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by John Nolte
https://twitter.com/NolteNC
My first TV cost $400. This was 1982, so in today's money that is $615.
I paid $615 for a 19-inch color TV.
Remember those? They were the size of four dorm microwaves and weighed about 90 pounds.
There was no remote. Just an on/off/volume button and two huge dials that were about the size of those dials you see Bond Villains use to turn up the heat in the plutonium reactor that will make the world a better place by killing people.
When you turned the top dial, it sounded like CHUNK-CHUNK-CHUNK-CHUNK-CHUNK, because there were only 12 channels -- channels 2-13.
The lower dial, the UHF dial, had 83 channels and sounded like DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH as you flew that thing between channels -- channels 14-83.
At the time, 19-inches of color TV was HUGE.
If you sat close enough it was just like being at the movies (no it wasn't).
I worked all summer on a dairy farm to buy that sucker and watched the shit out of it.
The TV speaker was no bigger than a deck of cards. Built-in. Covered with a cheap, plastic grill. Using a screwdriver, I tore out the grill, got hold of the wires, and hooked them to two stereo speakers.
This is why the TV blew up after 6 months. Those speakers drew too much power.
But for a while those speaker made it sound like I was at the movies (no, they didn’t).
Today, you can buy a 32-inch flat screen TV from Walmart for $89. That includes free shipping. You don't even have to leave the house. For $89 dollars a guy brings that miracle right to your door.
Anyway, today I have a 60-inch plasma hooked up to 5.1 surround sound. In my basement (or, as we now call it: the "lower level"), I have a hi-def projector that beams onto a 14-foot wide by 7-foor tall screen and fires off 7.1 channels of that sweet surround sound.
It is just like being at the movies (ohellyes, it is).
While I don't like being old, I'm glad to have at least lived through these amazing technological advances. Every time I turn on those TVs, I am still AWED. Even after all these years, I sit there in amazement, I sit there thinking about that first TV and how hard I worked for it and how much it sucked and how much it really sucked that it died after six months and I don't feel even a hint of sentimentality towards that piece of shit and sometimes at night I'm tempted to get up, sneak into the other room, and dry hump my plasma TV, but I don't because of the way the dog will look at me.
https://twitter.com/NolteNC
My first TV cost $400. This was 1982, so in today's money that is $615.
I paid $615 for a 19-inch color TV.
Remember those? They were the size of four dorm microwaves and weighed about 90 pounds.
There was no remote. Just an on/off/volume button and two huge dials that were about the size of those dials you see Bond Villains use to turn up the heat in the plutonium reactor that will make the world a better place by killing people.
When you turned the top dial, it sounded like CHUNK-CHUNK-CHUNK-CHUNK-CHUNK, because there were only 12 channels -- channels 2-13.
The lower dial, the UHF dial, had 83 channels and sounded like DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH as you flew that thing between channels -- channels 14-83.
At the time, 19-inches of color TV was HUGE.
If you sat close enough it was just like being at the movies (no it wasn't).
I worked all summer on a dairy farm to buy that sucker and watched the shit out of it.
The TV speaker was no bigger than a deck of cards. Built-in. Covered with a cheap, plastic grill. Using a screwdriver, I tore out the grill, got hold of the wires, and hooked them to two stereo speakers.
This is why the TV blew up after 6 months. Those speakers drew too much power.
But for a while those speaker made it sound like I was at the movies (no, they didn’t).
Today, you can buy a 32-inch flat screen TV from Walmart for $89. That includes free shipping. You don't even have to leave the house. For $89 dollars a guy brings that miracle right to your door.
Anyway, today I have a 60-inch plasma hooked up to 5.1 surround sound. In my basement (or, as we now call it: the "lower level"), I have a hi-def projector that beams onto a 14-foot wide by 7-foor tall screen and fires off 7.1 channels of that sweet surround sound.
It is just like being at the movies (ohellyes, it is).
While I don't like being old, I'm glad to have at least lived through these amazing technological advances. Every time I turn on those TVs, I am still AWED. Even after all these years, I sit there in amazement, I sit there thinking about that first TV and how hard I worked for it and how much it sucked and how much it really sucked that it died after six months and I don't feel even a hint of sentimentality towards that piece of shit and sometimes at night I'm tempted to get up, sneak into the other room, and dry hump my plasma TV, but I don't because of the way the dog will look at me.
