Pliny Pete's Tales From The Ghetto : Final 2023 Edition : Update : The Story Gets Worse!

[kahiljabroni]

Suburb crew checking in.

It's fucking awesome. No theft, quiet, reasonable neighbours who all just want to be left alone.

I can't walk back from a night out anymore but fuck it, I'm too old for that shit anyway.

Absolutely. I'll add not all burbs are created equal. Some are within a close enough drive to shit areas that the scum make the drive to the burbs to do crime.

Then some burbs get old and run down. But if you get some real prime time burbs...ya can't beat it. I've never had a single issue with a single neighbor.

 

[Phlog]

Absolutely. I'll add not all burbs are created equal. Some are within a close enough drive to shit areas that the scum make the drive to the burbs to do crime.

Then some burbs get old and run down. But if you get some real prime time burbs...ya can't beat it. I've never had a single issue with a single neighbor.

Yup, I'm in a village the other side of a motorway from the town so the Poor's have to take a bus or ride a bike to us and there's easier pickings. I can leave my house unlocked and my garage door open all day no issues. Worth the price!

 

[POWER SLAP WORLD CHAMPION]

 

[kahiljabroni]

Yup, I'm in a village the other side of a motorway from the town so the Poor's have to take a bus or ride a bike to us and there's easier pickings. I can leave my house unlocked and my garage door open all day no issues. Worth the price!

Same....people leave their garages open regularly..I don't even see a poor for miles. Occasionally at the shopping centers, which are about 5 miles from my neighborhood you'll see a poor.

I've lived in pretty shitty areas and have no desire to ever go back

 

[jeff7b9]

I definitely don't miss living in ghetto neighborhoods, but they certainly provided stories lol.

Happy New Year Pete.

Living in the ghetto stories...

Please share some Lemur.

I'll start:


- I heard, then saw, a dude get chased down the street then beat up in my yard. There was about 4-5 dudes beating on him and they wound up on the other side of my roommates sliding glass door.

We discussed saving the poor asshole, but the way them fellas was beating on him, it felt like odds were he deserved it.

Westbury NY

_______

- Drive by shooting. 14 bullet holes.
Next door neighbor house.
I had just moved in with my band
that was the first weekend, we had a 1 year lease.

Found out quickly that was a trap house / drug house. Cars would roll up, dude would get in, drive around block, get out and go back inside.

Huntington Station LI, NY

random detail: that house came with free cable. Someone had cracked it before we moved in. Plugged in TV and ALL the channels worked, we never paid any cable bill.

Guitarist fell in love with a coke addicted stripper, so i moved to LA.
______

- read in newspaper that gang initiations were occurring in my neighborhood. Public advised to not walk outside alone as the gang initiation was to jump random people and beat the shit out of them and rob them.

Roommates truck got broken into.

I moved out after one month to live on a couch in frathouse garage.

Had a surprisingly great sex life throughout this whole time even though I was really borderline homeless.

Hempstead LI, NY
____________

 

[FyrFytr998]

Suburb crew checking in.

It's fucking awesome. No theft, quiet, reasonable neighbours who all just want to be left alone.

I can't walk back from a night out anymore but fuck it, I'm too old for that shit anyway.

Facts. Living in an area where you are statistically safer does wonders for the nerves.

When I lived in the city, my last apartment happened to be in the worst part of it. I lived across the way from the most dangerous high school. I was also directly across the street from City Mental Health Services.

I almost had to merc some nut that tried to carjack who was to be my future mother in law. One evening my wife whom I was dating came across a double homicide that the cops just arrived to investigate. I can’t even count the number of stolen cars dumped on my street by the high schoolers. Gang fights and the fact my yard was an escape route when running from the cops. And my basement was broken into a couple times. They never came into the house, because we kept a bunch of Pits.

And forget trying to visit my grandmother who never left the housing project. Would have been good had I been born with the olive skin and brown eyes my brother and sister got from my Puerto Rican dad, but no, I got my mom’s blue eyes and white ass Irish skin, lol.

 

[StonedLemur]

Living in the ghetto stories...

Please share some Lemur.

I'll start:


- I heard, then saw, a dude get chased down the street then beat up in my yard. There was about 4-5 dudes beating on him and they wound up on the other side of my roommates sliding glass door.

We discussed saving the poor asshole, but the way them fellas was beating on him, it felt like odds were he deserved it.

Westbury NY

_______

- Drive by shooting. 14 bullet holes.
Next door neighbor house.
I had just moved in with my band
that was the first weekend, we had a 1 year lease.

Found out quickly that was a trap house / drug house. Cars would roll up, dude would get in, drive around block, get out and go back inside.

Huntington Station LI, NY

random detail: that house came with free cable. Someone had cracked it before we moved in. Plugged in TV and ALL the channels worked, we never paid any cable bill.

Guitarist fell in love with a coke addicted stripper, so i moved to LA.
______

- read in newspaper that gang initiations were occurring in my neighborhood. Public advised to not walk outside alone as the gang initiation was to jump random people and beat the shit out of them and rob them.

Roommates truck got broken into.

I moved out after one month to live on a couch in frathouse garage.

Had a surprisingly great sex life throughout this whole time even though I was really borderline homeless.

Hempstead LI, NY
____________

When I got knee surgery I was rehabbing it at my brothers house.
I got a call from my next door neighbor telling me my upstairs neighbor kicked in my door and robbed my house.

This was because I was dating her daughter who was 27, and I was 29.
I ended up getting all my shit back, and then they paid me $2k for not pressing charges...which I would never do lol.



I used live near a bar when I was a kid, and the guy that owned it owed some guy a lot of cash, and one day that guy stuck a pipe bomb in the owners wife's car in broad daylight.
Fuckin explosion peeled the entire roof back.

That shit was fucked up, people were hit with the glass the car was on fire.
The owner sold the bar like a month later.

 

[Joshuaace]

In my teens, an older friend of mine inherited a little money while in his early 20's and bought a house in the ghetto. I was hanging out on the front porch one night underage drinking and doing bongs by myself. While illegal at the time, it was tame for the territory. Anyway, I'm getting a buzz on and I just feel like stuff is moving around me. I see one of the addicts helping his nag walking off the heroine nods, but that's about it. But I felt something.

Screeeeeech! 2 Swat tactical vehicles pull up to join the Cops that were already on the ground. I had no clue, but there were multiple Cops already in the bushes that bordered the porch I was sitting on. They served a no knock warrant next door, swift and hard lmao. For a fleeting moment I genuinely thought they were there over a case of beer and a quarter ounce of pot that we had.

 

[HARRISON_3]

ngl I would finish that whole thing
some tapatio and ranch for dipping

that mothewould bout of here

Exactly right.

Though I’d probably go Valentina, but I often go back and forth between the two.

A little pool of ranch on one side, Valentina (or Tapatio) on the other, slice in the middle.

 

[boingyman]

Should have given her the Stockton slap

 

[boingyman]

If it makes you feel any better I was mowing my lawn one day and almost stepped on a giant pile of fresh shit on my front lawn. I got so annoyed I stopped what I was doing and went through my Ring camera history for like 30 minutes trying to find the perpetrator, but couldn't find shit. Fuck!

 

[666]

I will share a story from where I live. I wouldn't call it a ghetto but the homeless/drug situation is bad and they congregate at a local convenience store and liquor stor that are side by side.

Usually I just walk by them and they don't mess with me but a couple weeks ago I turn the corner and there's this woman 5 feet from me spitting, tearing at her clothes, yelling gibberish. She had sores all over her body and a fucked up face, swollen eyes, herpes you name it.

So when I turned the corner there's not many people I wouldn't just walk by but about 3 feet from her I just said 'holy shit'. Then she started yelling 'I'll kill you! Did you punch my face! Ahhh.

Then she charged at me with something in her hand. The flight response took over. I didn't even want to touch her let alone look at her.

So I need my booze and circle back and dip into the liquor store and on my way in this Zombie charges at me again. Luckily she didn't come in after me or I might've had to pay for the bottles of booze I broke across her head.

It was a pretty terrifying experience. It wasn't a small woman either probably 6' and 180 pounds of disease coming at me with something in her hand.

After I went into the store I told the guy lock the door bro there's a crazy person outside. Then watching out the window she was chasing after everyone on the street. I don't feel like a botch for running away because she literally looked like a Zombie.

 

[davidlemonparty]

I will share a story from where I live. I wouldn't call it a ghetto but the homeless/drug situation is bad and they congregate at a local convenience store and liquor stor that are side by side.

Usually I just walk by them and they don't mess with me but a couple weeks ago I turn the corner and there's this woman 5 feet from me spitting, tearing at her clothes, yelling gibberish. She had sores all over her body and a fucked up face, swollen eyes, herpes you name it.

So when I turned the corner there's not many people I wouldn't just walk by but about 3 feet from her I just said 'holy shit'. Then she started yelling 'I'll kill you! Did you punch my face! Ahhh.

Then she charged at me with something in her hand. The flight response took over. I didn't even want to touch her let alone look at her.

So I need my booze and circle back and dip into the liquor store and on my way in this Zombie charges at me again. Luckily she didn't come in after me or I might've had to pay for the bottles of booze I broke across her head.

It was a pretty terrifying experience. It wasn't a small woman either probably 6' and 180 pounds of disease coming at me with something in her hand.

After I went into the store I told the guy lock the door bro there's a crazy person outside. Then watching out the window she was chasing after everyone on the street. I don't feel like a botch for running away because she literally looked like a Zombie.

gross, imagine if she had a syringe or something. nothing is worth that. only a total dipshit would stand their ground against a mad diseased bitch unless you have something right there you need to protect (friend, family, etc)

I think the waiting time to see if you get HIV or some other nasty shit is like 2-3 months as well

 

[666]

gross, imagine if she had a syringe or something. nothing is worth that. only a total dipshit would stand their ground against a mad diseased bitch unless you have something right there you need to protect (friend, family, etc)

I think the waiting time to see if you get HIV or some other nasty shit is like 2-3 months as well

I'm trying to think more positive this year through. I'm thinking if she did get to touch me I might've got a contact high and my supercells would fight off all disease.

I jest but here in Canaduh they actually recently passed a bill where homeless people or addicts can get euthanized. I'm not for it but maybe she needs it

 

[JudoThrowFiasco]

Poor people lives are funny. Glad we keep them around for our amusement

 

[Snubnoze707]

So in my shaken and disturved state I forgot to tell them I didnt want this nasty ass crispy cup pepperoni on my pizza, I wanted the regular stuff!
This is a disaster
Thanks a lot 2023

Wait, now hold up. I've never had Pizza Guys, and it looks like some chain level quality, but then again bad pizza is still good pizza, but cupped and crisp pepperoni is fucking tremendous and I'll take it over the flat and boring peps any day.

 

[PG29 red0 Jr]

In my teens, an older friend of mine inherited a little money while in his early 20's and bought a house in the ghetto. I was hanging out on the front porch one night underage drinking and doing bongs by myself. While illegal at the time, it was tame for the territory. Anyway, I'm getting a buzz on and I just feel like stuff is moving around me. I see one of the addicts helping his nag walking off the heroine nods, but that's about it. But I felt something.

Screeeeeech! 2 Swat tactical vehicles pull up to join the Cops that were already on the ground. I had no clue, but there were multiple Cops already in the bushes that bordered the porch I was sitting on. They served a no knock warrant next door, swift and hard lmao. For a fleeting moment I genuinely thought they were there over a case of beer and a quarter ounce of pot that we had.

I traded a set of Aluminum wheels for a 1988 Acura Integra that my buddy had at his auto shop which was in the hood. The car would idle, but stumble and barely move and had a failing CV axle. I figure out the issue was a clogged fuel filter, and changed that out and put a new axle in the car. It felt good in the parking lot, but I wanted to take it around the block and make sure it was all good.

I get a block away from the shop, and there is like (2) SWAT vehicles, and half a dozen cops behind me.

They were on their way to a no-knock warrant, and I watched them smash in the front door of a house and raid it.

For a hot minute my 16 year old self thought they were coming for me for not having plates on the car!

 

[Joshuaace]

I traded a set of Aluminum wheels for a 1988 Acura Integra that my buddy had at his auto shop which was in the hood. The car would idle, but stumble and barely move and had a failing CV axle. I figure out the issue was a clogged fuel filter, and changed that out and put a new axle in the car. It felt good in the parking lot, but I wanted to take it around the block and make sure it was all good.

I get a block away from the shop, and there is like (2) SWAT vehicles, and half a dozen cops behind me.

They were on their way to a no-knock warrant, and I watched them smash in the front door of a house and raid it.

For a hot minute my 16 year old self thought they were coming for me for not having plates on the car!

Hey Darren, long time no see.

Edit* Crazy, My friend worked as a mechanic/tow truck driver for a business that was in the hood.

 

[MicroBrew]

So I'm sitting here in my fancy pants comfy comfy Lazy Boy right now trying to decide on my toppings from the Pizza Guys website when I got quite a nasty surprise
I hear something outside so I look out the window from my relaxed seated position and some spagoodled looking tweaker bitch was standing in front of my house at the edge of the driveway yelling hello over and over again
I was just sitting here watching her through the window and this foul ass bitch dropped her drawers and squirted out her nasty toxic piss all over my sidewalk!
Hella cars just passing by watching her
I got worried she was about to do a #2
Then she just strutted off like a boss with her full white shiny ass exposed, not worried about a thing
That's life in the ghetto

She shouldn't have done that, that was the wrong thing to do.

 

[Stargazer Rex]

So in my shaken and disturved state I forgot to tell them I didnt want this nasty ass crispy cup pepperoni on my pizza, I wanted the regular stuff!
This is a disaster
Thanks a lot 2023

I truly wish I never saw this. Rumor and innuendo the crispy cup pepperoni is really just expired regular pepperoni.

Big Pepperoni trying to screw the little guy yet again!