Raising a child from the get go with 50/50 custody

[Evangelion]

seriously you are going to get her kid taken away because she smokes weed? Are you fucking kidding me?

 

[Jacket time]

Also NEVER under any circumstance give her money. Write a check and note on the check its for your kid and what its for. Trust me if you do this it will make it much easier.

Yes indeed


When my daughter turned 10, The ex and I wrote up a document that my child support would change from 678 to 300$ a month. We had it notarized at the bank.

We then went to Child Support services and had them drop the garnishment/enforcement of the order.

3/4 yrs pass by and she takes me back to court. Guess what, the state said, I was behind like 30k in child support. The state had only dropped enforcing the order, I was still incurring arrears that whole time.

The took everything outta my bank accounts, tried to take my drivers license and started garnishing me 1,017$ a month.

They wanted to throw my ass in jail.

Luckily, I had cancelled checks to save my ass...
Sadly, they were only for 300$ a month...the state wanted that extra 378$ for each month.

Bastards

 

[Squirting Gun]

Yes indeed


When my daughter turned 10, The ex and I wrote up a document that my child support who change from 678 to 300$ a month. We had it notarized at the bank.

We then went to Child Support services and had them drop the garnishment/enforcement of the order.

3/4 yrs pass by and she takes me back to court. Guess what, the state said, I was behind like 30k in child support. The state had only dropped enforcing the order, I was still incurring arrears that whole time.

The took everything outta my bank accounts, tried to take my drivers license and started garnishing me 1,017$ a month.

They wanted to throw my ass in jail.

Luckily, I had cancelled checks to save my ass...

Damn man that was a close one. Ive heard and seen so many horror stories regarding child support. You have to cover your ass any way you can.

One of my best friends got fucked hard. His old lady and him were together for the first 3 years they had their son. One day she leaves him outta the blue and moves away with another guy, taking his child. He was sending her $500 a month for his son in money orders. Since he didnt note anything he got fucked. 6 years later she takes him to court for back child support and put him in over $35 grand in debt even though he had been paying out of his own good will. When they went to court she said he was giving her the money because she leant him money to buy a car. He never even had a car the whole time except for a shitty one he had for 12 years.

The judge was such an asshole and only allowed him every other weekend to see his son. Well she kept moving and not telling him where she was so he couldnt see him. He then took her to court and the judge told him its his fault for not knowing where she was living. I feel horrible for my buddy, he is an awesome Dad too.

 

[Jacket time]

Damn man that was a close one. Ive heard and seen so many horror stories regarding child support. You have to cover your ass any way you can.

One of my best friends got fucked hard. His old lady and him were together for the first 3 years they had their son. One day she leaves him outta the blue and moves away with another guy, taking his child. He was sending her $500 a month for his son in money orders. Since he didnt note anything he got fucked. 6 years later she takes him to court for back child support and put him in over $35 grand in debt even though he had been paying out of his own good will. When they went to court she said he was giving her the money because she leant him money to buy a car. He never even had a car the whole time except for a shitty one he had for 12 years.

The judge was such an asshole and only allowed him every other weekend to see his son. Well she kept moving and not telling him where she was so he couldnt see him. He then took her to court and the judge told him its his fault for not knowing where she was living. I feel horrible for my buddy, he is an awesome Dad too.

Wow that royally sucks.

What a fucking whore.


I have seen all too many times, the judge consider any monies given straight to the Ex..... a gift.


Now I have a drawer in my filing cabinet filled for such nonsense...I learned the hard way

 

[Grooboggle]

Yes indeed


When my daughter turned 10, The ex and I wrote up a document that my child support would change from 678 to 300$ a month. We had it notarized at the bank.

We then went to Child Support services and had them drop the garnishment/enforcement of the order.

3/4 yrs pass by and she takes me back to court. Guess what, the state said, I was behind like 30k in child support. The state had only dropped enforcing the order, I was still incurring arrears that whole time.

The took everything outta my bank accounts, tried to take my drivers license and started garnishing me 1,017$ a month.

They wanted to throw my ass in jail.

Luckily, I had cancelled checks to save my ass...
Sadly, they were only for 300$ a month...the state wanted that extra 378$ for each month.

Bastards

This is pretty much a truism everywhere. Child support is considered for the kids and your ex can't really let it go if you go to court. The court has pretty narrow guidelines on stuff like this. Judges don't really give a shit about your personal choices unless they are incredibly dangerous or criminal. And you both will be in a world of shit if you actively fight for custody. In Ohio there will be a guardian acting for the courts who will visit both of you both announced and unannounced whose sole role is to decide in the best interests of the kids. This is expensive as hell and who really wants someone to show up several times at random to see how they are living.

Never give anything in cash or check in my opinion always make sure the court has a record of monies given and that it is for child support or it will often be considered a gift.

 

[Jacket time]

In Ohio there will be a guardian acting for the courts who will visit both of you both announced and unannounced whose sole role is to decide in the best interests of the kids. This is expensive as hell and who really wants someone to show up several times at random to see how they are living.

Been there done that, thankfully he took my side

 

[Grooboggle]

Damn man that was a close one. Ive heard and seen so many horror stories regarding child support. You have to cover your ass any way you can.

One of my best friends got fucked hard. His old lady and him were together for the first 3 years they had their son. One day she leaves him outta the blue and moves away with another guy, taking his child. He was sending her $500 a month for his son in money orders. Since he didnt note anything he got fucked. 6 years later she takes him to court for back child support and put him in over $35 grand in debt even though he had been paying out of his own good will. When they went to court she said he was giving her the money because she leant him money to buy a car. He never even had a car the whole time except for a shitty one he had for 12 years.

The judge was such an asshole and only allowed him every other weekend to see his son. Well she kept moving and not telling him where she was so he couldnt see him. He then took her to court and the judge told him its his fault for not knowing where she was living. I feel horrible for my buddy, he is an awesome Dad too.

I find it difficult to believe your friend was giving an accurate interpretation of events. Family court judges have seen everything and while certainly they are used to giving the woman primary physical custody....they also see interference with visitation a lot. Its a criminal act and relatively easy to get contempt of court charges filed and upheld against someone who engages in it.
He should have been proactive in seeking custody and visitation if someone moves away you can generally force them to pay travel expenses both ways if its a hardship.

I am not sure why people don't educate themselves even a little one of the first things most child support websites will say and any attorney you talk to would tell you is that money given with no court order is going to be seen as a gift.

 

[Yompton]

TS, I hope you're paying attention!

I honestly believe your best course of action is to try to get along with he old lady and raise the kids together for a while. Like I said, she's being affected by hormones, and they can affect women immensely. You have to take her sour moments with a huge grain of salt. If you guys raise the baby together for a half of a year, and you still aren't feeling the relationship, then bounce.

This gives you time to see what kind of mother she is, to shed yourself in a positive light, and work in your favor of a civil divorce. It's doesn't hurt to go through he parenting process with a partner either. Baby years are the hard years IMO. Do either of you have children now?

 

[Grooboggle]

TS, I hope you're paying attention!

I honestly believe your best course of action is to try to get along with he old lady and raise the kids together for a while. Like I said, she's being affected by hormones, and they can affect women immensely. You have to take her sour moments with a huge grain of salt. If you guys raise the baby together for a half of a year, and you still aren't feeling the relationship, then bounce.

This gives you time to see what kind of mother she is, to shed yourself in a positive light, and work in your favor of a civil divorce. It's doesn't hurt o go through he parenting process with a partner either. Baby years are the hard years.

As well getting an uncontested legal custody agreement will save you both a lot of heartache and money. Same with a divorce. You can ask any old shit in pre trial meetings and hearings but that stuff largely won't matter in court will only lead to hurt feelings and possible years of animosity. You will be tied to this woman so long as you have the child.

Say a relatively cheap big custody fight at 40k or so if it gets mean.....that's an awful lot of child support. And take it to the bank the time with your kids is for most reasonable separated parents totally negotiated on the fly and you'll get much much more by being reasonable instead of trying to get it all laid out in stone. It will be anyway since no matter what you agree there will be a fallback you go to if you can't agree.

 

[Blackdanger***]

You have a good mindset going into this but just make sure when it gets hard you keep positive. She is a women and will try to bring you down and use threats to get you to do what she wants. My sons mom was cool at first but as time went on and I started making more money she became a total lunatic. You just need to keep the communication with her open and calm. When you want to put your fist through her face for being a ****, just remember a drywall patch is much easier to fix.

i'm a really calm person most of the time. It takes a whole lot of shit to get me to lose control of my temper. I've dated the girl i'm talking about for a little bit short of a year and god knows she tested my temper continually. My calm actually made her rage alot of the time.

So i'm not really worried about my own behaviour. I will never enter or open the threats and revenge game. But if she does, i will secretly build up a failsafe.

 

[Byron Pechorin]

Sounds like the kid is going to have a bad time.

 

[Blackdanger***]

TS, I hope you're paying attention!

I honestly believe your best course of action is to try to get along with he old lady and raise the kids together for a while. Like I said, she's being affected by hormones, and they can affect women immensely. You have to take her sour moments with a huge grain of salt. If you guys raise the baby together for a half of a year, and you still aren't feeling the relationship, then bounce.

This gives you time to see what kind of mother she is, to shed yourself in a positive light, and work in your favor of a civil divorce. It's doesn't hurt to go through he parenting process with a partner either. Baby years are the hard years IMO. Do either of you have children now?

I'm 28 and she's 27. It would be my first.