Marathon runners are disgusting

[Fedorgasm]

How the hell is it just acceptable to shit your pants in this sport?

You don't see this in any other sport. The stakes and money are much higher in football, but you don't see Patrick Mahomes shitting his pants because he's too important to come out of the game.

And in MMA, yes, there have been a couple very rare instances where a fighter has sharted, no need to post gifs, but fighters are getting hit in the gut, body triangled, and stacked in the guard, which would make it very difficult to hold in any tummy trouble you're having. And yet it's STILL incredibly rare.

And I understand that it takes 4 hours to run a marathon, my point is that they should stop and take a shit if they need to. Then go back to running.

Racecar drivers need to make pit stops for gas and tires, they just learned to get it done as fast as possible.

Train have a speedy shit in one of the portable toilets along the marathon path, and stop shitting while you run!

 

[Natural Order]

You imagine how chapped and raw the ass cheeks would be after running 20 miles with an unwiped asshole?

 

[Spam On Rye]

Add bicyclists to that. Put em all in prison.

 

[Osculater]

It's because of the stress and catabolic hormones that puts the sympathetic nervous system into overdrive and prevents you from holding your piss and shit

 

[Osculater]

It's because of the stress and catabolic hormones that puts the sympathetic nervous system into overdrive and prevents you from holding your piss and shit

You imagine how chapped and raw the ass cheeks would be after running 20 miles with an unwiped asshole?

That's one sore gooch

 

[KBE6EKCTAH_CCP]

But that doesn‘t really happen does it? I don t buy it.

 

[Kowboy On Sherdog]

Add UFC Fighters to that list

 

[Fedorgasm]

But that doesn‘t really happen does it? I don t buy it.

If you're brave the you can Google images of marathon runners shitting their pants while running. Apparently it's pretty common now.

 

[Ardaric]

Sherdog mods also do this during long modding sessions. They just sit in their own filth then get hosed down at the end by their mothers.

 

[Fedorgasm]

But that doesn‘t really happen does it? I don t buy it.

Marathon Runners Poop Themselves An Extraordinary Amount. This Is Why.

So what is it about the sport that makes so many participants poo their pants?

www.iflscience.com

 

[nonoob]

Add UFC Fighters to that list

Bodily waste deposited in the cage now gets you a DQ loss.

Spoiler

No shit.

Running a marathon apparently isn't as civilized yet.

 

[Contempt]

How the hell is it just acceptable to shit your pants in this sport?

You don't see this in any other sport. The stakes and money are much higher in football, but you don't see Patrick Mahomes shitting his pants because he's too important to come out of the game.

And in MMA, yes, there have been a couple very rare instances where a fighter has sharted, no need to post gifs, but fighters are getting hit in the gut, body triangled, and stacked in the guard, which would make it very difficult to hold in any tummy trouble you're having. And yet it's STILL incredibly rare.

And I understand that it takes 4 hours to run a marathon, my point is that they should stop and take a shit if they need to. Then go back to running.

Racecar drivers need to make pit stops for gas and tires, they just learned to get it done as fast as possible.

Train have a speedy shit in one of the portable toilets along the marathon path, and stop shitting while you run!

You've been told runners...

 

[EndlessCritic]

This is what peak performance looks like.

 

[Contempt]

This is what peak performance looks like.

Exactly, it's called giving a shit about your performance...

 

[Bobby00]

They should incorporate the going to the toilet part and your waste should be weighted for extra points. Fibre would become the preferred diet of these athletes.

 

[Osculater]

If you are constipated then go for a long run

 

[Kardashians]

They don’t prep for this? Do a lil enema before hand???

 

[jimbob27]

They don’t prep for this? Do a lil enema before hand???

I'm sure the squeeze out whatever they can before they start, but the sport has a long enough duration so they can cook up a new one whilst they're participating. Especially when they've had a breakfast of high fibre carbs, yogurt and fruit, chased it down with energy drinks and gels, whilst simutaneously putting their body into a metabolic state where it's not prioritising digestion.

Personally I think the guys that run until their nipples bleed have reached the bottom rung of dignity.

 

[whocares]

Ok marathon noob. Scatbacking is strategic. All the best marathonners eat an extra spicy chili deluxe before the race. It starts hitting the guts around mile 16, just in time for early activation. When you get in a tight gnoosh (thats what marathonners call a pack) and you've been trying to shake MDaiye Boomaye for the past 7 miles but he won't budge, you unleash the sluicies ever so slightly to try and disrupt his gait or if you're lucky, slip him up. At the very least, the trail of funk may undo his senses and timing if he hasn't been training his scatback defense vigorously throughout camp (very rare that anyone would skip this crucial training, but it has happened).

If you're truly a master at scatbacking, you can hold off on your drop points many times throughout the final stretches, expertly delivering slip lanes to the track. Lemi Berhanu's "Mad dash to the brown gold" of 2016 is perhaps the greatest example in recent history we have of this brilliant marathonian technique. He slipped out 3 runners, funked out another and even managed to shit on the second place runners shoe. Who was it? No one remembers his name, he is only known as "Shitfoot" now. They even made a documentary about this on the Scat Olympics podcast.

 

[Fedorgasm]

Ok marathon noob. Scatbacking is strategic. All the best marathonners eat an extra spicy chili deluxe before the race. It starts hitting the guts around mile 16, just in time for early activation. When you get in a tight gnoosh (thats what marathonners call a pack) and you've been trying to shake MDaiye Boomaye for the past 7 miles but he won't budge, you unleash the sluicies ever so slightly to try and disrupt his gait or if you're lucky, slip him up. At the very least, the trail of funk may undo his senses and timing if he hasn't been training his scatback defense vigorously throughout camp (very rare that anyone would skip this crucial training, but it has happened).

If you're truly a master at scatbacking, you can hold off on your drop points many times throughout the final stretches, expertly delivering slip lanes to the track. Lemi Berhanu's "Mad dash to the brown gold" of 2016 is perhaps the greatest example in recent history we have of this brilliant marathonian technique. He slipped out 3 runners, funked out another and even managed to shit on the second place runners shoe. Who was it? No one remembers his name, he is only known as "Shitfoot" now. They even made a documentary about this on the Scat Olympics podcast.

I know it's only January but you just became the frontrunner for poster of the year