I agree with you to a point, and I have some of the same feelings. I'm pretty good at Silat style takedowns and I've used the foot sweeps on two different collegiate wrestlers, both by stiff-arming them until they over committed. Being larger than either of them, I could take that liberty.
But imagine a fight with a ton of chaos - some real world, life and death shit. A riot, or a live shooter or a flash mob or a war - something nasty. Do you want to be the guy, like me, who is going to stiff-arm people until they get tired and do a foot sweep, or do you want to be the dude that blast doubles the asshole into the wall before he can hurt anyone?
I have done an awful lot of MMA sparring and clinch sparring - takedowns with strikes. I've done just a ton of it. A lot of the stuff I think I'm good at is an artifact of the reduced intensity and the whole set of moves I do when people go at me 100% is a whole lot more basic, conventional and rough - all the specialness I think I have goes out the window at 100%.
So I don't know. I have mixed feelings on the whole thing. The guy I took judo from taught it mostly no-gi and mostly the way I see wrestlers train, very hard and fast and aggressive, with simple set-ups and attacks rather than a lot of counters. He talks a lot of shit to me about stiff-arming and looking for a counter instead of winning. /door slams "You are all dead. That was a gun shot. Everyone still screwing around is dead."
In sparring, you have the luxury of baiting people, taking advantage of trained responses, taking the time to gas opponents, but that's not necessarily the best tactic for many environments where martial arts are important, rather than cute.
I have a friend who wrestled for 4 years in high school and gave up all martial arts 8 years ago to be a fire fighter and lift weights. I would take him over almost ANY of the non-professional fighters /martial artists I train with in a real fight because I know what he is like and I trust him to immediately rek someone, rather than farting around, looking for an angle.
Well it's been a while, honestly the stupid got too much but this is a decent post.
To your hypothetical scenario, yes I would rush in and take the throw immediately if it's there. There's something to be said for brutal intensity but it's not really good training to treat your partner like a fucking terrorist. lol
He charges in with punches, I stop him with a kick and respond with my own flurry of punches and possibly finish with an osoto gari if it presents itself. Otherwise I can hit him some more.
Against an obvious grappler, punch or kick him in the face, stuff any takedowns and punish him some more.. It's not really a contradiction to avoid takedowns, I don't need to throw him when beating him then throwing him is much easier.
The only time I would clinch or grapple in a real fight is if I was forced into that position or if I naturally found myself in an ideal position to execute a throw.
Even in a real fight I respond to what my opponent gives me. If my opponent is already attacking at the outset I'll counter. If not, I attack quickly before he can defend. I can use both of these concepts in sparring. I like to blast in and out of range, use footwork, change timing to catch my opponent off guard, etc. Basically just have fun. haha
But doing some grappling on a mat with other grapplers, it doesn't matter if I take 2 minutes to get a throw by frustrating my opponent. It's good training, a way to build a skill set over time but only a means to an end.
Like when these guys talk about "survival" because they didn't get submitted but they spent the entire round in a position where they would get beat to death. Yes you "survived" in the gym but nowhere else - and yet, it does build a measurable skill.
It has some far flung relevance to combat but you have to be able to separate training methods from the real thing.
The truth is most of us training for years are going to come out on top in a "real" fight regardless unless the odds are really bad. I think your odds go up considerably if you aren't already a fucking gimp from training like a wack job. lol