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Even when we do "good" deeds, I think there's always an element of selfishness because doing something good also tends to feel good. You feel good about yourself, maybe you'll receive praise, you did something good for someone/something you like, or for a cause you personally believe in, etc. You get something out of it. There's nothing wrong with that, and I believe those self-fellating drivers are what motivates most people to do good deeds.
But in order to be more altruistic in this sliding scale, you have to do something that helps others but you don't end up feeling good about it.
For me it was working at a cat shelter.
I was involved with a dog shelter already at the time and I loved it. I absolutely love dogs, and most of the dogs I was allowed to work with were lovely because the dogs that were too problematic were the job of the people who were trained. The work was relatively easy for me: walk the dogs, feed them, socialize with them, take pictures for social media so they can get adopted, etc. The hardest part was that they often times would give me the biggest dogs with tons of energy because other volunteers were either weaker or scared of them, but of course I didn't mind. The work was also quite spontaneous so even though I ended up going every week, I didn't have to; whoever showed up that day could volunteer. You didn't have to be there a certain amount of time. I usually walked a few dogs and spent most of the day, but you would walk one dog and go home if you had other obligations. They were cool and happy with any help they got. The staff were nice and grateful for the volunteers and the other volunteers were also cool. I made some friends. The location was also nice because it was out in the country side so we could walk the dogs near a stream with trees.
Basically pleasant work, nice people, nice location, low commitment, lovely dogs. The only downside was that I had to drive more than an hour every time. But I always came back home feeling good. It felt really good when a dog I bonded with got adopted.
Because I enjoyed it so much, I decided to volunteer at a cat shelter in the city much closer to where I lived. Cats are okay to an extent but I'm much more of a dog person, but I decided to give it a go to do some good. It was a totally different experience. The location was a shitty, small, run down apartment-renovated into a shelter. For some reason the staff were a bit more secretive about the location and less welcoming. Sometimes it felt like I was going to some shoddy brothel. I didn't understand how they expected to get the cats adopted by being so secretive. The work itself was much more hands on: most of the cats were sick that needed medication so most of the time I was trying to grab cats that were trying to scratch and bite me so I could force feed them medication that it didn't want. Some of them eventually died anyway. Socializing was a part of the work but most of the cats were traumatized so they were hissing at you half the time. I didn't bond with any of the cats. I had to wash cat-shit stained litter boxes and clean cat vomit off the floor. It also required more commitment because I had to commit at least a few months and had a time slot of 4 hours I needed to go to every weekend. Both the staff and other volunteers were stand offish and not very friendly. We had a group chat for the volunteers and the staff liked to remind us that we are there to work, not just to play with the cats. That annoyed me. Not a lot of gratitude for people who were taking time out of their weekend to do work they're not getting paid for. It wasn't as physically demanding as the dog shelter, but I always left feeling drained and didn't feel good.
Harder work, not so nice people, depressing environment, high commitment. I was doing it purely for the cats, an animal I didn't like as much.
Have you ever done something altruistic that you didn't feel good about?
But in order to be more altruistic in this sliding scale, you have to do something that helps others but you don't end up feeling good about it.
For me it was working at a cat shelter.
I was involved with a dog shelter already at the time and I loved it. I absolutely love dogs, and most of the dogs I was allowed to work with were lovely because the dogs that were too problematic were the job of the people who were trained. The work was relatively easy for me: walk the dogs, feed them, socialize with them, take pictures for social media so they can get adopted, etc. The hardest part was that they often times would give me the biggest dogs with tons of energy because other volunteers were either weaker or scared of them, but of course I didn't mind. The work was also quite spontaneous so even though I ended up going every week, I didn't have to; whoever showed up that day could volunteer. You didn't have to be there a certain amount of time. I usually walked a few dogs and spent most of the day, but you would walk one dog and go home if you had other obligations. They were cool and happy with any help they got. The staff were nice and grateful for the volunteers and the other volunteers were also cool. I made some friends. The location was also nice because it was out in the country side so we could walk the dogs near a stream with trees.
Basically pleasant work, nice people, nice location, low commitment, lovely dogs. The only downside was that I had to drive more than an hour every time. But I always came back home feeling good. It felt really good when a dog I bonded with got adopted.
Because I enjoyed it so much, I decided to volunteer at a cat shelter in the city much closer to where I lived. Cats are okay to an extent but I'm much more of a dog person, but I decided to give it a go to do some good. It was a totally different experience. The location was a shitty, small, run down apartment-renovated into a shelter. For some reason the staff were a bit more secretive about the location and less welcoming. Sometimes it felt like I was going to some shoddy brothel. I didn't understand how they expected to get the cats adopted by being so secretive. The work itself was much more hands on: most of the cats were sick that needed medication so most of the time I was trying to grab cats that were trying to scratch and bite me so I could force feed them medication that it didn't want. Some of them eventually died anyway. Socializing was a part of the work but most of the cats were traumatized so they were hissing at you half the time. I didn't bond with any of the cats. I had to wash cat-shit stained litter boxes and clean cat vomit off the floor. It also required more commitment because I had to commit at least a few months and had a time slot of 4 hours I needed to go to every weekend. Both the staff and other volunteers were stand offish and not very friendly. We had a group chat for the volunteers and the staff liked to remind us that we are there to work, not just to play with the cats. That annoyed me. Not a lot of gratitude for people who were taking time out of their weekend to do work they're not getting paid for. It wasn't as physically demanding as the dog shelter, but I always left feeling drained and didn't feel good.
Harder work, not so nice people, depressing environment, high commitment. I was doing it purely for the cats, an animal I didn't like as much.
Have you ever done something altruistic that you didn't feel good about?
