Social Question about dating in America

[NoSmilez]

yea I have been married for years and glad about that
if we ever get in a big fight I imagine having to start again and get on the apps and all that bs and I am glad I don't have to deal with that

Shanghai marriage market

 

[Spounman]

One thing I've been hearing a lot from youtube these days is that young people are not dating and getting laid in the US. The main narrative I hear is that women complain that men aren't approaching them anymore and men are afraid to approach women due to a mix of being sissy soyboys and scared of being labeled a creep.

Is this true or just a made up narrative?

I haven't been to the US in years and I haven't approached a women in years either so I am very out of the loop.

Sounds about right. I always used the Wayne Gretzky approach..........you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. You have to put in a little bit of work, not much at all. My first serious relationship, in college. It was a class full of dudes and like 3 girls. One of them was very hot. A month or so into the semester we had a group project and I saw her go ask the teacher if he knew anyone that needed a partner because she didn't have one. So as soon as class paused for our 10 min break I went up to her in the hallway and asked if she wanted to partner up. Then at our first study meet up we realized we were both commuting from the same area 45 min away so we started commuting together. The rest was history

 

[TheNinja]

I think it's a combination of tihngs

1. Younger men don't know how to approach women in real life. They are used to apps and txt'ing and all that crap. They are also a bit brainwashed into thinking every woman needs to be drop dead gorgeous....though of course, most men will bang a 4 if given the chance.

2. Women have been brainwashed into think they "deserve" a guy who is a 9 or 10, makes $200k a year, travels the world, works 20 hours a week, and will treat them like a princess. Even the women who are 5s or below think they can land a 9 or a 10.

I was talking quite a bit with a 40 year man who is in the dating scene and he says on a ton of his dates all the women want a fancy dinner and have like a checklist of questions they go through on the first date about travel, job, money, cars, etc.

My gut feeling though, is that if you can be charming in real life and sort of break the norm of app dating you can probably crush it out there. Be different and be yourself and you'll be just fine assuming you don't look like a troll.

 

[TheNinja]

Sounds about right. I always used the Wayne Gretzky approach..........you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. You have to put in a little bit of work, not much at all. My first serious relationship, in college. It was a class full of dudes and like 3 girls. One of them was very hot. A month or so into the semester we had a group project and I saw her go ask the teacher if he knew anyone that needed a partner because she didn't have one. So as soon as class paused for our 10 min break I went up to her in the hallway and asked if she wanted to partner up. Then at our first study meet up we realized we were both commuting from the same area 45 min away so we started commuting together. The rest was history

Unfortunately too many people now take the Ben Simmons approach of "You can't miss a shot if you don't take it"

 

[jeff7b9]

Young people are all sorts of confused and it is by design.

They are more concerned with followers than friends.

They think you need to use an app for everything.

____________

I never needed any apps or likes.

"Hey I'm Jeff. What's up?"

That's it.

I don't get how that would ever not work just fine. People are hypnotized, they just need to snap out of it.

 

[The Hash Slinging Slasher]

I work with a few young guys. 2 of the 3 I’m around are terrified of women.

 

[Aegon Spengler]

Women complained when men approached them and they complain when men don’t approach them.

So

The issue of course is men

 

[KBE6EKCTAH_CCP]

I couldn't deal with that vocal fry either on both sides.

 

[chardog]

it's a fact

America is in a 'sex drought' and here's why it matters

We don't have to have sex to be happy, but sexual intimacy is associated with healthy relationships and overall wellbeing.

www.today.com

obesity, smart phones, anti social, fear

it turns out with less person to person interaction, you're not going to get laid as much as previous generations.....

 

[pugilistico]

They seem dumber and more materialistic than average of the worlds woman, with the small sample size I have been in contact with. Also their accent is usually horrendous.

Its probably a reflection of the culture war thing that has been pushed a great deal in the US.

This is general for the american tourists I have met recently though. "Tramp said this, Biden said that" type stuff, with zero ability to reason or reflect.

Obviously these people arent in the sample size of the Dawg though.

I don't know about dumber (but likely that too), but many American women seem more materialistic than their European counter parts. Americans seem way too political and care way too much about the culture war and the divide between the left and right. Everything is through their American perspective of race or gender. Also Americans in general seem much more loud and confident about their abilities without anything to back it up, which is off putting, especially in a woman.

I think they do these online polls where they're asking a bunch of dorky kids who don't go outside about their sex lives.

If you would go and do a realistic poll at like a local college bar or even a big city park I think plenty of people are bangin like they always have

Some of these videos are from dating content channels and it seems there's quite a few women, including attractive ones, who complain men don't approach them anymore.

I suspect it could be true, men are approaching but not the ones these find attractive enough to "count" as a man approaching them, or there's a narrative being pushed to encourage a divide between the sexes for some reason.

One of the reasons I'm asking this is that I personally observed things to be as normal as they used to be when I was younger. If I go out, I see guys hitting on women, people hooking up, dating, etc. But I'm not in America and the demographic is quite varied.

 

[method115]

It's a BS narrative. Every time I go to the bar I still see the same shit going on I did 20 years ago.

 

[pugilistico]

I work with a few young guys. 2 of the 3 I’m around are terrified of women.

To be fair, there were always guys terrified of women in previous generations. In some more "traditional" cultures that currently exist as well. I see a lot of older dudes with absolutely no game.

 

[HARRISON_3]

Lol @ dating in America in 2024

 

[supermurph]

I think younger people are still hooking up and banging plenty. I think stable relationships are in short supply though. My sources are the people I work with when they tell me about girls they met. But yeah, most of them begin with how they met a girl from a dating app or messaged them on social media. Rarely it's a random meeting in public. Then things fall apart in a month or so.

I think things are messed up because people see it as what does this person have to offer me, and it's not if they genuinely like the person or not. Some women are happy to classify themselves as escorts now. And men and women think everyone needs to think exactly as they do about everything, or they don't even want to have a conversation. It's hard to reach a middle ground with the constant push of extremist attitudes about everything.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

To the women complaining that men don't approach them: what's stopping you from approaching men? I thought we were all equal and shit these days.

 

[Don Quixote]

It probably depends on what someone’s intentions are with dating. Casual dating is not that hard for half of people in the market. Dating with the intention of finding a suitable partner is more complex; both men in women in these situations want completely different things, and for two people to make a relationship happen they have to hit all the right notes.

 

[DoctorTaco]

One thing I've been hearing a lot from youtube

This is your problem.

 

[Batjester]

Chloroform, a van and low standards.

You don't mess with the classics.

 

[SKYNET]

lol nice, wow what's your secret?

refer to yourself in third person

 

[Ogata]

One thing I've been hearing a lot from youtube these days is that young people are not dating and getting laid in the US. The main narrative I hear is that women complain that men aren't approaching them anymore and men are afraid to approach women due to a mix of being sissy soyboys and scared of being labeled a creep.

Is this true or just a made up narrative?

I haven't been to the US in years and I haven't approached a women in years either so I am very out of the loop.

I had to delete my post because I actually needed to ask, when women complain about not being approached, what age range are these women at?