Pasta is hands down my favorite food. As such, I learned how to make it and have been cooking it for the past 15+ years. Nothing infuriates me more than going to a restaurant, ordering a $25+ plate of pasta, and then knowing in one bite that I can make much, much better for much, much less. I rarely order it any more for this very reason.
Real pasta with tomato/pomodoro sauce is easy as fuck and involves four or five simple ingredients: pasta, garlic, tomatoes, extra-virgin olive oil, and maybe basil. You prefer a slightly more complex marinara? Cool. Add some anchovies, parsley, white wine, and maybe some chili flakes and capers. Also easy as fuck. Let me break it down for you, my ninjas.
Tomatoes
Use only canned whole San Marzano or ripe plum tomatoes that are in season. Not Wholesome Choice Organic Bullshit Tomatoes w/ Italian Spices or January's half-ripe cardboard bullshit tomatoes from Senor Pepe's Meximart.
Garlic
This should be amazingly simple, but it's incredible how often I see people screw this up. If the garlic is old or has green shoots in it, don't use it. People also overcook the shit out of garlic. What happens when a piece of meat turns overly dark when you're cooking it? It turns bitter and you don't want to eat it. Same with garlic. When preparing it, smash a few bulbs, remove the skins, cut off the stems, sprinkle some kosher salt on top with a dash of oil, then finely mince. The salt will act as an abrasive and help break it down. Drag your blade over it a few times at a 10-15% angle, and repeat until you've got nearly a puree.
Extra-Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO)
"OMG, EVOO is totes expensive!" Get the fuck out of my kitchen. Extra-virgin olive oil is (usually) the first press, has a much better (fruity, grassy, etc.) flavor depending on the country and/or region, and also has a higher smoking point, which means less chance of making your sauce taste like a burned pile of shit.
Basil
Half the basil I see at the grocery store these days looks like nonna wiped her ass with it. Bruised, wilted, etc. Grow your own or make sure the stuff you buy at the market is pristine, but if it's an inferior product, you're going to have an inferior result. Add basil at the end of the cooking process, otherwise the fresh herbaceous quality will be lost and it will muddy the brightness of the tomatoes. There's a lot of argument between torn and chopped basil, without a lot of scientific evidence I've found to support either conclusively. I prefer torn because there tends to be less bruising during the chiffonade (slicing thin ribbons), even with a very sharp knife.
Pasta
Don't bother making pasta for this application. Sure, the homemade stuff is great for pillowy ravioli, toothsome tortellini, and fluffy gnocchi, but if we're talking spaghetti, bucatini, or linguine in red sauce, it's truly unnecessary. Many of the best restaurants in the world use the dry stuff.
Pasta w/ Tomato Sauce Recipe
Finally, JESUS.
Ingredients
1) Grab a few good tomatoes. If you're using canned whole San Marzano tomatoes, skip to step 2. I prefer this method, but tomatoes aren't always in season. We're creating what's called a concasse, which is a French technique for an Italian dish that basically means "crushed." Prepare an ice bath with plenty of ice and water and get a large pot of water boiling. Cut an "X" in the bottom of each tomato and remove the cores. Drop them in the boiling water for 20-45 seconds, or until they start to visibly wrinkle and peel. Remove them, preferably with a spider (mesh skimmer), and place them in the water bath until cool. This is called blanching. Peel the tomatoes, slice them in half, remove the seeds with your fingers (not all are necessary), and medium dice.
2) In a blender, pulse the canned whole San Marzano tomatoes a few times. You still want a bit of chunk.
3) Create a near-puree of garlic using the technique indicated under the "garlic" header.
4) Over medium-high heat in a wide sautee pan, heat a couple of healthy glugs of EVOO.
5) Add garlic to the pan with oil and a pinch of kosher salt, and stir 30-45 seconds. If the garlic gets dark at all (past golden), restart. The heat was too high.
6) Add your tomatoes and a healthy pinch of salt. Stir occasionally and never allow the heat to bring the mixture to more than a simmer. Very lightly simmer for no more than 40 minutes, less with canned tomatoes. With fresh tomatoes, you want the flesh of the tomatoes to have broken down and formed a thick, mostly smooth, unfiorm consistency. We will thin it a bit at the end.
7) A few minutes before your sauce is finished, cook your pasta in plenty of very salty, boiling water. You want a roiling boil and a good small handful of kosher salt. Stir occasionally so the starch can bounce around and the pasta doesn't stick together. Cook for one minute less than the required cooking time, which should be on the "too al dente" side of al dente.
8) Check your sauce for seasoning (kosher salt), add as necessary (vegetables usually need a healthy dose, and not all tomato batches are the same), and tear basil into it. If you're adding Parmesan cheese, remember that it will add a fair amount of saltiness to your dish.
9) Strain pasta, but not all the way. You want about scant 1/4 cup of that starchy water in your sauce to help the sauce adhere to the pasta. Pour your pasta and that bit of a water into the sauce. (If you're worried about pouring in too much water, simply reserve the water at the end in a container and add with the completely drained pasta.) Continue cooking the sauce over medium-high heat, and drag the pasta through to coat for about a minute.
10) This is where, if desired, you add your Parmesan cheese, which will also help bring the sauce together. Don't even think about shaking it out of a green bottle. Use that real shit and drop panties. I personally add a fuck ton, with a couple of glugs of EVOO and fresh-cracked black pepper.
11) Plating tip: Grag a pair of grill tongs (the kind with the scalloped edges), insert into pasta, and rotate 45 degrees. Release gently on your plate/bowl and it will create a neat swirl. Garnish a tiny drizzle of EVOO, a light blanket of Parmesan, and a floret or a few ribbons of basil.
Sorry if I just got you laid.
My knowledge of pasta isn't limited to this particular dish. I have created pretty much everything. If you've got any questions, ask away.
Real pasta with tomato/pomodoro sauce is easy as fuck and involves four or five simple ingredients: pasta, garlic, tomatoes, extra-virgin olive oil, and maybe basil. You prefer a slightly more complex marinara? Cool. Add some anchovies, parsley, white wine, and maybe some chili flakes and capers. Also easy as fuck. Let me break it down for you, my ninjas.
Tomatoes
Use only canned whole San Marzano or ripe plum tomatoes that are in season. Not Wholesome Choice Organic Bullshit Tomatoes w/ Italian Spices or January's half-ripe cardboard bullshit tomatoes from Senor Pepe's Meximart.
Garlic
This should be amazingly simple, but it's incredible how often I see people screw this up. If the garlic is old or has green shoots in it, don't use it. People also overcook the shit out of garlic. What happens when a piece of meat turns overly dark when you're cooking it? It turns bitter and you don't want to eat it. Same with garlic. When preparing it, smash a few bulbs, remove the skins, cut off the stems, sprinkle some kosher salt on top with a dash of oil, then finely mince. The salt will act as an abrasive and help break it down. Drag your blade over it a few times at a 10-15% angle, and repeat until you've got nearly a puree.
Extra-Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO)
"OMG, EVOO is totes expensive!" Get the fuck out of my kitchen. Extra-virgin olive oil is (usually) the first press, has a much better (fruity, grassy, etc.) flavor depending on the country and/or region, and also has a higher smoking point, which means less chance of making your sauce taste like a burned pile of shit.
Basil
Half the basil I see at the grocery store these days looks like nonna wiped her ass with it. Bruised, wilted, etc. Grow your own or make sure the stuff you buy at the market is pristine, but if it's an inferior product, you're going to have an inferior result. Add basil at the end of the cooking process, otherwise the fresh herbaceous quality will be lost and it will muddy the brightness of the tomatoes. There's a lot of argument between torn and chopped basil, without a lot of scientific evidence I've found to support either conclusively. I prefer torn because there tends to be less bruising during the chiffonade (slicing thin ribbons), even with a very sharp knife.
Pasta
Don't bother making pasta for this application. Sure, the homemade stuff is great for pillowy ravioli, toothsome tortellini, and fluffy gnocchi, but if we're talking spaghetti, bucatini, or linguine in red sauce, it's truly unnecessary. Many of the best restaurants in the world use the dry stuff.
Pasta w/ Tomato Sauce Recipe
Finally, JESUS.
Ingredients
- 1 package dry spaghetti, bucatini, or linguine (in order of preference)
- 2+ lbs good-quality tomatoes or 1 28 oz. can whole San Marzano tomatoes
- 4-6 cloves garlic, finely minced
- 2+ tablespoons of EVOO
- fresh basil (optional)
- Parmesan cheese (optional)
- kosher salt, to taste
- fresh cracked black pepper, to taste (optional)
1) Grab a few good tomatoes. If you're using canned whole San Marzano tomatoes, skip to step 2. I prefer this method, but tomatoes aren't always in season. We're creating what's called a concasse, which is a French technique for an Italian dish that basically means "crushed." Prepare an ice bath with plenty of ice and water and get a large pot of water boiling. Cut an "X" in the bottom of each tomato and remove the cores. Drop them in the boiling water for 20-45 seconds, or until they start to visibly wrinkle and peel. Remove them, preferably with a spider (mesh skimmer), and place them in the water bath until cool. This is called blanching. Peel the tomatoes, slice them in half, remove the seeds with your fingers (not all are necessary), and medium dice.
2) In a blender, pulse the canned whole San Marzano tomatoes a few times. You still want a bit of chunk.
3) Create a near-puree of garlic using the technique indicated under the "garlic" header.
4) Over medium-high heat in a wide sautee pan, heat a couple of healthy glugs of EVOO.
5) Add garlic to the pan with oil and a pinch of kosher salt, and stir 30-45 seconds. If the garlic gets dark at all (past golden), restart. The heat was too high.
6) Add your tomatoes and a healthy pinch of salt. Stir occasionally and never allow the heat to bring the mixture to more than a simmer. Very lightly simmer for no more than 40 minutes, less with canned tomatoes. With fresh tomatoes, you want the flesh of the tomatoes to have broken down and formed a thick, mostly smooth, unfiorm consistency. We will thin it a bit at the end.
7) A few minutes before your sauce is finished, cook your pasta in plenty of very salty, boiling water. You want a roiling boil and a good small handful of kosher salt. Stir occasionally so the starch can bounce around and the pasta doesn't stick together. Cook for one minute less than the required cooking time, which should be on the "too al dente" side of al dente.
8) Check your sauce for seasoning (kosher salt), add as necessary (vegetables usually need a healthy dose, and not all tomato batches are the same), and tear basil into it. If you're adding Parmesan cheese, remember that it will add a fair amount of saltiness to your dish.
9) Strain pasta, but not all the way. You want about scant 1/4 cup of that starchy water in your sauce to help the sauce adhere to the pasta. Pour your pasta and that bit of a water into the sauce. (If you're worried about pouring in too much water, simply reserve the water at the end in a container and add with the completely drained pasta.) Continue cooking the sauce over medium-high heat, and drag the pasta through to coat for about a minute.
10) This is where, if desired, you add your Parmesan cheese, which will also help bring the sauce together. Don't even think about shaking it out of a green bottle. Use that real shit and drop panties. I personally add a fuck ton, with a couple of glugs of EVOO and fresh-cracked black pepper.
11) Plating tip: Grag a pair of grill tongs (the kind with the scalloped edges), insert into pasta, and rotate 45 degrees. Release gently on your plate/bowl and it will create a neat swirl. Garnish a tiny drizzle of EVOO, a light blanket of Parmesan, and a floret or a few ribbons of basil.
Sorry if I just got you laid.
My knowledge of pasta isn't limited to this particular dish. I have created pretty much everything. If you've got any questions, ask away.
