Marathon runners are disgusting

[whocares]

I know it's only January but you just became the frontrunner for poster of the year

I'll humbly accept that crown now before I fuck it up by February

 

[SwaggyT]

Every time I drink an entire case of Ice House I usually end up shitting my pants. Don't judge something you don't understand.

 

[Rhood]

They should wear diapers so it doesn't look noticeable.
What kind of diet are they on where they shit while running?
They should quit eating Kimchi, Yogurt, or Sauerkraut for breakfast and stay away from Kombucha.

 

[Osculater]

I'm sure the squeeze out whatever they can before they start, but the sport has a long enough duration so they can cook up a new one whilst they're participating. Especially when they've had a breakfast of high fibre carbs, yogurt and fruit, chased it down with energy drinks and gels, whilst simutaneously putting their body into a metabolic state where it's not prioritising digestion.

Personally I think the guys that run until their nipples bleed have reached the bottom rung of dignity.

The runners carbo-load before a run

 

[toasty]

If you’ve ever surfed or scuba dived and claim you’ve never pissed in your wetsuit. This rabbit right here is a calling you a yellow bellied liar

Plus Luke Cummo and Lyotto both drank their own pee as part of their mma training so mma fighters are disgusting but I say go team yellow!

 

[Gene Tunney]

Tell me about it. Marathon Runners?

Yucky.

Ptooey.

 

[Sweater of AV]

How the hell is it just acceptable to shit your pants in this sport?

You don't see this in any other sport. The stakes and money are much higher in football, but you don't see Patrick Mahomes shitting his pants because he's too important to come out of the game.

And in MMA, yes, there have been a couple very rare instances where a fighter has sharted, no need to post gifs, but fighters are getting hit in the gut, body triangled, and stacked in the guard, which would make it very difficult to hold in any tummy trouble you're having. And yet it's STILL incredibly rare.

And I understand that it takes 4 hours to run a marathon, my point is that they should stop and take a shit if they need to. Then go back to running.

Racecar drivers need to make pit stops for gas and tires, they just learned to get it done as fast as possible.

Train have a speedy shit in one of the portable toilets along the marathon path, and stop shitting while you run!

When you run for a long time, your bowels will sometimes just say "fuck it, you're on your own." Try it some time. That being said, shitting yourself is not as common as you're making it out to be. Most that do have to go will take a rest stop, whether at a planned location or elsewhere. The Mahomes analogy makes zero sense.

Frankly, anyone that's running 4 hour times shouldn't be shitting themselves unless they're looking for attention or they have no idea what they're doing. I always laugh at the people who take it so seriously. They're usually just idiots. The only people that have an excuse to shit their pants are elite runners.

 

[pugilistico]

Bodily waste deposited in the cage now gets you a DQ loss.

Spoiler

No shit.

Running a marathon apparently isn't as civilized yet.

That's bullshit. Isn't teh UFC supposed to be "closest to real fighting?" or something like that? What's a more dominant display than shitting on your opponent in a street fight?
It should win you the round at least.

 

[Slobodan]

That's bullshit. Isn't teh UFC supposed to be "closest to real fighting?" or something like that? What's a more dominant display than shitting on your opponent in a street fight?
It should win you the round at least.

It worked for Tim Sylvia when he beat Ausserio Silva by UD.

I think Kevin Randleman also shit himself in a fight that he won.

 

[Killer Whale]

It’s not normal!
There’s a very very small percentage of people who shart their shorts that all band together to write and create articles about it being a “thing” and that it’s “normal” when they’re all just trying to cope with the embarrassment of sharting their pants!

 

[volcom5]

There’s been a few NFL players that have shit their pants during the game, NFL have a halftime where Marathon runners do not. Paul Pierce shit his shorts during the NBA finals, Lamar Jackson a few years ago left the game to go shit.

 

[Osculater]

It worked for Tim Sylvia when he beat Ausserio Silva by UD.

I think Kevin Randleman also shit himself in a fight that he won.

Also Yoel Romero squirted in his shorts

 

[Slobodan]

Also Yoel Romero squirted in his shorts

He still claims is was just sweat lol

 

[Osculater]

He still claims is was just sweat lol

Doo doo sweat

 

[Yoricks Wisdom]

all I read was 'stop shitting while you run.'

seems reasonable.

 

[GergreG]

I'm sure the squeeze out whatever they can before they start, but the sport has a long enough duration so they can cook up a new one whilst they're participating. Especially when they've had a breakfast of high fibre carbs, yogurt and fruit, chased it down with energy drinks and gels, whilst simutaneously putting their body into a metabolic state where it's not prioritising digestion.

Personally I think the guys that run until their nipples bleed have reached the bottom rung of dignity.

Ouch. Usually the nipples can start feeling pretty sore after about 10k. This is why 'experienced' runners (ie not this guy in the photo) either lube up, wear some type of band aid, or do what I do and wear a type of rash guard so there's no rubbing.

As for shitting mid run. Your body tries to get all the shit out of your body before a long run but sometimes with the early starts people aren't able to unload. This is why there's huge lines at toilets at the start line.

 

[Brofessor]

Ok marathon noob. Scatbacking is strategic. All the best marathonners eat an extra spicy chili deluxe before the race. It starts hitting the guts around mile 16, just in time for early activation. When you get in a tight gnoosh (thats what marathonners call a pack) and you've been trying to shake MDaiye Boomaye for the past 7 miles but he won't budge, you unleash the sluicies ever so slightly to try and disrupt his gait or if you're lucky, slip him up. At the very least, the trail of funk may undo his senses and timing if he hasn't been training his scatback defense vigorously throughout camp (very rare that anyone would skip this crucial training, but it has happened).

If you're truly a master at scatbacking, you can hold off on your drop points many times throughout the final stretches, expertly delivering slip lanes to the track. Lemi Berhanu's "Mad dash to the brown gold" of 2016 is perhaps the greatest example in recent history we have of this brilliant marathonian technique. He slipped out 3 runners, funked out another and even managed to shit on the second place runners shoe. Who was it? No one remembers his name, he is only known as "Shitfoot" now. They even made a documentary about this on the Scat Olympics podcast.

Man, this gotta be the best post I've ever read. Lmao.

 

[FyrFytr998]

Back in the Marine Corps, we had dudes shit their shorts on a PFT run regularly. Gotta get them points.

 

[KeepingItReal]

You sound very passionate about this.

 

[Slothbroth]

It's strategic.. the equivalent of dropping a banana or turtle shell behind you.