"Leave your Ego at the Door"

[Evenflow80]

take a month off, youre overthinking everything and its slowing you way down

I worry that taking a whole month off my cardio will tank. I already struggle with my cardio as it is.

I am thinking maybe cut down to 4 days a week, but roll more than 3 times at end of each class. Time constraints get in the way though.

 

[lechien]

You live by the sword, you die by the sword .

Basically, if gym wins is what made you happy. Then the day we lose more than you win, you will be sad .

Time to think about other reasons why you go to training for. Maybe you will find some other forms of happiness.

 

[The Thrill]

I worry that taking a whole month off my cardio will tank. I already struggle with my cardio as it is.

I am thinking maybe cut down to 4 days a week, but roll more than 3 times at end of each class. Time constraints get in the way though.

youre already overthinking it, just take a month and chill

 

[DatCutman]

You live by the sword, you die by the sword .

Basically, if gym wins is what made you happy. Then the day we lose more than you win, you will be sad .

Time to think about other reasons why you go to training for. Maybe you will find some other forms of happiness.

I went through a similar problem as OP as a young blue belt (granted that was like 10 years ago now but whatever). Lechien's advice is spot on, and the same mindset that got me to fix things. My measurement and happiness came from gym wins, which are a fickle mistress. So I started competing more, and those became my measure of happiness. I still got my ass kicked all the time, felt self-doubt, and sad about shit, but at least it was more spread out over time! Now of course, after 16 years grand total I'm just dead inside and nothing hurts me any more.

Another explanation may be that you've probably been doing the same shit over and over. I've seen it plenty with whitebelts, who start to jam really well on a certain chain of moves/gameplan, and they skyrocket to mediocre. Then they're defeated by their early victories, because they've been hunting the same game to extinction. When's the last time you were just focused on improving/working new techs instead of going with your ol' reliable?

 

[roventu]

if you want to improve at rolling, then you should roll more. 3 rolls is too little. not just by improvement, but by a sample pool. some days I just get starched, but thats bc I rolled only few times and those few rolls were all better belts than me. other days I feel good about my rolls, but thats because overall i rolled with easier competition

lastly, you gotta adjust your mindset. for me, getting wrecked in rolls makes me motivated to become better and work on my holes. im constantly learning new things, counters, and ways to improve my game. if I didn't get tapped by certain submissions, wouldnt get motivated to learn those submissions escapes. If i didnt get passed so easily by a certain pass, wouldn't push myself to find those counters. maybe its different for white belts, but i got no belt to defend, i have no ego as white belt, and i come into randori expecting to just survive and learn. i hope to keep this mentality as i move up though

 

[Will Collazo]

This is more of an open ended question and I don't expect THE answer, just YOUR answer and how you deal with it.

I am not a competitive person by any means. If anything I have a lot of insecurities and often have to struggle to pump myself up just to get out of bed every morning. Like many of you BJJ is my favorite part of the day where I can be among friends, socialize, and most importantly, do something that is fun and you feel great afterwards from doing.

However, the ugly black dog of self doubt always creeps in when other blue belts that I was recently consistently tapping out are now tapping me out and dominating me the whole time we spar. In my gym, I'm the annoying "5 times a week guy who basically lives there", I train more than anyone there, but while I was probably in the top 3 Blues for almost a year, now I'm in the lower half. The whites that made blue that I used to beat consistently well into their blue belts are now consistently beating me, with less training time no less.

Is it because I am older than most at 37? I feel better than ever to be honest, and dont feel any worse than I did in my 20s. Some aches and pains but thats to be expected from being on the mats so much.

I get deflated when I get submitted now. I wasn't always like this because it was a rare thing, but now most blues I roll with, either smash me the whole round or submit me, and that vicious cycle feeds into your self doubt and motivation and basically extends that funk.

It wasn't always like this. I was the gym assassin for a year or more, and I guess that's what bugging me the most, me falling off so far relative to my training partners, despite putting in the time more than anyone.

How do you get through these feelings of self doubt? How to you keep the intensity when you get submitted all the time by people you were beating not so long ago?

Sorry if I sound like a baby, but I figure a lot of you have gone through this before at some point and (obviously) have moved on somehow.

Thanks

Something is not adding up. 5 times a week is a lot of bjj, are you not rolling every class? The more mat time the better you should be getting, its not about age at all. I'm 35 and always smash guys younger than me. I've only been training twice a week because I'm just back from a bad knee injury and I feel I've improve so much, can't wait till I'm back 4 to 5 times a week, I would be so confident on the mats. Maybe your not learning what you need at your current school. a\Also blue is a funky belt, I remember being a veteran blue belt and high level wrestler coming in and giving me a hard time and I wouldant to throw my belt out, not until way into my 4th stripe did I figure out how to deal with them. Honestly you should be smoking people if your putting in so much time, bjj is all about timing and getting that mat time rolling and doing the moves live. I don't get how your getting washed by people at your rank that you train more than? unless they are all brock lesnar or Keenan!

 

[yetanother]

Maybe your not learning what you need at your current school.

If the curriculum is not very good good, it doesn't help you that match.
With bad ones people mostly learn stuff in rolling and he is doing only 3 5 minute ones per day.

 

[Ultra O’Dia]

you’re not getting worse, your club is getting better. in part due to you. now you can improve, too, but also accept smaller victories like holding better positions rather than getting taps.

Its all relative. Your club was weaker when you were tapping everyone. you could go whoop your nonbjj friends for an ego upgrade, and you could also imagine a hypothetical club with only the best rollers around, in which you would be ground beef.

 

[MonkeyNuts!]

You don't go to your academy to tap people out. You go to your academy to learn jiujitsu. "Leave your ego at the door" is in reference to the former, not the latter. You should have emotional investment in your jiujitsu and want it to be the best it can be.

One of the best ways to get rid of the ego about taps or gym wins or who is the best in the gym is to go compete. It expands your world beyond the academy, what was once perceived as your kingdom where everyone is out to get the throne. Then you realize that what happens re: win or lose in the academy doesn't mean shit, because these gym records don't necessarily reflect what happens in a competition. You realize that you don't go to your academy to tap people out, you go to competitions to tap people out. You realize that you go to your academy to build the skills to do that in competition, and that everyone at your academy is someone that can help you, and vice versa.

And it still happens to those who compete, if it has been awhile, your ego might revert and get stuck on silly things like who can tap who in the academy and gym records etc. Then you go compete and you start thinking clearly again.

 

[machomang]

I guess you can look at it from the other point of view, what are the guys that you used to beat that are now beating you thinking?

When I've surpassed training partner, I do think about it and it's usually because I found how to counter their go to moves.

When I first started, I was secretive about my go tos, then when I competed more, I had to fix my holes and would tell my training partners exactly what I'm going for, how I'm going for it, etc That helped me alot.

 

[Vitamin C]

I guess you can look at it from the other point of view, what are the guys that you used to beat that are now beating you thinking?

When I've surpassed training partner, I do think about it and it's usually because I found how to counter their go to moves.

When I first started, I was secretive about my go tos, then when I competed more, I had to fix my holes and would tell my training partners exactly what I'm going for, how I'm going for it, etc That helped me alot.

I find I will often escape something narrowly, or give a guy a hard time controlling me, and if they ask, I will give them the advice they need to smash me next time. Then they do.
I always think as I'm coaching a strong ass blue belt with 40 pounds on me on how to kick my ass "What the hell am I doing?"

 

[Badger67]

Everytime i leave my ego at the door i am unmotivated and train with less intensity or curiosity.

I need my demons in practice, they are what brought me to the doors to begin with.