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Agreed, I think we are talking about the same thing here - i would further add that fighting defensively is likewise one of the letters, complex pre-throw subtleties that you need to understand and control/anticipate before you can reliably attempt a throw of your own.The big blind spot here, to stay with the O Soto Gari example, is assuming to just do the technique and call it a day. I think people confuse grappling with boxing often times, where you fake one punch and do another. Judo is more complex. The first challenge is not throwing your opponent but to establish a grip, and there are many ways to do that and many different ways you can grip for the throw. Same with different Kuzushi options. The mistake you made was substituting such things with direct entries to different throws and then just looking for what your uke is giving you to work with it seems. And that's kinda where we come full circle in the explanation. To stick with your comparison from earlier, it's not the throws which are the equivalent to different individual letters for people learning to read, but it's all the stuff happening way before the throw that are the individual letters which can be combined or exchanged into different sequences to create something coherent.
I think there is this widespread mindset among beginners that only a clean throw is an indicator of success, when even a good grip of controlling your opponents movement for a short while are very much accomplishments. The same applies to BJJ beginners who wonder why they can't just Armbar their opponent right away.
I guess thays my overall thought here - it was in response mostly to the advice of @TheFakeMacoy for a newbie to focus on attack. While i understand the sentiment, I also feel like if I had asked for help as a frustrated whitebelt and someone told me to have more confidence and attack more, I'd probably just end up more frustrated and more bruised. It's probably because im just a slower learner or less athletic, but it took me a long time to leaen how to throw at all. I won matches via ugly, drawn out dogfight and submission. It wasn't until I had a more intuitive sense of action-response, counters and timing that these throws id spent hundreds of hours drilling FINALLY began to work.
My path therefore sort of went the opposite way, I focused on defense and maintaining control and balance yhe best I could, and trying to drag the fight down to the mat to tire the guy out. Thus was a long time ago, too. I was all about the leg takedowns. I started developing a reliable uriname counter to opponents ipon attempts, and that sort of cracked the window a bit and I realized how important timing/countering is.
