Let's make puns

[Clippy]

Be sure to use spoilers

I'll go first

-------------------------------

Why was the butter kicked out of the casino?

Spoiler

Cause it was on a roll

 

[Curmudgeon]

The person who invented the "knock knock joke", won the Nobel prize...

 

[Agent Mulder's Hair]

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.

Spoiler

Then it hit me.

 

[facePuncher7]

These jokes lack

Spoiler

punache

 

[syct23]

FUCKYOU!!!

 

[Headkicktoleg]

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.

Spoiler

Then it hit me.

not a pun

 

[Agent Mulder's Hair]

not a pun

It actually is.

 

[Headkicktoleg]

It actually is.

You're right my bad.

 

[Headkicktoleg]

Dad, did you get a haircut?

Spoiler

No, I got them all cut

 

[NoGoodNamesLeft]

 

[Capt Lunatic]

I spent all day trying to recreate KFC's 12 herbs and spices recipe...

Spoiler

Couldn't do it...I ran out of thyme.

 

[Hotora86]

- What did the fisherman say to the card magician?
- Pick a cod, any cod!

 

[Hotora86]

- What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?
- If you have swine flu, you need oinkment. If you have bird flu, you need tweetment.

 

[Katsumi Yamada]

Ok here goes nothing...

Q: What is Mike Tyson's favourite drink?

A: Punch

 

[Hotora86]

- How did the hipster burn his mouth?
- He sipped his coffee before it was cool.

 

[Hotora86]

- What do you call a fish with no eye?
- Fsh

 

[Hotora86]

- Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
- Because of its bark.

 

[Hotora86]

- What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly?
- A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito.

 

[Hotora86]

- Why didn't the grizzly wear any shoes?
- He wanted to go bear foot.

 

[Hotora86]

- Why won't a bike stand up by itself?
- It's two tired.