nut shot stories

Fedorgasm

Fedorgasm

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About 6 weeks ago I was tossing a baseball with my son when one of his wild throws hit the ground and took a weird bounce. I didn't adjust fast enough to make the catch and it bounced up and hit me dead center in the right nut.

Now my son has a bad habit of exaggerating even the smallest injury, so I'm constantly telling him to man up, quit whining, take it like a man, etc. So I couldn't very well let him see me collapse to the ground clutching my balls. I'd be setting a bad example.

So I turned my back on him and muttered about a hundred f bombs to myself, while he asks things like, "what are you doing?" And "are you going to throw it?"

So now, 6 weeks later, I still have nut pain. But I'm not going to the doctor. I'm following my typical method of ignoring it till it goes away.

In the meantime, I was hoping my fellow sherdoggers would make me feel better by sharing your own nut shot stories.

So who's taken some good shots to the ol baby batter makers?
 
Nut cancer looms.

Good job you already have a kid.
 
You have had pain in your nuts for six weeks and have decided to do nothing about it. Doesn't sound like a good idea.
 
Fedorgasm said:
About 6 weeks ago I was tossing a baseball with my son when one of his wild throws hit the ground and took a weird bounce. I didn't adjust fast enough to make the catch and it bounced up and hit me dead center in the right nut.

Now my son has a bad habit of exaggerating even the smallest injury, so I'm constantly telling him to man up, quit whining, take it like a man, etc. So I couldn't very well let him see me collapse to the ground clutching my balls. I'd be setting a bad example.

So I turned my back on him and muttered about a hundred f bombs to myself, while he asks things like, "what are you doing?" And "are you going to throw it?"

So now, 6 weeks later, I still have nut pain. But I'm not going to the doctor. I'm following my typical method of ignoring it till it goes away.

In the meantime, I was hoping my fellow sherdoggers would make me feel better by sharing your own nut shot stories.

So who's taken some good shots to the ol baby batter makers?
Click to expand...

Pain 6 weeks later? You should get an ultrasound. Dont worry its not bad. Good chance it will be a cute girl rubbing gel on your balls.
 
I was in the store with some of my buddies and one of them whipped a lime right at my nuts. Dropped me right in front of a bunch of people, they laughed, I cried. I still need to get him back for that. I was on the ground for a couple of minutes, almost puked. Little fucker. Thanks for reminding me, next time I see him I'm gonna act happy to see him and go for a big ass handshake then fucking hoof him in the nuts so bad.
 
Getting hit in the ball(s) is brutal. You get that delay uneasy feeling, then feels like you have a stomachache.
 
I wouldn't mess with nut pain that last that long. You might have testicular torsion, hematoma, etc..

If things gets worse you might even lose the nut and have to have an orchiectomy surgery.

Or, I'm just scaring you with medical jargon
 
so u dont want medical attention & is only asking sherdog to provide nut stories to make u feel better
 
6 weeks is too long man, let a nurse with warm hands have a fiddle make sure you're ok.
 
Went to a club years ago to score some poon and bumped into my buddies girlfriend. She was all over me right off the bat. Walked her on over to the bar to buy a couple drinks and she leans in and proceeds to shove her tongue down my throat. After the brief exchange where I was essentially deepthroating her tongue I take a gander around to see if any familiar faces had eyes on us. Far as I could see nobody was watching. Thinking I could get away with a harmless night of fun with a taken woman my guard goes down and we get to dancing and whatnot. She seemed to enjoy sneaking around and I wasn't the first of my friends to take a shot at her. The night goes on and ends with her sister coming to pick her up(I'd been fooling around with the sister too). As we're waiting for her ride she takes me behind a building and pants get to coming off. The sister calls as she arrives and smirks at us as we stagger from behind the club. I'm offered a ride but decide to walk instead.

Fast forward a week. I'm looking to score some poon so I show up at the same club. This time I get there kind of early and bump into a few friends of mine. We're bullshitting at the end of the bar and in walks my buddies girl from last week. I smile as she approaches anticipating round two. As I ready my arms for what I assumed was going to be a hug her knee meets my genitals with the force of one thousand Thai fighters. Nearly buckled me. She then screams "WHY IS EVERYONE CALLING ME A SLUT?".

After explaining that I didn't say anything about what we did she smiles and carries on like she didn't just attempt to end my life.
 
I was tossing a Frisbee with some friends years ago (ya know, cuz I'm cool). He lobbed it at me almost completely vertically. It was so easy to catch but I missed it anyway because I tried to catch it like a retard and sorta clap my hands together (ya know, cuz I'm smart).

It just barely grazed my dick, and I went DOWN. I still can't believe how bad it was. I'd been hit straight in the sack by flying hockey pucks, and nothing was as bad as this one.
 
My sister has got this 90 lbs dog, and I'm sure she's trained it to intentionally jab me in the nuts whenever I come around.
 
A co-worker was jokingly blocking the door during break like a little B, so I kicked him full power with the flat of my shoe (like a snappy sideways stomp) right on the front of the cargo shorts he was wearing and he went down as I walked by

He literally cried and ran and told the boss, who confronted me an hour later. I denied everything, because I had actually forgotten about it. My brain hadn't logged it as an actual event because it happened automatically- I'd never even made the conscious decision to do it, one of those type a things.

I was still hazy, so I threw a hailmary and told my boss "sorry just a bad habit" and that was enough to buy me enough slack-time to where he diminished interest just enough to stop prosecuting me for it

Gosh dang that co-worker was annoying. It had been going for months with these little annoyances, so I guess I just mini-snapped at what must have been the last straw. Best day of my life
 
Bottom half guard in BJJ vs a judoka, got an underhook and got to to my knees and went for a single, got countered with an uchi mata and back down I went. Mid-air I wrap my legs around his planning to come back up the moment I hit the ground because I still have the underhook. Guys knee lands on my ball, hard. Immediately tapped and I was down. 1 hour later I was still down, hurt like a muthafucker and was swollen, ended up going to the ER. Came blood over the next week, swollen and hurt like a muthaf**ker. 1 1/2 years on still a little bit tender sometimes. I now wear a cup I would recommend every grappler do the same.
 
I have one that also involves baseball. My son was about 13 at the time. He wasn't hitting very well so I took him to the park three or four evenings a week after work and threw balls to him so he could hit. One evening as it was starting to get dark he was getting into a good groove and hitting about every pitch I threw to him so I didn't want to stop right then even though visibility was starting to get a little sketchy for me. He ripped one right into my nuts. Dead center. I collapsed to the dirt and just lay there for quite a while. A guy who was twirling his little kid around on the merry go round came over to ask if I was alright and all I could do was just tell him to let me lie there. After what I think was probably about 10 minutes or maybe more I got up and we picked up our baseballs and went home. I was still hurting for about 3-4 days but eventually got over it. If you are 6 weeks in and still hurting, I'd advise you to go get yourself checked out.

From then on, I always used the L-screen when I pitched to him. Better safe than sorry.
 
Fedorgasm said:
About 6 weeks ago I was tossing a baseball with my son when one of his wild throws hit the ground and took a weird bounce. I didn't adjust fast enough to make the catch and it bounced up and hit me dead center in the right nut.

Now my son has a bad habit of exaggerating even the smallest injury, so I'm constantly telling him to man up, quit whining, take it like a man, etc. So I couldn't very well let him see me collapse to the ground clutching my balls. I'd be setting a bad example.

So I turned my back on him and muttered about a hundred f bombs to myself, while he asks things like, "what are you doing?" And "are you going to throw it?"

So now, 6 weeks later, I still have nut pain. But I'm not going to the doctor. I'm following my typical method of ignoring it till it goes away.

In the meantime, I was hoping my fellow sherdoggers would make me feel better by sharing your own nut shot stories.

So who's taken some good shots to the ol baby batter makers?
Click to expand...

6 weeks? That shit will not get better. Go to the doc.
 
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