making the most of your single time

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devante

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do you think some people waste the time they have being single, so that when they end up in a relationship or potential one then they aren't in the mental emotional or financial place they need to be to give the relationship the best chance to survive.

an what i mean is that you see guys who all they did was talk about finding the right girl, now that they have her all they want to do is hang w/the guys or hit the club. Or guys who never focused on school or careers when all their time was theirs; now they get a woman and all they want to do is work or study, which is cool. But now it impacts your relationship; an then they complain about her wanting time and attention, did you not understand relationships go two ways and you were gonna have to put into it, not just take.

this goes for girls too

i just hear alot of people who whine and bitch about wanting to be w/someone, then they get someone and instantly want the benefits or freedoms of single life; when they had it and didn't take adv of it when they were single.
 
maybe people just didnt know what they want?

or the old saying people want what they cant have
 
devante said:
do you think some people waste the time they have being single, so that when they end up in a relationship or potential one then they aren't in the mental emotional or financial place they need to be to give the relationship the best chance to survive.

an what i mean is that you see guys who all they did was talk about finding the right girl, now that they have her all they want to do is hang w/the guys or hit the club. Or guys who never focused on school or careers when all their time was theirs; now they get a woman and all they want to do is work or study, which is cool. But now it impacts your relationship; an then they complain about her wanting time and attention, did you not understand relationships go two ways and you were gonna have to put into it, not just take.

this goes for girls too

i just hear alot of people who whine and bitch about wanting to be w/someone, then they get someone and instantly want the benefits or freedoms of single life; when they had it and didn't take adv of it when they were single.
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the term, "the grass is always greener..." seems to apply, here.

there are benefits to being single, and in being part of a relationship. i think that a healthy person is able to enjoy a fulfilling life in either scenario.

i do know of people who absolutely have to be in a relationship, or they become depressed and begin to have a low self-esteem about themselves. i don't find that to be healthy.
 
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devante said:
do you think some people waste the time they have being single, so that when they end up in a relationship or potential one then they aren't in the mental emotional or financial place they need to be to give the relationship the best chance to survive.

an what i mean is that you see guys who all they did was talk about finding the right girl, now that they have her all they want to do is hang w/the guys or hit the club. Or guys who never focused on school or careers when all their time was theirs; now they get a woman and all they want to do is work or study, which is cool. But now it impacts your relationship; an then they complain about her wanting time and attention, did you not understand relationships go two ways and you were gonna have to put into it, not just take.

this goes for girls too

i just hear alot of people who whine and bitch about wanting to be w/someone, then they get someone and instantly want the benefits or freedoms of single life; when they had it and didn't take adv of it when they were single.
Click to expand...


My guess is they're just not that into you.
 
devante said:
then they aren't in the mental emotional or financial place they need to be to give the relationship the best chance to survive.
Click to expand...

I see this so often nowadays, especially those <25. Most of my friends getting married now don't even have a set career so it looks like they get into relationships based on fear rather than love. I think I'm going off topic a little bit here but I don't even see how someone can justify getting married after you know your partner for 2-3 even 5 years. You know them for that short of a time and you think you're gonna spend the next 50+ years with them? Ridiculous.
 
Since breaking up with my ex, I've been working more, saving more, training more, and losing weight.
 
Becoming single has been the best thing to happen to me. I was locked up a series of relationships for 8 years until I just had enough. The checking in, the jealously, the lame friends, lame family, and not being yourself was too much stress.

Being single makes you more independent, wise, cultured, and develops you more as a man. Or it turns you into a raging alcoholic, but that's really up to the individual to make their own path.

The only plus to a relationship is steady pussy and companionship. And sometimes that sucks ass. Most of my married/relationship bound friends envy my lifestyle and wish they could be in my shoes. I definitely don't want any part of their lifestyle of looking for a house, planning a wedding that cost ass loads of money for no reason, and last but not least, DRAMA.
 
My bro bro got grapes in palo alto....


Also it is much easier to be a single gay man now a days, more fun at least.
 
devante said:
do you think some people waste the time they have being single, so that when they end up in a relationship or potential one then they aren't in the mental emotional or financial place they need to be to give the relationship the best chance to survive.

an what i mean is that you see guys who all they did was talk about finding the right girl, now that they have her all they want to do is hang w/the guys or hit the club. Or guys who never focused on school or careers when all their time was theirs; now they get a woman and all they want to do is work or study, which is cool. But now it impacts your relationship; an then they complain about her wanting time and attention, did you not understand relationships go two ways and you were gonna have to put into it, not just take.

this goes for girls too

i just hear alot of people who whine and bitch about wanting to be w/someone, then they get someone and instantly want the benefits or freedoms of single life; when they had it and didn't take adv of it when they were single.
Click to expand...

This topic resonates with me. I've been single for a year an a half now, save for a brief relationship, and I'm definitely using the time to my advantage.

In fact, I'm probably going out of my way a bit to avoid potential relationships, as they would wreak havoc upon my plans for the next few years. But I'm not naive, and I understand that girls my age are looking to settle down for the most part. If something perfect was to come along, I wouldn't pass it up. But I'll try to keep my head down for now, and accomplish what I need to accomplish first. My lifestyle and plans aren't really compatible with a relationship for now.
 
Leon Phelps said:
Since breaking up with my ex, I've been working more, saving more, training more, and losing weight.
Click to expand...

Step 1: see above
Step 2: "accidentally" run into her at the store
Step 3:?????
Step 4:profit.
 
I prefer being alone. The only drama in my life now is the own shit that I create by myself.
 
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