that this past weekend when she was getting her hair did, people told her to shut up dana brooks for 'em. yeah right. no one watches this shit anymore, and if they did they probably would have said the name 'stephanie'




oh boy. wyatts hillbilly family vs new day. alert the vanguard and tell groundskeeper benjamin to prepare the massacre. quick recap beforehand, and xavier is acting like a lil bitch.




grainy video filters are used to an extreme effect; an effect of durr, that is. new day get out of their car for no reason in the middle of nowhere. theyre in a dark field, and suddenly their car gets smashed by another car. the wyatts get out. face off. all of a sudden I miss kevin owens and his crappy promos where he whines



a hardcore match breaks out, where people grab each others heads and try to smash them into stuff, but the guy manages to put his hands up before anything happens. I think I see a cookie sheet.


xavier too hotty gets carried away by bray on his shoulders. yes, like a little bitch. he then gets thrown in the wyatts car. brawl ends with people getting spinebustered on mud, and bray crying on his knees. he says 'follow, the muscles' or something like that. we cut to jbl and he acts like he never saw final deletion and tries to sell the thing like owen hart died again. this shit sucked for real


it lacked the semi-awareness that hardy v hardy had. read that again. those two bammas arent even conscious half time due to drugs.

 

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da club is out to fight spongebob scrub and big test - oh man, they want big test to do the talking. he puts over cena. he says 'boneless' as an insult. aj retorts and all I notice is his nicely conditioned hair. serious, its rediculous how it looks this guy belongs in a pantene commercial.


there can be seen this big chunky girl holding up a sign that says 'you sawft.' really ...? these are their fans.


horace hogan and doug bashem are in this tag team match so forget it, no aj, then this match is bound to be mediocre. I dont care if they were big in japan, their wwe matches are watered down and boring. I dont give out points if you dont perform well at this time.


speaking of which, aj pulls the rope down and test falls out after almost getting the pin. da club get DQ'd, we can go now.


the music guy ques up john cenas music - oh no, why? damn you, damn you, damn you!



dana brook and dickless flair vs sasha banks - #divamatchesmatter. only they dont, this is like the co-main event or something?


dana does a handspring titty press. banks holds it together with decent selling and a good offense. then she cries and sits down for a bit, getting emotional. its like playing softball with someones lil sister. you have to stop the action because of 'feelings' and stuff. I say all this good stuff about sashas offense and they blatantly telegraph the finish. awkward, for all of us.



charlotte grabs the mic and talks about people that arent 'deserving' of things. the daughter of ric flair whos getting lengthy title reigns and says wooo off the strength of her father. she also asks for a repeat match with sasha and dana tomorrow on smackdown!, hey gtfo with that




vince macman, shane, and steffany are doing what would normally be their early show promo, but at the end this time. plenty of shrieking voices. plenty of accusations, and plenty of macman bullshit. somehow its not as terrible as I thought itd be, and I dont want to see them on tv even ...


shane said he returned to the wwe five months ago. I dont remember a single thing he did other than that one match against the undertaker, where he cribbed off of foleys classic battle with taker.


he also said that he doesnt kiss vinnys ass, but we know betta

another

OH OKAY THEN, this is their little trump v hilary segment. shane v steph. I get it. shane works up the crowd for his side, and steph lets the cat out the bag and says that hes only manipulating children. the whole show, the FUCKING ENTIRE WWE/WWF IS ABOUT THAT

vince gets a drumroll before calling his hand and trump wins. I mean shane. I mean... fuck its late anyways and I forced myself thru this. shane is on smackdown! and steph is on raw. theyre revisting the invasion angle .... but trying to do it for reals this time, y'all. see you all next time, heterosexual cowboys and bisexual cowgirls

 

[Bang Bang]

we start this in the ring with steph. oh boy, I can see what kinda show this is gonna be. gonna run thru this one.

shane jigs his way out, goes tit for fat with steff, and then out comes our new raw gm - foley. he gets a weak response and looks like an old wizard. he cuts a boring promo that no one cares about, does he think its tna now?


shane omac calls out his gm, and its teenwolf. woop wooop
daniel bryant pulls his hand away from steph going for the hand shake. shane combs his hair like he puled his hand back like a bumbling twat


danny goes onto play to the crowd more refined and more effectively than foley has since he had socko. shane says that steph married hhh to stay relevant, meanwhile hhh has to be a little troubled about this statement, since really, he married stephany to stay relevant. heatception


baron corbin bio with some facts about him flahses on sheet. strange, there is no mention of hair plugs


KO my waistline w y2j v generico w cesaro and litas lacy arm thingies on - cole has learned to call moves correctly and hes still sucks. zayn falls out of the ring and puts his hand out for the tag. really, guy?

jerico gets pinned via roll up, but the match was just a mish mash of what you have already seen

daniels bryan talks to steph about nothing, he stalls a bit on his lines, and we need to move on

 

[Bang Bang]

cena is out to a raucous cheer of JOHN CENA SUUUUCKS which deflates his entrance lol. he has the mic, oh god. he starts explaining shit, its live, brand split coming up, da club, blah blah blah. he calls out the new age cans for some heat to leech off


coke-y monster actively promotes illiteracy and calls gallows ugly. he also said that aj has a soccer mom haircut, but its more like a pantene models due to the fluff, but whatev; cena cuts off enzo in midway of his promo, for (winning the crowd with humor) only spitting punchlines. jealous mofo

this is all actually basic thugonomics, but cena must have forgotten it since hes now just mr dad jorts, the wrestler. aj walks out w the club to put themselves over but we know its not really a big deal. japan, woo woo ring the bells huh. new day walks out to twerk and mention pokemon go.

you ever question if the wwe targets kids, watch this

wyatts walk out, and we have a match