Mayberry Chat Thread V5: Dogs are the best

I’ve reached the age where trimming my eyebrows once a month has become a necessity. Meanwhile, you’ve got a guy like Martin Scorsese, worth probably north of $150 million, walking around with eyebrows with more density than an Oxford philosophy lecture since 1988.

Yo, Martin, I think you can afford a barber!
 
I had a bit of a disagreement with an employee at the grocery store today. While I was in the bakery section grabbing a fresh loaf of bread from the basket, I picked it up with my hand (without touching any other loaves). The employee approached me and said,

"Excuse me, but you're supposed to use the tongs."

I responded, "So, I'm supposed to touch the handle of the tongs and risk picking up germs from the dozens of people who've touched it today?"

He replied, "Well, they didn't touch this part," gesturing to the part of the tongs that actually grabs the bread.

I said, "So you're telling me it's more sanitary to touch the handle of those tongs than to just touch the single loaf of bread I'm going to eat?"

He repeated, "You're supposed to use the tongs..."

I said, "That makes no sense. If I had touched another loaf of bread in the basket while picking up this one, I’d understand, but I only handled the loaf I’m buying and eating. But yeah, whatever... I get it."

He nodded awkwardly, and I walked away to finish my shopping.

People are fucking weird.
 
subtlySteve said:
I had a bit of a disagreement with an employee at the grocery store today. While I was in the bakery section grabbing a fresh loaf of bread from the basket, I picked it up with my hand (without touching any other loaves). The employee approached me and said,

"Excuse me, but you're supposed to use the tongs."

I responded, "So, I'm supposed to touch the handle of the tongs and risk picking up germs from the dozens of people who've touched it today?"

He replied, "Well, they didn't touch this part," gesturing to the part of the tongs that actually grabs the bread.

I said, "So you're telling me it's more sanitary to touch the handle of those tongs than to just touch the single loaf of bread I'm going to eat?"

He repeated, "You're supposed to use the tongs..."

I said, "That makes no sense. If I had touched another loaf of bread in the basket while picking up this one, I’d understand, but I only handled the loaf I’m buying and eating. But yeah, whatever... I get it."

He nodded awkwardly, and I walked away to finish my shopping.

People are fucking weird.
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You should've tried to fight him imo
 
I almost lost my balls, just now, but I made the play that allowed me to keep them, and I'm feeling blessed and good about life. I'm severely cut on my left hand, and also took a small cut on my right thumb and a long cut on my left knee, and I ain't even mad. I still have my gear in one piece. It's a new day!
 
Bobby Boulders said:
I almost lost my balls, just now, but I made the play that allowed me to keep them, and I'm feeling blessed and good about life. I'm severely cut on my left hand, and also took a small cut on my right thumb and a long cut on my left knee, and I ain't even mad. I still have my gear in one piece. It's a new day!
Click to expand...
Glad Bobby’s boulders are intact for you. What happened?
 
helax said:
Glad Bobby’s boulders are intact for you. What happened?
Click to expand...
I'd just gotten out of the shower and was very thirsty, and the glass I'd used toppled and shattered on the counter. And if I hadn't moved as quickly as Merab and Umar did last night in defending TDs, the big piece of glass that cut my hands and leg was barreling right for my most important pieces. Really humbled and feeling good about life today, counting my blessings
 
I'm kinda surprised we survived the 1960s. We actually let a bunch of mad scientists do mad scientist things, and they were like "what's the most dangerous thing we can possibly do?" What they came up with was Project Pluto, this is what happens when you let rocket scientists play with nukes.

 
Lord give me the strength not to get purple tires for my pink bike.

images
 
Bobby Boulders said:
I'd just gotten out of the shower and was very thirsty, and the glass I'd used toppled and shattered on the counter. And if I hadn't moved as quickly as Merab and Umar did last night in defending TDs, the big piece of glass that cut my hands and leg was barreling right for my most important pieces. Really humbled and feeling good about life today, counting my blessings
Click to expand...

Poor Bobby! That horrible scare you must have had! You need some more massaging to sooth your mind!
ivana-milicevic-the-mind-of-the-married-man.gif


No homo. Just let them balls hang out and they'll attract a masseuse in no time, IMO.
 
Gotta love the internet. Kids can just head over to youtube and learn how to make TNT.
Back in my day we had to order books from Paladin Press to learn this stuff.

 
subtlySteve said:
I had a bit of a disagreement with an employee at the grocery store today. While I was in the bakery section grabbing a fresh loaf of bread from the basket, I picked it up with my hand (without touching any other loaves). The employee approached me and said,

"Excuse me, but you're supposed to use the tongs."

I responded, "So, I'm supposed to touch the handle of the tongs and risk picking up germs from the dozens of people who've touched it today?"

He replied, "Well, they didn't touch this part," gesturing to the part of the tongs that actually grabs the bread.

I said, "So you're telling me it's more sanitary to touch the handle of those tongs than to just touch the single loaf of bread I'm going to eat?"

He repeated, "You're supposed to use the tongs..."

I said, "That makes no sense. If I had touched another loaf of bread in the basket while picking up this one, I’d understand, but I only handled the loaf I’m buying and eating. But yeah, whatever... I get it."

He nodded awkwardly, and I walked away to finish my shopping.

People are fucking weird.
Click to expand...

While the tongs may have contaminants from others who have touched the handles, your skin acts as a protective barrier to these. So provided you clean your hands before you eat or bite your nails or whatever, you’re ok. The ends of the tongs should have been sanitized before the place opened so they are clean. When you reach your dirty dick beaters inside the case, even though you only grab the bread you will buy, there are microscopic organisms that leave your hand in the process contaminating what should be a clean environment possibly affecting the rest of the bread. So if someone is sick and wiping his nose with his hand, and then reaches inside to grab only the bread he will buy, still a chance others can get sick. Is it a perfect system? No, but it’s not just them being cunts.


If you want your typical answer, should have waved the tongs in front of his face and made them disappear or something.
 
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