Media *** Random Tito Ortiz Videos MEGA THREAD ***

[EndlessCritic]

I would judge, but when I was 20 I sliced my finger trying to cut a butternut squash with a machete.

 

[AmericanMMA]

The worst part is, most normal people doing this, you can be confident the video's gonna be fine and nothing terrible is gonna happen, cuz why would they post it? But with Tito, he could legitimately have severed a finger and still upload it, so this was nerve-wracking.

Honestly, I'd rather watch him attempt to box again over more of this.

yeah man, he’d be like the jackchop guy, but in real life…

 

[Davidjacksonjones]

Oh no! Why did i have to watch this stressful video. I already gotta worry about bills, and other stuff, now tito cutting onions

 

[whooty]

Legit one of the funniest video's I've seen this week

Tito would be better off in a padded room

 

[mahavishnunj]

I was thinking,"How can you be retarded enough to fuck up cutting an onion, then choose to post it online? Oh yeah, it's Tito".

 

[ChimRichalds]

No, because we learn to handle knives in our version of school... The meat slicing machine takes a lot of casualties too... No company would be able to insure dudes off the street wielding choppers out back, even though that's essentially how you're hired, and what the job entails.

Generally you'll go weeks without anyone cutting themselves in a kitchen, and when it does happen its normally from something retarded like opening a box, or stabbing yourself shucking an oyster... Burns are another story - all service chefs have at least one popped blister somewhere that could easily contaminate your food with that drippy shit that comes out of them... But no blood.

I wish I could count how many times I've cut myself on a god damn box. You'd think eventually I'd stop tearing them apart like an animal, but no.

As for the video, absolutely horrifying. I don't think I've ever seen even the greenest of beginners attempt to cut an onion like that lmao.

 

[Mcnugget]

I actually had to turn it off lol

 

[Buff]

This shit was so traumatic for me that I had to chop something for my Sherbros.

I chopped these a while ago, but still...

 

[Buff]

I wish I could count how many times I've cut myself on a god damn box. You'd think eventually I'd stop tearing them apart like an animal, but no.

As for the video, absolutely horrifying. I don't think I've ever seen even the greenest of beginners attempt to cut an onion like that lmao.

Boxes are the worst. They always get you in the creases too so they take forever to heal...

Wanna know the real kitchen finger killer?

Or its evil aunt Mandoline

I get shudders when I look at that mandoline.

 

[Mohawk Banditó]

I wish I could count how many times I've cut myself on a god damn box. You'd think eventually I'd stop tearing them apart like an animal, but no.

As for the video, absolutely horrifying. I don't think I've ever seen even the greenest of beginners attempt to cut an onion like that lmao.

Boxes are monsters. Pulling out a cardboard splinter is always kinda embarrassing

Buff ma dude! So I'd like your thoughts. I mentioned above googling cutting methods cuz I was always doing towards the root too. But I found this video, and since I see you've got tons of experience, I figured I'd ask your impression on it.

 

[AL-Tappo McSnappo]

I feel like we need to ban Tito from cutting onions for the sake of his fingers.

i was sure he would chop his fingers

 

[corrupted]

Jesus. He can’t even cut an onion

 

[Roop Holstry]

Boxes are the worst. They always get you in the creases too so they take forever to heal...

Wanna know the real kitchen finger killer?

Or its evil uncle

I get shudders when I look at that mandoline.

The worst kitchen injuries I’ve seen were from Mandolines and oyster knives. One guy sliced his finger so bad he had to get skin grafts. The oyster knife was a puncture wound that had the man spurting blood a couple feet.

 

[RightToBareKnuckles]

That’s what I thought. Not the clearest video but I think he had blood all over that onion

It took a genius like Tito to figure out how to get blood from a turnip: first put blood into the turnip/onion

 

[loisestrad]

Burns are another story - all service chefs have at least one popped blister somewhere that could easily contaminate your food with that drippy shit that comes out of them... But no blood.

Good to know that it's all blisters, no blood!

 

[SakurabasEar]

Go to Tito's cantina

Get served taco bowl with half of tito's index finger in it

 

[Bballfan123]

It took a genius like Tito to figure out how to get blood from a turnip: first put blood into the turnip/onion

Society: you cant get blood from a turnip

Tito: Doesn't add up, I'm filled with blood, tons of blood, it shoots out my holes I got so much blood..I'll use my own blood smart guy... When I get my blood back I'll have my blood and turnip blood. I'll have double blood

Tito is a legit genius, he can defeat metaphors. Other fighters fight people, Tito has evolved to fighting figures of speech. AND HES WINNING

GOAT

 

[dont_axe]

The danger would almost be to a safe level, if Tito would just simply substitute the machete with literally anything else.























Tito bless

 

[Only Here for Attachments]

I'd go there if Tito was the waiter

 

[MuffinsAppletree]

I feel like we need to ban Tito from cutting onions for the sake of his fingers.

I watched the whole video. Tito is the gift that keeps on giving. Love him