Tell us more. How old is your mom and do you have any siblings? What was it like growing up with her?
I have a step sister, but no biological siblings. She is 71.
It was just her and me for the first four years of my life in a little apartment. She took me to daycare and worked hard as a nurse. My aunt and her teamed up to help raise me during that time, before she married my dad.
I remember the time in that little apartment very fondly. We didn’t have much money wise but she was able to get me some ninja turtles and ghostbusters toys, and taped movies and shows for me to watch on the VHS machine we had.
She read to me every single night. All sorts of stories. Classic literature, Dick Tracy, Hardy Boys. Before we started a story she made me read the name of the authors and illustrators out loud, and would read to me until I fell asleep. Sometimes I would crawl out of my crib and sneak into her bed and play with her hair until she woke up and put me back in my bed.
I had lots of cousins because she came from an Irish family of 8 children. She raised me catholic and we went to church on Sundays. I had family around pretty often, most of them except my one aunt were a 2 hour drive away but they came in to see us a lot.
I would sleep over with my cousins and spent time at her friends place, I remember it all well and very fondly.
When I was 4 she married my dad and they have stayed together ever since. He came from a big Irish family too and I met many more cousins and aunts and uncles, they welcomed me like one of their own, and I inherited a sister. She has since had 3 kids and I love my nephews and spoiled them growing up, but they are all men now.
When we moved I struggled a bit in the new place. We were about 6 hours from my old home but we made the drive back and forth on holidays and stuff to see family. I made friends and did okay enough in school to go to university, which she helped pay for.
I got to live in a house with a back yard, my dad built a basketball net for me and I could explore. Unfortunately I got really bad allergies which have since grown out of but I was inside a lot. But I liked reading and keeping my own company so it was fun for me anyway. My mom often did my laundry for me, she cooked and cleaned. She always did big family dinners and my cousins actually lived with us here and there growing up, based on their situations. A neighborhood kid moved in with us as well when his mom drank and mistreated him and I liked spending time with my friend.
She would play cards with her girlfriends and bicker with my dad. She always brought people with Down’s syndrome into our home from the local charity and I remember I was such a little shit I actually got annoyed by it, I will never forget when she sat me down and told me “Michael; these people have done nothing wrong.” And I thankfully got it and didn’t act as shitty anymore.
We had our share of fights. Sometimes she wasn’t nice. She liked to drink red wine from time to time and sometimes said mean things. She wasn’t a perfect saint or anything but she was way better than most other human beings in my opinion. Her work as a nurse was pretty brutal sometimes. Doctors didn’t always treat nurses great and she had to miss Christmas every now and then. People still get sick around the holidays after all. My dad was a bit of a rough edged kind of guy, working hard in the trades and providing a good life for us. She got menopause younger than most women, early onset or something, so I had to take some shit as a pre teen. So there was some anger in the house and I learned to avoid it in various ways, but that is part of becoming independent and growing up.
She would pick me up from school sometimes at lunch and we would get burgers and milkshakes.
I never had to want for anything. They bought me Nintendo and toys. They helped pay for my schooling. They drove me places and helped me with schoolwork. I really enjoyed watching TV with her, watching movies with her, going to the movies. We watched Star Trek and Star Wars and Ghostbusters together, and so many other things. When Luke came back in Mandalorian I was sitting beside her and her reaction was so happy it made me tear up.
She’s really been quite a person.
She also has a lung disease she has had since before I was born which slowly tore apart her lungs and forced her to take steroids. She also got breast cancer which she survived but they had to cut her badly.
About 5 years ago a doctor fucked up her blood pressure medication and that gave her a stroke which paralyzed parts of her body, crippled her arm and changed her a little bit. But she is still kind and gracious and generous and everyone loves her. When she was in the hospital I slept beside her every night in one of those shitty hospital chairs. Since she has been out she has been in a wheelchair. One time I lost patience with her and I really hate myself for it. I made her cry and I want to kill myself when think about. I don’t even know what I was mad about. I still see her eyes tearing up sometimes when I close my eyes.
I think I could have been a much better son. Gave her grandkids and been better to her. Taken her out to more things. Been more patient. Helped out more. But I’m happy I never did anything so bad she couldn’t forgive me for.
