Pros and Cons of getting sober

CrimsonFan

CrimsonFan

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So as alot of you guys know, I was really bad off on drugs and alcohol for a long time. Now that i've managed to get the most sober time of my entire life under my belt (62 days). Shits weird.

I'm sitting here trying to figure out what the fuck to do with myself like normal. Feel like ranting

Obviously I was ready to make a serious change in my life, with two medical detox's this year, one 30 stay stay and rehab, a really bad relapse, and just a rollercoaster ride of trying to change my life for the better.

A little over two months ago I said fuck it, and with $4000 to my name, I spent $3200 to go detox myself from alcohol for one week. I was living in basically a trap house with cocaine dealers, i told them i'm gonna go.. found a place, called my mom to come pick me up.. and said my goodbyes to my friends and that lifestyle.

Detoxing wasen't hard. The place I found this time around put me on a pretty good dose of valium and I just chain smoked cigarettes the entire time going to these little group meetings frequently throughout the day. Had pretty bad shakes and insomnia but that went away after about a week.

This time I didn't go right back to my old ways like I did earlier this year.. I moved into a sober living house with other sober people, used the last bit of my money to rent a room and quickly found a job.

Turns out when im not wasted all the time, good things happen. I instantly got promoted and was self sufficient within weeks. Now i've got about 2 grand to my name even after paying rent and i'm already looking to move on my own again. i thought I lost my girlfriend, but she has stuck with me through all this which is pretty much crazy considering the shitty things ive done and said to her.. and put her through. I guess I got a good one.

So now i'm sober for over two months, im doing really well at work.. I dont wanna kill myself anymore. And I sleep like a baby again

But life is fucking dull. Movies suck, the internet sucks, sex even is hard to get into. Every time I try to play music every note feels flat, I don't know what in the hell to do with myself when i'm not working. I'm eating out of boredom. I chain smoke to a fault. I don't really enjoy much of anything yet.. I cut ties with pretty much all of my friends because we basically just drank together. I go to AA meetings out of boredom.. I actually prefer doing that over just sitting around watching TV or something. Shits kind of difficult to be honest

Basically, getting sober is fucking weird.
 
Was going to say some dumbass shit to be funny but at that point you just gotta stick with it bro. You didn’t become a drunk a week or two and you won’t stop being one in a week or two. Takes awhile amigo. Just stay productive.
 
You're going to want to find something that exerts an intensity. Maybe that's in the discipline of restraint or its opposite: achievement. The act of obtaining goals. Or the passion of grinding it out. Something that perhaps exhilarates, but this tends to get dangerous and/or passive. The more active your participation, the more control you maintain over your outcomes.

So look for something that gets your motor going, and do it. It desn't always have to be joyous, in fact it's probably easier to burn with a seething hatred while you act out whatever you need to stave off the boredom and sameness of living. Don't ask me specifically what, because this depends on what's available to you and what you're naturally attenuated for. Nobody can assign your passions to you.
 
A.A. Riggs said:
You're going to want to find something that exerts an intensity. Maybe that's in the discipline of restraint or its opposite: achievement. The act of obtaining goals. Or the passion of grinding it out. Something that perhaps exhilarates, but this tends to get dangerous and/or passive. The more active your participation, the more control you maintain over your outcomes.



So look for something that gets your motor going, and do it. Don't ask me specifically what, because this depends on what's available to you and what you're naturally attenuated for. Nobody can assign your passions to you.
Click to expand...

Despite your looks you’re one of the smartest guys here. Fuck me.
 
These are interesting times for you. Your brain is in the process of re-wiring itself to make all those activities more exciting. Everything is dulled to your senses until you can begin to produce dopamine naturally again. Like another poster said, it’s a process. Stay in your routine and give it time; you’re definitely past the worst part but you’re still a ways from the best part.
 
Pros: easy to bone emotional chicks in recovery. Sure some of them shared needles with people but we can look past that.

AA meetings allow you to become a new you go in their embellish stories and make up a new name. Become the you you’ve always wanted to be.

Cons: you might end up in one of those recovery cults.

provably gain some weight. I ended up eating way more then before I got sober. It became a coping mechanism, I would “treat myself” with half a damn cheese cake every night.
 
Find “cool” AA meetings in the Bay Area theirs meetings for everybody. The Gilman a famous punk rock night club here would have meetings. Theirs meetings for Sikhs, Muslims, en español, and everything in between.
 
CrimsonFan said:
So as alot of you guys know, I was really bad off on drugs and alcohol for a long time. Now that i've managed to get the most sober time of my entire life under my belt (62 days). Shits weird.

I'm sitting here trying to figure out what the fuck to do with myself like normal. Feel like ranting

Obviously I was ready to make a serious change in my life, with two medical detox's this year, one 30 stay stay and rehab, a really bad relapse, and just a rollercoaster ride of trying to change my life for the better.

A little over two months ago I said fuck it, and with $4000 to my name, I spent $3200 to go detox myself from alcohol for one week. I was living in basically a trap house with cocaine dealers, i told them i'm gonna go.. found a place, called my mom to come pick me up.. and said my goodbyes to my friends and that lifestyle.

Detoxing wasen't hard. The place I found this time around put me on a pretty good dose of valium and I just chain smoked cigarettes the entire time going to these little group meetings frequently throughout the day. Had pretty bad shakes and insomnia but that went away after about a week.

This time I didn't go right back to my old ways like I did earlier this year.. I moved into a sober living house with other sober people, used the last bit of my money to rent a room and quickly found a job.

Turns out when im not wasted all the time, good things happen. I instantly got promoted and was self sufficient within weeks. Now i've got about 2 grand to my name even after paying rent and i'm already looking to move on my own again. i thought I lost my girlfriend, but she has stuck with me through all this which is pretty much crazy considering the shitty things ive done and said to her.. and put her through. I guess I got a good one.

So now i'm sober for over two months, im doing really well at work.. I dont wanna kill myself anymore. And I sleep like a baby again

But life is fucking dull. Movies suck, the internet sucks, sex even is hard to get into. Every time I try to play music every note feels flat, I don't know what in the hell to do with myself when i'm not working. I'm eating out of boredom. I chain smoke to a fault. I don't really enjoy much of anything yet.. I cut ties with pretty much all of my friends because we basically just drank together. I go to AA meetings out of boredom.. I actually prefer doing that over just sitting around watching TV or something. Shits kind of difficult to be honest

Basically, getting sober is fucking weird.
Click to expand...
Love you sherbro, you've still got my birthday wish for your well being next march.

What instrument(s)/style(s) do you play?
 
Been there before and sometimes I hit it too hard on the weekend and it turns into a few day binge. 2 things that help(ed) me. 1) Gym. Even better if you can join some kind of class. 2) Walking/running at night. It’s really peaceful since nobody is out really. I find solace in it and It keeps my mind away from the bad shit that I would normally be doing instead during that time.
 
nicapica said:
Find “cool” AA meetings in the Bay Area theirs meetings for everybody. The Gilman a famous punk rock night club here would have meetings. Theirs meetings for Sikhs, Muslims, en español, and everything in between.
Click to expand...
I did not know that, sounds awesome.

Do they still have that damn basketball hoop in there?
 
Support you bro but always have a hard time arguing the Cole Train take.
 
What some people would call a struggle with alcohol I called twelve years of fun at everyone else’s expense.

Quit that shit. Feel better. Never find myself in the company of total shit bags anymore. Haven’t punched someone or been punched since. Haven’t hopped in my car the next morning second guessing myself as to whether or not I could pass a breathalyzer test.

On the flip side I don’t like hanging out with crazy fucked up women anymore. Which used to be one of the highlights of life!
 
Keep fighting the good fight. Volunteering and mentoring the youth will do you good . It will also help you fill that void. Its time..
 
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