It's been a long shitty day, can I just hang out over here
- Thread starter Drunken Meat Fist
- Start date
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2010
- Messages
- 15,404
- Reaction score
- 161
It is what it isIt's really not fair you get to make chat threads and not get wastelanded, it's even more frustrating that you're using this privilege to make boring ones instead of funny ones.
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2001
- Messages
- 44,396
- Reaction score
- 5,745
That hippo, ahaha. Thank you man. I have too many windows open, it's fucking jarring sonically, I've got innocent when you dream with this shitty cocauphany, boy that spelling looks not right, cacophony, nope, cocophany, fanny.
Hey guess when, I was a younger, smart asser punk fuck piece of shit version of myself, ...if you can stretch your mind about me that way. Picture yours, sitting polite, 9 a.m. in the mall. Been waiting for this for a couple weeks. I'm tucked under my table. I look over to my left, there's a couple cleanshaven little gradeschool motherfucker, .....to my right, some serious gimped nasty mugged old upstreeters positioning the comquats of their mind, yeah that ain't spelled right either, cumquats, thatlooks disgustingly right. You shoulda saw me at the bar, I was talking at group from Sescatchuan, yeah that don't look right, Seschatuan, there we go, we'll I brung over a pitcher of yellow waving introdruction. There's some, i'm sure nice body's and this one. She was really pretty, she was wasn't pretty, she was a generic girl with a generic blouse and kind of a bubbly little ass in stewardess type slacks where you buy in bulk, and and she had a kind of fuck you look like she was sucking on a particularly dated Norwegian carmel her son grabbed of the pavement and shoved in her mouth to stop an argument about the state of the Balinese theater. She was the one. I was sure my physical distractions would light her synapses right up. And I had peanuts. I sat down and distributed my picture and said where you folks from, I'm smelling some working man Pennsylvania armsweat, and some of that perfume you smell across from Victoria's Secret, You're not Victoria are you, honey? With those thigh boots, c'mon. Can I offer you a peanut? Ice queen no smile. Well, what do you do with a dry cunt who doesn't like a warm peanut. You do the thumb joke where you pull your thumb apart, while looking in her dead eye, and that's it, that's always thaws the ice queens.
Back to me at the mall. I couple folks who used to love me are standing behind me at the table, I think there's twentyfive or so of us. Here he come, oh, six one or two, balding a bit, legendary maniac sideburns, death stare, pursed frog lips, eyes that size up furniture for their life span. The Octopus. He played Bobby Fisher, hang on, I didn't give a shit about chess but I know it looks cool to be good at it, like you automatically know someshit your shitty player buddy doesn't. You're smart and he's forever stupid in all thing and there's nothing you can fuckng do about it. Youre the chimp that brings the stick to squeeze out the bugs and gives you his toilet paper.
Well, the Octopus shakes your hand but there's no meaning in it at all. He could be laying your head down as your dying with the same non chalance, goddamn that's spelled right. To cut to the chase, I outlasted a bunch of geriactric retards who thought they were waiting for Frank Sinatra, and some piss squirters who got the day off for chess club and a shot at the paper. You can see my chessboard in the newspaper. I figured if I'm beating dummies or I'm some kind of gifted chess prodigy in a small pond I'll find out. I was taught by two good lifelong poker players. He boxed me in in seven moves. I couldn't do a fucking thing. He fucked me like a cardinal, so instead of playing it out rationally, I knew I was his bitch there were still two kids playing, I went retard, not so was folding shop, but to quote the bard, as one judge said to the other, if you can't be just be arbitrary. He stopped at my board four times and then he looked me in the eye and laughed.
I met him again last year and we talked for a couple hours, I mentioned he dismantled my ego like he was petty a carp, he said he was sorry, he plays chess every now and then at coffee shops and little gatherings. But we yapped about the world, he's not a social guy, and I ain't much to write home about. I said, I played you way back n 91, and I threw the game. He said, I swear to fucking god, you made three moves into five. Why would you do that. Because my kids were watching and who would know the difference.
Anyway, I got rid of my chessboard and haven't played a game ever since. We talked about the world and when he's bored he plays legendary chess games for fun, both sides. He says people don't care anymore. He got kicked out of tournaments as a kid because no one could play with him, a little kid. People are shit.
Anyway, he's coming into town in a few days, We talked about Russian art and political minutiae miasma and the cost of a donut, and the flux of chair, we talked about a hundred thousand things and then he just stared at me forever and held his gaze. He said this to me, Tom, You are Unique. ..what you do with that. I said, considering the source, how many minutes ago did you have me on the line.
He'll be back in a couple days, when you're a schlub, talking to a true shaker, I asked him everything I wanted, so now, in my soul, just pedestrian buddies, architecture, that ain't spelled right, he doesn't watch movies, he's blind in any significant way, but he likes shitty tv as white noise. The few who matter stumbled on our conversation and said, you know that guy, what the fucking hell did you talk about?! WTF? What a horribly belittling thing to ask. The Octopus called me unique. I got that in my pocket, kind of fun personally, it was a good conversation, Just two weird fucking idiots talking about Guadi and Bobby Darin and John Singer Sergeant watercolors, and why Montana is boring, you could watch it all day.
Hey guess when, I was a younger, smart asser punk fuck piece of shit version of myself, ...if you can stretch your mind about me that way. Picture yours, sitting polite, 9 a.m. in the mall. Been waiting for this for a couple weeks. I'm tucked under my table. I look over to my left, there's a couple cleanshaven little gradeschool motherfucker, .....to my right, some serious gimped nasty mugged old upstreeters positioning the comquats of their mind, yeah that ain't spelled right either, cumquats, thatlooks disgustingly right. You shoulda saw me at the bar, I was talking at group from Sescatchuan, yeah that don't look right, Seschatuan, there we go, we'll I brung over a pitcher of yellow waving introdruction. There's some, i'm sure nice body's and this one. She was really pretty, she was wasn't pretty, she was a generic girl with a generic blouse and kind of a bubbly little ass in stewardess type slacks where you buy in bulk, and and she had a kind of fuck you look like she was sucking on a particularly dated Norwegian carmel her son grabbed of the pavement and shoved in her mouth to stop an argument about the state of the Balinese theater. She was the one. I was sure my physical distractions would light her synapses right up. And I had peanuts. I sat down and distributed my picture and said where you folks from, I'm smelling some working man Pennsylvania armsweat, and some of that perfume you smell across from Victoria's Secret, You're not Victoria are you, honey? With those thigh boots, c'mon. Can I offer you a peanut? Ice queen no smile. Well, what do you do with a dry cunt who doesn't like a warm peanut. You do the thumb joke where you pull your thumb apart, while looking in her dead eye, and that's it, that's always thaws the ice queens.
Back to me at the mall. I couple folks who used to love me are standing behind me at the table, I think there's twentyfive or so of us. Here he come, oh, six one or two, balding a bit, legendary maniac sideburns, death stare, pursed frog lips, eyes that size up furniture for their life span. The Octopus. He played Bobby Fisher, hang on, I didn't give a shit about chess but I know it looks cool to be good at it, like you automatically know someshit your shitty player buddy doesn't. You're smart and he's forever stupid in all thing and there's nothing you can fuckng do about it. Youre the chimp that brings the stick to squeeze out the bugs and gives you his toilet paper.
Well, the Octopus shakes your hand but there's no meaning in it at all. He could be laying your head down as your dying with the same non chalance, goddamn that's spelled right. To cut to the chase, I outlasted a bunch of geriactric retards who thought they were waiting for Frank Sinatra, and some piss squirters who got the day off for chess club and a shot at the paper. You can see my chessboard in the newspaper. I figured if I'm beating dummies or I'm some kind of gifted chess prodigy in a small pond I'll find out. I was taught by two good lifelong poker players. He boxed me in in seven moves. I couldn't do a fucking thing. He fucked me like a cardinal, so instead of playing it out rationally, I knew I was his bitch there were still two kids playing, I went retard, not so was folding shop, but to quote the bard, as one judge said to the other, if you can't be just be arbitrary. He stopped at my board four times and then he looked me in the eye and laughed.
I met him again last year and we talked for a couple hours, I mentioned he dismantled my ego like he was petty a carp, he said he was sorry, he plays chess every now and then at coffee shops and little gatherings. But we yapped about the world, he's not a social guy, and I ain't much to write home about. I said, I played you way back n 91, and I threw the game. He said, I swear to fucking god, you made three moves into five. Why would you do that. Because my kids were watching and who would know the difference.
Anyway, I got rid of my chessboard and haven't played a game ever since. We talked about the world and when he's bored he plays legendary chess games for fun, both sides. He says people don't care anymore. He got kicked out of tournaments as a kid because no one could play with him, a little kid. People are shit.
Anyway, he's coming into town in a few days, We talked about Russian art and political minutiae miasma and the cost of a donut, and the flux of chair, we talked about a hundred thousand things and then he just stared at me forever and held his gaze. He said this to me, Tom, You are Unique. ..what you do with that. I said, considering the source, how many minutes ago did you have me on the line.
He'll be back in a couple days, when you're a schlub, talking to a true shaker, I asked him everything I wanted, so now, in my soul, just pedestrian buddies, architecture, that ain't spelled right, he doesn't watch movies, he's blind in any significant way, but he likes shitty tv as white noise. The few who matter stumbled on our conversation and said, you know that guy, what the fucking hell did you talk about?! WTF? What a horribly belittling thing to ask. The Octopus called me unique. I got that in my pocket, kind of fun personally, it was a good conversation, Just two weird fucking idiots talking about Guadi and Bobby Darin and John Singer Sergeant watercolors, and why Montana is boring, you could watch it all day.
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2001
- Messages
- 44,396
- Reaction score
- 5,745
You read that? High Poobah.
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2007
- Messages
- 2,467
- Reaction score
- 265
I have no idea what's happening here, but I'm liking it.
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2001
- Messages
- 44,396
- Reaction score
- 5,745
I watched that movie on David Foster Wallace, not making shit comparisons, but people, friends, what the fuck would you two talk about for hours. Fuck you. Twenty people asked that. If you're talking to me you can kinda figure out my trajectory, just a buddy and then all my standards, have you seen the Manchurian Candidate, which he has. Jack Lemmon pisses me off. His presence in the Branagh Hamlet, which is the best Hamlet ruined his face for me and Billy Christal (sp) was product placement. If you can wipe away the horrendous stink, It's the greatest Hamlet,Seriously. Go watch it right now. I mean that, it's the full play, and...wellll fuck it. Another thread.
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2017
- Messages
- 13,278
- Reaction score
- 5,531
I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to have mod privileges. Don't bother looking into it or anything but you should go ahead and give them to me.
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2001
- Messages
- 44,396
- Reaction score
- 5,745
I'm sorry. This used to be my playground. I don't post in entitled arrogance, it's the only family I know, and I just came back from the doc with the bloodwork and psych evaluation.
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2001
- Messages
- 44,396
- Reaction score
- 5,745
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2015
- Messages
- 62,769
- Reaction score
- 22
I shan’t forgit the night
When I dropped be’ind the fight
With a bullet where my belt-plate should ’a’ been.
I was chokin’ mad with thirst,
An’ the man that spied me first
Was our good old grinnin’, gruntin’ Drunken Din
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2001
- Messages
- 44,396
- Reaction score
- 5,745
I'm nursing some bud light bottles, send me your address. My whole life I've never owned a flask.
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2006
- Messages
- 62,004
- Reaction score
- 16,716
Stella Cox is the British Christy Canyon.
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2017
- Messages
- 13,278
- Reaction score
- 5,531
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2008
- Messages
- 6,907
- Reaction score
- 626
I am hungover and on vacation right now, and really am not sure what the hell you even wrote, but fuck it. Ramble on. Sometimes it helps.
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2007
- Messages
- 10,196
- Reaction score
- 29
You are legend. Will Smith can suck a mannequin crotch.
