My car is full of thousands of spiders

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Brampton_Boy, Sep 23, 2021.

  1. Brampton_Boy Douchey Mc Douche

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    Apparently at some point over the past two weeks, spiders have been breeding in my car (I have a separate daily driver, so I hadn't driven in this car for a while), resulting in thousands of tiny spiders that have infiltrated virtually every square inch of the car - the seats, vents, glove box etc. are full of baby spiders. There are tiny strands of cobwebs everywhere, and I genuinely don't know how to resolve this.

    Driving the car today was like a scene straight out of Arachnophobia (for you youngsters out there, this was a campy 90s horror movie). I notice some spiders on the wheel, and I brush them off. Then I see a bunch of them descending from the visor... at this point, I stop the car and look around, and see that they are everywhere. It was so bad, that I turned the car around and took my "regular car" to work, as there was no way I was going to spend 45 minutes in traffic surrounded by spiders.

    My initial thought is to just seal them in there and hope that the heat eventually bakes them. I could also get a bug bomb, but this is my Camaro, and the idea of spraying poison into the upholstery doesn't sound appealing (particularly since I am planning to sell it soon).

    Any suggestions? What is a natural predator to spiders? I'm thinking of taking a page out of the Simpsons' strategy book:
     
  2. William Huggins Red Belt

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    Do they all have your face like some weird Spider version of the film, "The Fly"?
     
  3. Zinger Potato Belt

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    Sell the car and make the spiders someone else's problem.
     
  4. GSP_37 Titanium Belt

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    Spider-Man's enemies include Lizard, Scorpion, Doc Ock, Rhino. See if you have any of those handy.

    Today I realized I forgot to shut the AC vent last night, so hope no mice got into the car.
     
  5. William Huggins Red Belt

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    Park the car somewhere safe, leave the engine running and the heater and vents on max, then after 30mins open up all the windows and leave the car running with heater and vents still on max.

    You might need to do this for a good couple of hours. The idea is to make them want to leave the car.
     
  6. Simian Raticus Sicker than your average.

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    The only solution is to set it on fire.

    Douse it well so none have the time to flee.
     
  7. mb23100 Steel Belt

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  8. Brampton_Boy Douchey Mc Douche

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    Not that I'm aware of - I don't have the greatest vision though, and they are pretty small.

    With that being said, I haven't been engaging in gene splicing experiments or fucking female spiders, so I don't think these spider babies are mine.
     
  9. William Huggins Red Belt

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    Did you bang any chicks on the back seat without a condom...........
     
  10. dildos Titanium Belt

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    This. But I’d plant a bomb in it and detonate it from a very far distance.
     
    Batjester and mb23100 like this.
  11. Tone C Gold Belt

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    I originally read this as ' My ear is full of thousands of spiders ' which would have been way cooler for us....
     
  12. Osculater Red Belt

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    You can snack on the the spiders while you drive and they are rich in protein
     
  13. William Huggins Red Belt

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    Haven't you seen the film Arachnophobia...........the mum, his FB, mother to the baby spiders will want revenge........
     
  14. Osculater Red Belt

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    Eat them up too for them gainz!
     
    William Huggins likes this.
  15. NewJerseyNick Platinum Werewolf Belt Platinum Member

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    Im in your kitchen making a sandwich.
    Halloween is next month.
    Find a goth chick to sell it to.
     
    BlankaPresident likes this.
  16. RoyalTS Purple Belt

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    Singing birds. 25 should do the job.
     
  17. Red Beard Silver Belt

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    Do you have beaded seat covers or maybe a Black Ice air freshener? Maybe try making your Camaro less sexy and those spiders will stop their orgy. You are just oozing sexual energy with two cars and one being a Camaro. I'm throbbing and I'm only reading it.
     
    cabear, Axefan4life, Robocok and 4 others like this.
  18. Jesus X Jesus X Loved BBW, he died doing what he loved.

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    grossest shit I dealt with was possums in my car spiders sounds worse
     
    -Magua- likes this.
  19. ralphc1 Titanium Belt Platinum Member

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    Brampton_Boy likes this.
  20. cmw43 Bad Boys Club

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    Just vacuum them all up?
     

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