Media *** Random Tito Ortiz Videos MEGA THREAD ***

[HHJ]

How in the fuck did this guy become the mayor of Huntington Beach?

For the lols,thats how

 

[Bushpig]

Edge of your seat stuff right there.

Time for fish fingers.

 

[Pancake Sprawl]

No, because we learn to handle knives in our version of school... No company would be able to insure dudes off the street wielding choppers out back, even though that's essentially how you're hired, and what the job entails.

Generally you'll go weeks without anyone cutting themselves in a kitchen, and when it does happen its normally from something retarded like opening a box, or stabbing yourself shucking an oyster... The meat slicing machine takes a lot of casualties too..... Burns are another story - all service chefs have at least one popped blister somewhere that could easily contaminate your food with that drippy shit that comes out of them... But no blood.

 

[Ovie]

And then if he has no fingers he can't even reach for his grapes.

And forget about the tiny violin...

 

[jmag]

GNP the onion, far better promo, trying to be elegant and shit.

 

[BEATDOWNS]

Best idea ever... Lets work on it.

I have another idea meanwhile - online MMA cooking classes:

Lesson 1: Food prep by Tito Ortiz
Lesson 2: BBQ By Anderson and Chael
Lesson 3: Ice Cream Sundaes with Carla Esparza
Lesson 4: Advanced Ice Cream Eating with Fedor Emilienko
Lesson 5: Sald (Vegan) Broccoli eateng class with Lyoto Machida
Lesson 6: Hydration, also with Lyoto Machida
Lesson 7: Tiramisu with Khabib Nurmagomedov

I figure we do online seminars and charge $200 per person, split 50% with the fighter, 20% with the platform, then that leaves 30%, which leaves 15% each for us so I figure we need about 30x participants to make it worthwhile for everyone involved.

Let's do this.

<mma2>

Lesson 8: Horse

 

[HHJ]

Best idea ever... Lets work on it.

I have another idea meanwhile - online MMA cooking classes:

Lesson 1: Food prep by Tito Ortiz
Lesson 2: BBQ By Anderson and Chael
Lesson 3: Ice Cream Sundaes with Carla Esparza
Lesson 4: Advanced Ice Cream Eating with Fedor Emilienko
Lesson 5: Sald (Vegan) Broccoli eateng class with Lyoto Machida
Lesson 6: Hydration, also with Lyoto Machida
Lesson 7: Tiramisu with Khabib Nurmagomedov

I figure we do online seminars and charge $200 per person, split 50% with the fighter, 20% with the platform, then that leaves 30%, which leaves 15% each for us so I figure we need about 30x participants to make it worthwhile for everyone involved.

Let's do this.

<mma2>

I think Khabib could make a mean Cheese Borger also

 

[geardo]

It’s amazing he’s lived as long as he has

Darwin has shitty aim. That's the only explanation that doesn't give me an existential crisis.

 

[Joe]

The best part of it is how he confidently says show you how to cut an onion

 

[Joe]

Holy shit, that was scary.

I've been a chef for nearly 25 years, and this is absolutely how you cut your fingers off.

Literally everything is wrong from the knife he chose to use, to his free hand positioning, and technique... He didnt even peel them.

This video reminds of those videos they play for employees on how to be safe at work. Those corny videos that you shake your head cause you cant believe people are that stupid..

 

[ImLovinIt]

I love how Tito is funny not on purpose.

 

[BEATDOWNS]

I think Khabib could make a mean Cheese Borger also

Wanderlei's weekly diet:

Monday - chicken and the rice
Tuesday - rice and the chicken
Wednesday - chicken and the rice
Thursday - rice and the chicken
Friday - chicken and the rice.

 

[vivi]

Holy shit Tito is the gift that keeps on giving that was hilarious

 

[Paolo Delutis]

This shit was so traumatic for me that I had to chop something for my Sherbros.

I chopped these a while ago, but still...

Noice julienned into full chopped ...pro stuff

But did you cry.?

 

[Paolo Delutis]

The danger would almost be to a safe level, if Tito would just simply substitute the machete with literally anything else.























Tito bless

Its redneck level thinking ahhaha ..

I need to cut this pine 2X4 ..

Normal brain - ill use my circular saw

Tito/redneck brain - Get the chainsaw boys

 

[Rio Ferdinand]

That was seriously the most distressing thing I've seen in a while.

And why the fuck is he using a Machete to cut onions..

 

[Buff]

Noice julienned into full chopped ...pro stuff

But did you cry.?

Man, that's the one thing you can never train - you can get used to holding hit things, standing for 17 hours, and the heat... But your eyes never get used to cutting onions in the morning, especially if you've been smoking weed.

Spanish onions are notoriously vicious.

 

[Paolo Delutis]

Man, that's the one thing you can never train - you can get used to holding hit things, standing for 17 hours, and the heat... But your eyes never get used to cutting onions in the morning, especially if you've been smoking weed.

Spanish onions are notoriously vicious.

I heard from Chef Ramsay if u avoid the root side its supposed to make it happen less...but honestly ive never had a different experience then tears hahaha...

I attempted the Chef life once ...took too much on too young and got out of the heat . ..but love to cook ..

Its a tough job man not alot of people dont understand the difference between home cooking one meal for 5 and doing it for 40 guests sometimes at once

 

[Buff]

I heard from Chef Ramsay if u avoid the root side its supposed to make it happen less...but honestly ive never had a different experience then tears hahaha...

I attempted the Chef life once ...took too much on too young and got out of the heat . ..but love to cook ..

Its a tough job man not alot of people understand the difference between home cooking one meal for 5 and doing it for 40 guests sometimes at once

The root is where most of the heat comes from, so if you're fast enough to chop and then throw it away then it does minimise the effect, but you're still standing over a cloud of chopped onion funk - luckily extraction is a thing, but that shit is napalm on the eyeballs either way.

Cheffing was brutal. I don't do the restaurant grind anymore, I'm too old and broken now - back, wrist, neck, nasty ass varicose veins, and various substance issues... Its a young man's game. I'm private now. Much better life, but I had to pay serious dues.

Cheffing doesn't leave time for much else - I used to pay for BJJ classes and so on and would only turn up to one class from a 3 month open subscription. Family events weren't an option because weekends were always the busiest time, you end up a terrible pervert becausebthe only women you see are the waitresses or late night bar hags, and once you start drinking and turning up with a hangover, you end up drinking in the morning just to function.

Having said all of that, I learned a shitload, and I wouldn't change a thing.

 

[sdpdude9]

Shocking to me how few people know how to handle a knife, seems like I see a video every other day of somebody nearly chopping their fingers off. Word of advice if you don’t know how, first off learn how. Second off, wear a cutting glove if you haven’t learned or are inexperienced.

I worked in a kitchen years ago and was taught by a chef. Big problem for many people is choosing the wrong tool, chef’s knife is my best friend. I could count on one hand how many times I’ve cut myself since then and they were all due to being careless and/or distracted.