"Leave your Ego at the Door"

[Evenflow80]

This is more of an open ended question and I don't expect THE answer, just YOUR answer and how you deal with it.

I am not a competitive person by any means. If anything I have a lot of insecurities and often have to struggle to pump myself up just to get out of bed every morning. Like many of you BJJ is my favorite part of the day where I can be among friends, socialize, and most importantly, do something that is fun and you feel great afterwards from doing.

However, the ugly black dog of self doubt always creeps in when other blue belts that I was recently consistently tapping out are now tapping me out and dominating me the whole time we spar. In my gym, I'm the annoying "5 times a week guy who basically lives there", I train more than anyone there, but while I was probably in the top 3 Blues for almost a year, now I'm in the lower half. The whites that made blue that I used to beat consistently well into their blue belts are now consistently beating me, with less training time no less.

Is it because I am older than most at 37? I feel better than ever to be honest, and dont feel any worse than I did in my 20s. Some aches and pains but thats to be expected from being on the mats so much.

I get deflated when I get submitted now. I wasn't always like this because it was a rare thing, but now most blues I roll with, either smash me the whole round or submit me, and that vicious cycle feeds into your self doubt and motivation and basically extends that funk.

It wasn't always like this. I was the gym assassin for a year or more, and I guess that's what bugging me the most, me falling off so far relative to my training partners, despite putting in the time more than anyone.

How do you get through these feelings of self doubt? How to you keep the intensity when you get submitted all the time by people you were beating not so long ago?

Sorry if I sound like a baby, but I figure a lot of you have gone through this before at some point and (obviously) have moved on somehow.

Thanks

 

[jack36767]

Intentional practice is as important if not more than just showing up

 

[asian-glow]

When I was a blue belt I thought about quitting at least once a week. Even now, I think about quitting at least once a month.

Then I watched a video about how when Kurt Osiander was a blue belt, he would throw his gi in the trash all the time, wanting to quit, and then dig it out later. I found it inspiring that even someone who devoted his life to the art could struggle so much at the beginning. More importantly, I realized these thoughts were normal and a sign that I was being sufficiently challenged. Had the challenge been insufficient, I would have been bored. Had the challenge been too great, I would have quit.

Despite it's lack of emphasis, I believe in Jigoro Kano's ethos that martial arts can be a vehicle for self improvement. The likelihood of you ever using your technical skills is likely very small. The characteristics you develop from your martial endeavor, however, such as perseverance, have the potential to translate into other aspects of your life and be used all the time. If you share this belief as I do, I implore you to continue. This is going to sound super lame because it is but the martial arts is ultimately a fight against yourself. If you can endure this storm, you will still have self doubts and you will still get your ass whooped by people who you think should be worse than you. The storms are unavoidable. You can, however, improve your ability to weather through them.

Better yet, take a break. Tell yourself you won't go back for a month. If you train that much I promise you won't last a week. I know because I've tried the same thing. It's too much fun.

 

[esteven]

When you beat everyone up all the time, they're bound to pass you up; the ass-kickings you deliver help them learn to counter you, while teaching you little about beating them. That sort of leapfrog is pretty common. You give them the hard rounds that make them better, and the wheel turns. It might not be what's happening in your case, but it's one possibility.

 

[Solidus Snake]

5 times a week.. every week.. isn't maybe the case you are simply over training? Just sayin'..

That aside, I'm 33 and coming from a literal jiu jitsu lifetime of getting injured/having looong stops and coming backs, I saw by consequence every kind of person getting even with me or even surpassing me.. at this point all I'm trying to do is to shape my jiu jitsu the best I can in regard to me, I suggest you to focus on a similar goal even if your situation is different than mine..

Having said that, I'm not some kind of jedi either.. I get frustrated all the same from time to time and I understand 100% where you are coming from.. but at some point after my last come back, I finally realized that if I get depressed every time a new purple subs me or gives me troubles, the rest of my journey will be hell.. you need to set goals that aren't strictly tied with beating or being better than specifically X or Y.

 

[Evenflow80]

5 times a week.. every week.. isn't maybe the case you are simply over training? Just sayin'..

That aside, I'm 33 and coming from a literal jiu jitsu lifetime of getting injured/having looong stops and coming backs, I saw by consequence every kind of person getting even with me or even surpassing me.. at this point all I'm trying to do is to shape my jiu jitsu the best I can in regard to me, I suggest you to focus on a similar goal even if your situation is different than mine..

Having said that, I'm not some kind of jedi either.. I get frustrated all the same from time to time and I understand 100% where you are coming from.. but at some point after my last come back, I finally realized that if I get depressed every time a new purple subs me or gives me troubles, the rest of my journey will be hell.. you need to set goals that aren't strictly tied with beating or being better than specifically X or Y.

I don't roll very hard every day though. Maybe 3 x 5 minute rolls at the end of each class, so I am not wearing my body out too much. Trying to be smart about how much I roll so as to avoid injuries and fatigue.

 

[QingTian]

I think at blue you simply cannot be well rounded enough to expect to beat someone based on time on mat. There are other variables at play, like holes in your game vs. his strengths, that you aren't covering. Basically a lower belts the matches could be more random. Also you might be trying to flow more given your seniority and drive for purple level technique, so now you are seeing holes revealed without athleticism covering it.

 

[yetanother]

I don't roll very hard every day though. Maybe 3 x 5 minute rolls at the end of each class, so I am not wearing my body out too much. Trying to be smart about how much I roll so as to avoid injuries and fatigue.

Maybe they are beating you with intensity?
Do you skip rolls or there only 3 rolls in class or are only 3 rolls "hard".

 

[Cappy Goodtime]

Your game has probably stagnated. Pick 1 problem you keep on having and find a solution to fix it. After that find another problem. Don't expect drastic changes to happen overnight, but it sounds like you're at the stage where you have to start becoming your own coach.

E.g. When I was a blue belt there was this older 1 dimensional but big and strong purple belt that would always torreando pass me. I recognized that so I got on the tube and found a counter that changed the dynamic of our roles entirely. The purple belt left, but I still use that same counter all these years later.

My "game" is made up of solutions to problems that I found myself having. Your instructor will only take you so far especially at Gracie Barra.

 

[Evenflow80]

Maybe they are beating you with intensity?
Do you skip rolls or there only 3 rolls in class or are only 3 rolls "hard".

Thats another thing, I am one of the more mature (I guess thats the word) blues there so the head coaches often pair me up to roll with brand new white belts. Every once a while is fine but if 2 out of the 3 rolls I get in a day are those whites, then I get upset a bit. I dont mind helping out but I do want to be paired up against equal leveled opponents too.

The reason I only average 3 rolls is:

1) Time. Especially noon class, I have to rush back to work fairly quickly, so I get in what I can after lessons are over.
2) Fear of injuries, the more I roll while tired or sore the greater the chance of injuries which could be severe enough to keep me off mats for months.
3) Sometimes people just dont stay and roll and ones that do, they're odd numbers so someone has to sit out a roll.

I made a thread on here about how I don't like my gyms new emphasis on drilling and technique lessons at expense of sparring....

 

[Evenflow80]

Your game has probably stagnated. Pick 1 problem you keep on having and find a solution to fix it. After that find another problem. Don't expect drastic changes to happen overnight, but it sounds like you're at the stage where you have to start becoming your own coach.

E.g. When I was a blue belt there was this older 1 dimensional but big and strong purple belt that would always torreando pass me. I recognized that so I got on the tube and found a counter that changed the dynamic of our roles entirely. The purple belt left, but I still use that same counter all these years later.

My "game" is made up of solutions to problems that I found myself having. Your instructor will only take you so far especially at Gracie Barra.

Its interesting you say that.... because one of the blues who I have been consistently beating but all of a sudden is now getting me in basically one move: a half guard guillotine of sorts. He has a wrestling background so has this suffocating style when on top or in my half guard. Conversely, if I get his back its pretty much over.

 

[Quebec Nick]

Focus on your guard, your escapes and your sub defense.

I started in my 30s, I'm athletic but with poor explosion. I have good cardio and decent strenght but I can't overpower anyone.

For the last year I mainly focused on my half guard and openguard game. Being the one attacking for sweeps and technically doing the right guard retention techniques helped me a lot. At first my guard wasn't unpassable but if you focus on it a lot, if you troubleshoot and get the right content, your guard gets better really fast and you realise that most peoples passing gamd is really basic.

Rounds are a lot more fun if you have them in your guard and get some sweeps or back takes.

 

[Quebec Nick]

Its interesting you say that.... because one of the blues who I have been consistently beating but all of a sudden is now getting me in basically one move: a half guard guillotine of sorts. He has a wrestling background so has this suffocating style when on top or in my half guard. Conversely, if I get his back its pretty much over.

This was a big issue for me also. In the Lachlan Giles half guard dvd he talks about being all the way in (with the head on the tight like fof getting deep half) or all the way out (underhook half guard posting on your elbow). This took time to sink in but if your focus it works great.

 

[Steve3730]

JiuJitsu is all about plateaus and peaks. You really can't have one without the other and hope to have a lot in your journey. Right now you have plateaued and these other bluebelts are riding up a peak. They will force you evolve,fix things,learn more and get better. You'll get off your plateau and start to climb up to that next peak.

 

[Vitamin C]

I was gonna say, like @esteven mentioned, they may just have gotten used to your game. It can be a good indicator that you need to start to expand and play less of your a game and more of your b and c and d paths.

 

[nefti]

Remember to enjoy the tatame. Focus on the moment the game and not the outcome.

 

[Evenflow80]

JiuJitsu is all about plateaus and peaks. You really can't have one without the other and hope to have a lot in your journey. Right now you have plateaued and these other bluebelts are riding up a peak. They will force you evolve,fix things,learn more and get better. You'll get off your plateau and start to climb up to that next peak.

I think you nailed it. You are absolutely right, I've been doing the same thing for so long, and Im known in my gym for it, that now people have caught up and my guard gets passed easy now and it goes downhill from there. I am thinking of completely changing things up and working more on getting and maintaining my top game. I rarely go for top and always go for bottom/open guard.

This has to be it, the more I think about it.

 

[Your Noodly Master]

Is it because I am older than most at 37?
...
I get deflated when I get submitted now.
..
I was the gym assassin for a year or more.

These three sentences stand out.

1) I'm 45 and I usually feel great too, but at 25 your flexibility, recovery, and stamina are better. Younger guys just have a natural advantage.

2) Feeling deflated at blue being tapped by other blues is pure ego talking. My instructor says all the time that blue is still a beginner's belt. Don't forget that. Some people are naturally gifted or pick it up a lot faster. Everyone has tapped out someone who started before them.

3) Sorry to break it to you, but unless there are no browns or purples you weren't the gym assassin at blue belt. Granted, I had that feeling of invincibility also when rolling with other blues and whites. It can be intoxicating. However, I remember being brought back down to Earth tapping six times in a 5 minute roll with the real gym assassins.

Sorry if this comes across as harsh but you wanted opinions. Take it for what it is, but just don't stop training and don't worry about what other people are doing. Just try to be the best that you can be with your set of skills.

 

[The Thrill]

take a month off, youre overthinking everything and its slowing you way down

 

[Evenflow80]

These three sentences stand out.

1) I'm 45 and I usually feel great too, but at 25 your flexibility, recovery, and stamina are better. Younger guys just have a natural advantage.

2) Feeling deflated at blue being tapped by other blues is pure ego talking. My instructor says all the time that blue is still a beginner's belt. Don't forget that. Some people are naturally gifted or pick it up a lot faster. Everyone has tapped out someone who started before them.

3) Sorry to break it to you, but unless there are no browns or purples you weren't the gym assassin at blue belt. Granted, I had that feeling of invincibility also when rolling with other blues and whites. It can be intoxicating. However, I remember being brought back down to Earth tapping six times in a 5 minute roll with the real gym assassins.

Sorry if this comes across as harsh but you wanted opinions. Take it for what it is, but just don't stop training and don't worry about what other people are doing. Just try to be the best that you can be with your set of skills.

No not harsh at all, thanks!

Everything you said is true, but when I said "gym assassian" I mean strictly out of our blue belts only. There was one blue who consistenly was better than me but thats always been the case since day 1, so don't count him haha.

Its fine though. The great thing about BJJ is I sometimes leave deflated (like when I made this thread) but the next day I can't wait to go back in again.

I need to change my game a bit. I am very much an open/butterfly guard player and that carried me for so long. Need to evolve as everyone caught up.